Do you wait until you've calmed down?

Question

Sometimes I get so upset by something my son does, that I have to wait before handing out punishment, because I don't want it to be too extreme. Do you punish in the heat of the moment, or wait until your mind is a bit clearer?

Answer 1

usually i wait untill my son is calmed down.. I try to at least..

because if he's in the mist of a tantrum and i shout.. "your grounded from tv 2 weeks!" then he's really gonna go over the edge.. and then i up it to try and get control over the situation.. "do you want.. 3 week? 4? " at that point the situation is just crazy.. he's upset and i'm upset.. and i'm stuck enforcing a dumb punishment that is more painful to me then him lol.. So if i wait till everyones calm.. he doesn't react and scream.. and i don't have to up the punishment and make it impossible to enforce realistically (we have had groundings being enforced where i don't even remember what he did to get it)

but anyway.. yes i try to wait till i am calm, but in some instances.. even tho everyones upset you have to get your point acrossed at that moment..

it all depends on you, your kids age.. and how everyone is prone to react..

Answer 2

i think you hould wait till youve calmed down before talking to your son...... although dont foregt the anger you had cause being more calmed makes you be more leaner on your son and he will start taking advantage ..... good luck sweetie and remember be firm xx

Answer 3

There is nothing wrong with what you are doing. Its better for a child to have a calm parent than one that is flipping out. Trust me, I have a 5 and 2 1/2 year olds. So I know what it is like to wait a bit. One thing I would suggest is not wait too long before you punish the child, because it could confuse them.

Answer 4

I have set punishments for certain misbehaviours - that way I can dish out punishment on the spot regardless how irritated I am.  

They know what's going to happen if they behave a certain way, so if they choose to be naughty anyway they have to deal with the consequences.

The same thing only happens a few times before they catch on that they aren't going to get away with it!!

Good luck!

Answer 5

i try to calm down even leave the room ignore him till you ready to deal with situation with clear head.as with anything in life you cant make rational decisions when you cant think straight.breath take 5 then address the situation

Answer 6

I punish myself in the heat of the moment and I always regret making myself go to time out!

Answer 7

Yes, wait until you've calm down.

Answer 8

im doing that right now.

there is a tantrum going on upstairs, im downstairs, trying to breathe before i go back up....

Answer 9

I have punished in the heat of the moment and i advise against it. Put your child in their room and wait 5 minutes or so till you have calmed down a bit.

Answer 10

My kids know what the punishments are beforehand. You need to set it up and let them know what the punishments are for each miss behavior. This really works great!

Answer 11

No, don't wait until you've calmed down because by then the child would have likely forgotten why they are being punished and won't know what the heck you are doing. Do it immediately when they act up, even if you are slightly upset. If it is severe enough that you have to leave the child will not forget, so then it's okay.

Answer 12

You are right.  It's better to send him to his room while you calm down then discuss it calmly later.

Answer 13

wow, its actually amazing that u have a clear head to notice when ur to upset to deal with it, most pple dont, i have watched many parents get so mad they just yell out a punishment which doesnt even fit the crime....

ur doing great! keep calm and im sure ur kids will always remember it

Answer 14

I think it is good to allow yourself to calm down before punishing your child;)

I usually just take my daughter to the "time out" spot and walk away~I might tell her why first (depending on her actions)

It gives us both a time away to calm ourselves;)

You are a good mom;)

Answer 15

I don't have kids (yet)- but I will always wait until I am calm, cool, and collected to discipline my kid(s).

Answer 16

I've only been that upset once, and yes I did wait....I sent my daughter to her room while I calmed down...I didn't want to do anything I would regret or that would make my daughter hate me!