Do you vegan/vegetarians get annoyed with people?

Question

Hi fellow vegan/vegetarians. I just came from dinner at my inlaws. I love them but they can be so frustrating. They made t their comments when I was a vegetarian but now that I became a vegan recently they are bordering on obnoxious. Why does it bother meat eaters that we don't eat meat? Why can't they just accept it and keep their comments to themselves. I don't make fun of them for eating meat. To each his own. My mother in law said I was as weird as those La Leche people. She didn't breastfeed so she makes fun of that too. My father in law will wave chicken in my face and tell me that I must think it smells good. They are obsessed with it. They eat meat at every meal so they can't believe that there are people who don't eat any meat. Yesterday she's like are you coming over we are grilling chicken? I just bring my own food. They don't accomodate me but I don't care. They joke at my expense but I try to write it off as ignorance. How would you handle it?

Answer 1

Oh dear, what a sad situation this is.

I think this kind of behaviour says more about them than it does about you. Some people feel very threatened by others who don't share their beliefs and/or lifestyle. Therefore, for some, mockery and hostility towards others is one way of dealing with this.

Try not to pigeon hole meat eaters as a group though: there are plenty of people who don't behave like this. Try and be kind and respectful towards them, even if you're steaming inside - after all, that's the vegan way. Given enough time, you might be surprised too - after a certain amount of mockery and hostility, they'll tire of it. If you can deal with it up to that point, you might get them one day into a genuine dialogue about diet. It's happened before, so keep the hope alive.

Good luck. You can do it.

Answer 2

As a Vegan/vegetarian it is totally cool to be annoyed with people. My family did exactly the same thing to me. They made fun of me. they made fun of me when I went to Weight Watchers too. My dad would say, why do you do that, so you could watch eachother gain weight? Then, a funny thing happened... I gained another one hundred pounds. My family doesn't make fun of me anymore. My mom cooks vegan for me, and even eats what I eat too. I blog about it now. I hope this experiment changes my life for the better.

Viva La Vegan Baby!!!

Answer 3

I can totally relate. It helps to have a supporting husband. I didn't have to coerce my husband into eating this way. He doesn't call himself vegetarian or anything and he still eats a little meat etc but he is very vocal about his preference for just veg's and how much better it makes him feel. Because it is clear that it was his decision they dont take it out on me. They are confused though as I used to eat meat and I explain to them "Its amazing how the desire for meat just goes away" and I leave the room to avoid the smell. Hubby understands and tells them sometimes if the smells is bothering me, especially coz I am pregnant and have been very sick. (NO its not caused by a deficiency! My blood levels are great in spite of how sick Ive been. My hormones are super high though)

Ive been eating a little bit of fish as Ive had trouble eating a balanced diet and getting enough protein for baby due to being excessively sick. Last week they said "Lets try something different next time maybe some chicken" I peeked around the cupboard and said "Ill just have veggies" Steve explained to them that I wouldnt like chicken and supported me. They know I dont like chicken but they dont stop asking. It can be very irritating but Ive learned to just tell them the truth. I also explained "Im sorry Im just really not a fan of chicken (like they didn't know) especially just a piece of plain chicken/ Ive never actually liked plain meat its always had to have a lot of flavour on it for me to enjoy it" This way they understand why things have changed - and that they havnt really at all..

Its hard 4 me at the moment because my actions seem to conflict with what Im saying do to being pregnant but ultimately its my choice what I do and the reasons I do it. Im encouraged at the moment as they recently went on a 'vegetable soup diet' (with a beef stock base...) and while I think that crash diets are ridiculous they have been major 'protein diet' fans ever since Ive known them so something Im doing must be getting through a little. Maybe they can see that its a healthier way and it makes you slimmer after all by looking at me? Even Geoff said he's kinda gone off (red) meat!!!!!! Something I thought Id never hear. He said he'd never have thought it was possible either. I didn't make a big deal about this - just agreed that veggies are great but inside I was stoked :)

I hope this encourages you. Just tell them the truth. It would help if your husband supported you and hit them straight about it in a way they dont think you've been in his ear "Eg you KNOW that .......... doesn't eat meat so would you stop pestering her!" Make sure this is when you aren't around as it will make it very awkward. He will be much more comfortable with his family than you are.

