Do you want to be like your parents, or not? Why or why not? (10 pts. for most insightful answer)?

Question

Barring the fact that they made you lol (unless you were adopted, then in which case this question refers to the parents who RAISED you!) your parents have undoubtedly had an important influence in how you are now.

Do you want to follow your parents' example in how you raise a family of your own and make judgments, or do you try to be different from them?

Thank you for sharing your stories.

Answer 1

I don't want to be like my parents, but I would like to find someone who is like my dad, because he is funny, really smart, and has lots of knowledge about life in general. I believe I may have already found that guy though... :). In short, I'd like to be with someone like my parents in many ways, but in their own way sorta and not have me be like them

Answer 2

i would never want to be like my mum or step dad cause they were pot smoking dumbasses and the raisde me while they were stoned. My real dad died when i was 7 but i hadnt seen him since that accident that stuffed up my mum's life.

i am striving to follow my fathers footprints and b a head cheff and am looking forward to it.

my kids will b disciplined but not to the extent where they get a blood lip from being thrown around the room like my mum's stoned boyfriend always did to me.

i wanna b like my nana and pop cause they r the nicest people some one could wish to meet.

Answer 3

I don't think so. My dad is the vice president of a laboratory company, and while he is smart and well-to-do, he feels that money is what makes people happy. When I got my first part-time job at 16, he disapproved of the "scant" 85% of the money that I was saving for later things. He wanted me to save all of it, minus money for gas.

I want to be a graphic designer. Now that I'm a senior in highschool, now is the time that I really need to get college stuff ready. My father however, does not help me with any of this and tries to convince me to become a doctor because there is a lot of money to be made in that field, and not in the graphic design field.

As I said, he is a smart man and he loves his family. His anger is terrible though. You have not seen anger until you have seen him.

My mother on the other hand, isn't the brightest crayon in the box. I had to teach her a few months ago how to type on the computer. However, she is extremely good at "forgetting" things and manipulating people to her own ends.

Raising the family I feel my mother has not done that best job. My brother is 20 years old, lives here and goes to a community college. He is the laziest thing you have ever seen, and my parents do nothing about it.

A good thing from this is I know how I will not be raising my family when I'm older. I will permit my children to have opposite s*x friends. (my parents are still not letting me do this. As I said, I'm a senior.)

I will control my anger, and that of a future husband. I will let my children make mistakes, instead of shielding them from the world.

Therefore, I would not be following in my parents footsteps.

Answer 4

some things yes, some things no

Answer 5

Absolutely not. My dad has some good ideas. Somewhere deep down I know he loves his kids. But he takes me and my brother for granted. He's pretty darn lazy, very cruel and arrogant and he has no respect for me. Worst of all (the thing that eats me up the most) is he really really believes that money is a huge part of life and believes in manipulating people with it, everything for him is a money excuse. Money this money that. Money has made him very greedy. Even if he became a millionaire he would probably greed even more.

I don't think he cares about ethics also. I would want to educate my children in so many ways that he has not done with me.

So no I would not like to be like my father. My mother well lets not even mention her. (no use)

Answer 6

Looks like you were raised in violent situation.  You have taken all nice decisions to be a role model.  But, you are only an individual. A family consists of many individuals over whom you have to gain control. Wish you all the best to manage it well and peaceful.  Love and respect are the key words.

Answer 7

Cookie your my heroine!

I was raised by foster parents and my birth parents, so there was good and bad in both. But my foster parents were mostly good people, they had to be to put up with me, but they had their faults too.

In my early teens and living with my birth parents I would do anything to get out of the house, and even started to work at 14 so I could buy a pair of glasses that I wanted, not those ugly ones that I was forced to wear because mum and dad could not afford the nicer looking ones, my siblings hated me because I had spent my early years in foster care, so we would fight often (I learnt how to fight like a boy, and swear like a trooper), I also hated moving from school to school and was bullied terribly because of an undiagnosed learning disability, in which my daughter inherited.

The things I hated were;

Chain smoking (but not ever marijuana)

Abuse - physical & emotional

Fights and screaming matches

Having to eat crappy food due to lack of money

Being poor

The one thing both my parents and foster parents were willing to give those less well off a helping hand. Dad (birth parents) even came home from the tip with a man who'd been living there, and mum came home with two woman who'd had their gear stolen and had no where to stay. How they stayed in our dysfunctional house I don't know.

