Do you think you would feel this way and would it be justified?

Question

This is not my actual situation but I am curious about what you all think.

A couple had one child around 6 months and discovered they were expecting another. At the 20 weeks scan it was discovered that the child would have quite a severe disability but would be likely to survive. The couple decide to keep the child but due to unrelated circumstances they lose the baby several weeks later.

Do you think it would be justified for them to be relieved and how do you think you would feel?

Answer 1

yes i think it would be justified for them to be relieved i would be to  

Answer 2

i wouldnt want to abort just ont "what if??"  the dr/test could be wrong...

on the other hand if my body started a miscarage i think i would also be relived not to have to walk that path...

Answer 3

If there was any relief in my heart at all, it would be that my child would not have to live a life of suffering. So yes, that feeling is justified in my opinion.

Answer 4

I work with individuals who have developmentaland physical disabilities.  Each of them is so unique and wonderful, they have taught me so much.  I have been through losing several of them and been to the funerals.  I see the families, yes they are grieving terribly, but I can also see the relief that their cchild'spain has ended.  I wish I am never in this situation, but if i was, i would not feel guilty for being relieved that their gone and their suffering is over.

Answer 5

well all honesty i would be kind of relieved for so many reasons..my number one reason would be for my child i would be absolutely devastated because i would have went through with the pregnancy also..i won't bore you with all my reasons but i would be devastated but a little relieved at the same time

Answer 6

Maybe not relieved but I think it is o.k. to think  that maybe it was for the better for the child. I think things happen for a reason and it could be this child was just not meant to be. I could never imagine having to deal with a child with disabilities until my sister had 2 children with autism and now I understand that you will love them for who they are not dislike them for the burden.

Answer 7

If it's not your actual situation why on Earth do you care? Everyone has the right to their feelings without judgment.

Answer 8

I don't think that it is right that they are relieved.  I would be totally hurt I would feel like some one keeps hitting me in the heart.

Answer 9

I would be relieved that I would not have to endure that pain and heartache that some mothers do but I would be very sad for a life lost - for a child who never got to see or experience true happiness in some way in the real world.

PS - your baby is freakin adorable!!!!

Answer 10

I don't believe that I would be relieved but I would be happy that my child didn't have to suffer

Answer 11

It would be understandable if they were relieved.

My dear husband of 20 years died of cancer - he had chemotherapy, radiation, an amputation and when he died he was paralysed - I was distraught when he died, but guess what, I was relieved too - I would not have wished him back for another minute of what he was going through.

Answer 12

honestly, i think i would be relieved.

i grew up around a few disabled people and its so hard to raise a kid, and when they get older and you cant be around so much, they still need someone to rely on.  i know they are human too, but as a soon to be mom, i hope i never have to go through this.

Answer 13

In a way I think I might be relieved but I have had a miscarriage before and it would absolutely devastate me. I have been TTC for 2 years and I have had a discussion like this with my fiance, and we have decided that even if our child did have a disability, we would love it and take care of it the same way as we would a child without a disability. I think it would be normal for anyone to feel slightly relieved to not have to take care of a child with a disability, but to say "justified" I think is wrong. I think the feeling of loss and bereavement would be so much more than the relief that you may not even feel the relief for months after the loss.