Do you want to read a retirement joke?

Question

before i retired, i went to the s.s. office to apply for social security. the woman behind the desk asked me for my drivers license to verify my age.i reached back to get my wallet from my back pocket and realized i left my wallet at home. the woman behind the desk said "no problem..open your shirt". i did and revealed gray chest hairs. she said that's all the proof i need" and processed my application.when i got home i told my wife. she said that i should have dropped my pants. i would probably get disability as well.

Answer 1

especially from a female s.s. clerk! lol

sounds like your wife has quite the sense of humor ;)

Answer 2

WOW, you just gave me an idea when I get to retire. lol. That was too funny.

Answer 3

no.

Answer 4

Seems God was just about done creating the universe, had a couple of left-over things left in his bag of creations, so he stopped by to visit Adam and Eve in the Garden.

He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up and pee. "It's a very handy thing," God told the couple who he found hanging around under an apple tree. "I was wondering if either one of you wanted that ability."

Adam popped a cork. Jumped up and begged, "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems the sort of thing a Man should do. Oh please, oh please, oh please, let me have that ability. I'd be so great! When I'm working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just let it rip, I'd be so cool. Oh please, God, let it be me who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please........." On and on he went like an excited little boy (who had to pee).

Eve just smiled and shook her head at the display. She told God that if Adam really wanted it so badly, and it sure seemed to be the sort of thing that would make him happy, she really wouldn't mind if Adam were the one given the ability to stand up and pee.

And so it was. And it was...well, good. "Fine," God said, looking back into his bag of left-over gifts. "What's left here? Oh yes, multiple orgasms..."  

Answer 5

LMAO...This is priceless!!!!!!!!!!!! You Cliff slay me!

Answer 6

Good one!

Answer 7

lol try mine!

Answer 8

LMAO!!!!!

That is hysterical and deserves 1,000 HUGS!!!!!!

Thanks for the laugh!!!!

Answer 9

not funny

Answer 10

Well, my husband just retired, I'll have to tell him that when he goes in for ss I'll have to tell him what to do.

Answer 11

ouch.

Answer 12

Loved this morning chuckle. Thanks Clifford.

And yes, people ought to use their own space to try to drum up business.  

Answer 13

hahahhahahaa

Answer 14

so funny!

Answer 15

Funny! You have a good name too.

Answer 16

i like it..

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Answer 17

Sounds like I'm all set to get signed up :)

Answer 18

Oh dear!  

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Cant wait for the next instalment of Cliffords Crazy Capers!

Answer 19

hahahaha

Answer 20

Hehe... great one! Thanks for the laugh, Cliff!

Answer 21

Haha!