One Christmas one of the kids had done something, and after an hour of standing in line and know one admitting they did it, dad took the tree out and chopped it up. Boxing day was boxing day if you know what I mean. Another Christmas mum and dad had a huge fight after mum had not bought me a gift, so dad dragged me off the find a shop to buy something before they closed I got a dress that they could not afford, but dad wanted to make sure I had a gift, and I still feel guilty about it.

Before I married I made sure my husband knew the importance of communication, that we must tell each other we loved each every day, and that he was to never lay a finger on me, or I would walk (we have been married for 25 years this year).

When our daughter was born I vowed that I would not abuse her or scream at her (not easy to do when you knew nothing else), and that I would not drag her from one school to another, or move her from home to home and that I would tell her I loved her every day too, as well as talk to her and listen to what she had to say.

When my daughter had to have glasses too I let her pick out the frame, as I wanted her to wear them not hide them, like I did as a child.

When my daughter was diagnosed as having dyslexia, ADHD & ODD, I learnt I had dyslexia too, so learnt as much as possible about dyslexia to make sure my daughter was not going to fail school like I did. I went back to school and became a Youth & Disability support worker, with a special interest in learning disabilities, especially dyslexia.

My daughter is a qualified Disability support worker, and very well adjusted young woman, and we are the best of friends as well as mother and daughter.

I firmly believe had I raised my daughter the way I had been raised, she would have been removed from my care.

Answer 8

I would never aspire to be like either of my parents.  I've seen how unhappy they are, but they've done it onto themselves because of some of their poor decision making.  Your perspective of your parents change as you meet more people who are different from there.

I agree with you on a lot.  I'd never punish my children the way I was.  Now that I know more, I see myself as the lone liberal Democrat and my parents are the conservative Republicans in the house.  I actually even find it hard to be myself around them anymore because they are so critical of every decision I make.  I keep promising to myself that I'll always let my children (if I have any) have their space to be whoever they want to be.

My parents met in a bar.  My mother was his third woman that he had children with, they were never married.  I can't even begin to say how much I *ahem* strongly dislike him.  Both my parents were alcoholics and my father would go too far when punishing me and then treat my sister almost sickeningly nice because she was his little princess and I was the unwanted child.  I don't think I'd ever treat any kid that way no matter how mad I was.  Then again, looking at pros and whatnot, these events contribute to me taking a pledge not to drink at all, whatsoever.

ha, just thinking now, I do miss the days where mom was prettiest, both of them were just the cleverest people you knew, things such as that.  This was probably only because I didn't know any better.  Well, I'll stop ranting and get to the point.  I think there is an influence, but only up to a certain age, until the "I want to try new things" stage comes into effect.

Answer 9

I will never want to be like neither one of my parents and I made sure I am not.

I will make sure my kids are not abused by their dad. I teaches them the facts of life. I let them know they can trust me in telling me if someone hurt them or molest them. I let them know I'm their protector no matter what. I never felt safe as a kid.

I show them people who are in poverty so they can be afraid to take that role if they can help it. I remember times, my mom didn't eat just so we could eat while my father was hanging out drunken just to start his abusive ways. I remember not having any clean clothes to go to school cause my mom had no money to wash them. My kids have so many clothes they have to push their clothes close together in the closet to even fit and that's not counting the many that they feel is out dated.

My mom called me all kinds of names when I was 9-13 years old and I just thought she hated me. I made sure I never call my kids crazy names. My mom got mad at me when I started my menustration, telling me it was because I was a fast *** girl. I begged my sister not to tell her that I had started because I knew this would happen.

I got pregnant at 13 and had no clue that I was pregnant until I was 7 months pregnant. Got married at 14 just to get out of my crazy house which at this time my father was in prison for abusing us. I was so happy. Now he's an old man and I feel so sorry for him, how he just destroyed his whole life drinking, being homeless and lonely. I sure can't have him around my girls, even though he is old. I don't trust anyone around my girls, especially the one's who look like perverts.

One thing I can say, my experiences didn't make me crazy but made me stronger and aware. I forgive my dad for he's mentally ill and my mother for not being my protector the way she should have.

I now have 6 children of my own and adopted 7 children who have been abused as well. Yes this is how crazy my past has made me.

Georgie, you are so right, we foster parents even have faults just because we are not perfect. You seem to have done very well with your daughter. Did you know many many people who are dyslexia or genuises. I have 2 friends who are dyslexia and is very smart. ADHD can be dealt with and you seem have done very well with dealing with that.  But girl! My ODD children drove me up a wall. I had to tell them get out of my face and come back when they can talk to me the correct way. They would argue at you because someone else made them mad. But that was a good way to calm them down cause they alway came back and talk to me sensibly.