Do you think you can solve the Man Utd Maths Workbook ??

Question

Good morning everyone, sit down. Here are some questions for my dear fellow football fans!

1. Roy is 78 yards away from the referee at Old Trafford and David is 65 > yards away. If Roy can run at 21mph and David can run at 16mph, who will be sticking their vein-bulging forehead into the hapless whistler's face first, assuming Roy does not stop to stamp on an opponent on his way.

2. If one minute of time is taken up in a game for substitutions and one minute for injuries, how much injury time will be added on by the referee if Man Utd are losing at home?

3. Ryan is a Welshman. Express, as a percentage, the number of internationals he has missed on a Wednesday evening compared to the miraculous recoveries he made for the following Saturday.

4. Phil Neville has 30 international caps. If you take away the number of appearances when he was the only adult male in England who could just about kick the ball with his left foot, how many are left?

6. You are the referee at Old Trafford. How near to a visiting defender does a tumbling United forward have to be to earn a penalty if he goes down in the box? (Note; Round your answers down to the nearest 20 yards.)

7. Mark "The Red" lives in Guildford. How much does it cost for him and his two sons to travel to the Theatre of Silence every other weekend, including limited edition matchday programme, a few drinks and prawn sandwiches all round? How much could he save per week if he watched his local team instead? (Note; round your answers down to the nearest thousand pounds).

Dismissed!

Thank You! :D

Answer 1

Hahaha don't be hating coz we the best!!

Man United Forever

Answer 2

Lol I found that funny and I am a man u fan . questions 1,2, and 3 are my favourites  

Answer 3

wow! Maths homework has sure changed since my days at School !!!

Very funny .... detention for some i think! lol!

;-)

Answer 4

HAHA!!!

You forgot number 8

8. If Manchester United play Tottenham how far in feet can the ball cross the goal line without the linesman seeing it!!

Answer 5

Lmao at number 7.

"Theatre of Silence"

So very true.

Answer 6

I'm a United fan, but I salute you for your sense of humour.

Well done!!

Answer 7

One word sums up everything you said - "JEALOUS"

You really need to get a life mate if you have nothing better to do than write out 7 pathetic questions, you must be a liverpool, chelsea or arsewipe fan as you obviously can't count because you missed out number 5 haha looks like you need to go back to school and re-do maths!

Answer 8

I need water!!!

Answer 9

This a foolish question and inited have won a million trophies and this is a lame idea to prove the CHAMPIONS of EUROPE a team like chelsea.

Answer 10

Easy.

1. They both take around the same amount of time to do it as every other premiership team's players, except Chelsea and Arsenal who keep most of their players nearer to the referee at all times.

2. Having Fergie, the greatest manager ever, allows us to have extra minutes added on when losing at home - you're just jealous!

3. Also as a Welshman, I'm just honoured that Ryan played for us at all, because when he did, he was our best player by far, probably ever.

4. Phil Neville is a decent footballer who has achieved far more than you could even dream of - jealous again? I think so!

5. Where was number 5?

6. We hardly ever get penalties, at Old trafford or away, even if we are fouled in the penalty area, the referee is worried about being "biased" so doesn't give it to us!

7. Being the most famous, and one of the most successful football clubs in the world, you might be surprised to hear that we do get fans from all over the world, including posh parts of London! They're really nice too, as they buy the shirts and occasionally travel to games, giving us lots of money, which in turn allows us to have best club stadium in Britain and also the best football team with the best players! Now take your sarcasm and stick it up your fat jealouss @ss!

:D  

Answer 11

quite funny, but can't help wondering who turned back the clock, as this is an old joke, Roy, David and Phil have left Utd long time ago.

But kudos to the guy with point 8, very funny