Do you want to read this poem?

Question

As usual, I'm always dying.

As usual, it takes inner violence to allow myself to begin crying.

Suicide, they suggest... I'm trying! I'm trying!

People pretend to try to stop me in an attempt to encourage struggling.

They don't catch the painful remarks my mind's juggling

People ignore the number of people who spread lies

When I call them out, that's when they try to include me

I've heard too many opinions about what should/shouldn't bug me.

I might pray to truly feel that I have a family one day.

A constantly broken heart doesn't play

Reciting this to myself might be as useful.. but, anyways...

Answer 1

I don't like the phrase should/shouldn't, I think it would be should or shouldn't. Also your last stanza needs another line. I would suggest the last line be the same as the first or similar. Or something like -Just like always... I'm dieing.

I love your poem alot and the emotion you put into it. It's very good work.  

Answer 2

uhh ... no .

not to be mean though .

its kinda ... ahh idk how to explain it .

  

Answer 3

Yep, I wanted to read your poem, and did a few times.

I think it's a good poem.

I think you laid it all out, and what you put out is actually what life always is for most people... a struggle and a juggle; opinions thrown hither and yon (including this one); a hurting heart (anyone who hasn't had their heart 'broken' hasn't been alive long or hasn't put much of their heart into living)...

...This poem, in my opinion, reflects life itself for most people. Ask around sometime, if you're ever in a group of mature people who talk about real things, how many ever thought about suicide or attempted it in some way. You'd be surprised (or maybe not) how many have. Most people get really down for some amount of time in their lives.

I think writing a poem about it is an excellent way to try to deal with it. I encourage you to keep writing, whether it's poetry or prose, open or closed. Writing stuff down, and later talking about it, can be a balm.

Thanks for sharing.

Answer 4

oooh i really like it.. it's pretty cool..

Answer 5

Normally I hate people's lame little poems lol but this one is alright I enjoyed reading it....umm and keep your head up (assuming you wrote this and its true) Dont let people bother you so much try to see the good in everyone and understand why people act the way they do. Everything will turn out better in time. Just avoid situations that are going to lead you to sadness or anger or stress...