Hubby and I have started to avoid his parents although they have always been very supportive in a lot of ways... too much contact makes them think they are entitled to speak into your life. This may be a good idea with you and your man too... We see them once every week or two where it used to be every day. This is much healthier... Now I find I have more confidence to be upfront when they are being rude and like "Its opposite day"

Sorry dear theres not a lot you can do but I hope this helps

Answer 4

Don't show any emotion, because like you don't care what they say because you are saving animals, and that's all that counts right? But if you must do something invite them over for dinner and serve a nice veggitarain meal, and after say"Doesn't it feel good to have eaten such  a delicious meal and not had to murder for it?". They'll be speachless. :) Good luck!

ehh sorry I was typing fast so nothings spelled right, too  lazy to fix it.

Answer 5

Every single time I eat dinner with meat eaters I have to go through the same repetitive conversation, "so what do vegans eat then...?" me: "we eat everything you eat except meat, eggs and milk," them: "buuut, what do you eat?" me: "I JUST TOLD YOU!" lol, not really, I try to be polite but ahh sometimes I just want to yell. Yes, I get annoyed with people, but I hide it because I don't want to give off that radical vegan psycho stereotype. People will always be stupid, and we, the intelligent, will just have to deal with it!  : )

Answer 6

It's somewhat easy to simply turn down meat and keep it really low-profile if one is lacto-dairy vegetarian. But when you're vegan, it's near impossible to eat at anyone's house without asking the ingredients since most people add milk or eggs to most nearly all dishes.

So I would make sure I wasn't at all trying to convert them or be judgmental to them in subtle ways. And being sure I was not...

...I'd ask why they were so threatened by your diet. Is it because they think you're being judgmental about them? Clarify that you don't judge them as neither unethical nor ignorant. Clarify to them it's just your own personal preference - like a favorite color.

If it's more than just a personal preference/dislike, look within again, and make sure you're not giving that vibe.

Answer 7

Sorry kids, have to ask this...what is it that you think the food chain is for?  Cows...explain their purpose please (we swear they are ozone killers, but they were created...explain that to me...) ...you enjoy your salad...cause the little bunny foo foos salivate on the very lettuce you're eating animals......and the bugs that feed on the leaves, yeh, animals...where do you go from there...?

Answer 8

Wow, they sound intolerant! What state are you from? The reason I am curious is that in rural areas and states, there seem to be more narrow-mindedness, which is really fear of differences. Why? It threatens their world view. You are breaking away from the pack, the herd, and some people cannot handle that because it challenges their sense of right and wrong and the decisions they have made. I am guessing that this is hardly the only area where it manifests. You are married to their child so they are in your life to some degree. I would talk to them about it if you see them all the time. I'd say that you respect their dietary choices and you would appreciate if they would respect yours. Tell them that they don't have to accomodate you (which is true), but that you expect them to not goad you by waving meat in your face, teasing you, etc. Remember--you will probably have kids with your spouse one day and will raise the kid as vegan and are they gonna sabotage it by giving him/her meat and junk food? It's important to law down the law now, before there are problems.

Answer 9

If they are your inlaws, I suggest you talk to your spouse about it.  He/she should talk to them and ask them to control their behavior.  

For anyone else, I'd say just flatly tell them to leave you alone, and stop going to their house if they don't.  But you can't do that for family.

Answer 10

Just ignore it. If you can, don't mention being a vegetarian at all around them. Just skip the meat. If they offer, say, "No, thanks."

Some people find meat gross if they think about it (I mean, really, you're eating body parts). They're totally able to dissociate until it's brought to their attention. This is not to say that vegetarians go around saying, "Ew, dead animal!" (Those who do are behaving badly.) However, when someone has made the conscious decision to avoid a food, it reminds others that there are reasons to avoid it. It's like people who don't drink... drinkers sometimes feel uncomfortable drinking around them.

Another issue is that some people plain don't understand that not everyone wants/likes meat. Like, meat doesn't smell or taste good to me anymore. It's just so unappealing. But others enjoy it so much they think I must miss it, or like it but just not eat it. The fact is, I don't. I just don't like it.

I'd ignore your inlaws as best as you can. Thank them graciously for inviting you over to dinner, compliment the food that you did eat (ask for the recipe, even), and make no mention of vegetarianism. At the absolute most, you could politely ask that they not make comments or wave meat in your face.