Do you want your parents to stay together for your sake, or would you rather let them divorce and be happy?

Question

My parents are staying together, even though they obviously don't love each other, just because for our sake (the kids). They don't hate each other, but they are more like bickering friends than lovers. I sometimes think it's better for them to separate from each other than be together because they have so many petty fights. I sometimes think they don't want to separate because they think they can't find a new lover. I don't know... In my case, what would you have your parents rather do?

Answer 1

My parents seperated when I was little and they have a great relationship even now.  I am glad that they seperated and found happiness with someone else.

Answer 2

My parents didn't fight too much, but it was clear that there was no love. They didn't even sleep in the same room. SO I always wondered why they didn't divorce, until they separated when I was 14. And to me, it seemed so normal ! Wasn't traumatized at all by the divorce.

Answer 3

My mom divorced my dad cuz she found someone else.

Now shes terribly happy and pregnant. My father is an

old mean man now. He's full of hatred and agony and

anger. Anytime my mom needs something he declines.

She cries wen they 'talk' on the fone. Divorce is a hideous

thing. But in ur case, its the only way to go now.

Before u tell them take everything in. They'll have shared

custody. One week here one week there. That kinda things.

that sucks like ____. One parent WILL be unhappier than

the other. maybe. I know alot about this. email me if u

want to know more([e-mail]) Good Luck.

Answer 4

I think they should just divorce, but then again depends on what age all the kids are. If they are all teenagers and older, then I don't think it should be a big deal. If they are young, I would be hesitant about that.

Answer 5

Divorce and be happy

Answer 6

I would say get a divorce, your children do not need to think that is the way a normal relationship is...

Answer 7

i'd say divorce and be happy as friends rather than stay together and not be happy.  

Answer 8

Just keep in mind that even though they might appear to stay together for the sake of their kids - there ARE lots of other considerations too in such cases.  Splitting up a life time of a relationship that you've invested MOST of your life in to divorce has TONS of ramifications that go way beyond just the KIDS to consider!

Finances, bank accounts, insurance, medical, work, house, belongings - the list is endless.  SOME times it just isn't worth the headache and heartache of going thru such a split!  However, since you obviously recognize their unhappiness it would be good to EXPRESS this to them.  Maybe they should atleast sleep in separate rooms or readjust their relationship so that their constant bickering and fighting can stop for you sake.... CUZ that is just NOT OK either.

I think you should sit them both down and discuss the whole thing.  MAYBE they would act or behave or DO somethings differently if they knew how you felt.  Can't hurt!

Answer 9

I wish my parents would have divorced. It was so obvious they weren't happy, and I hatred them for a long time because the tone in our house was so "cold" emotionally. Everything felt so fake. I couldn't wait to get away from them.

Answer 10

BE HAPPY!!!!!! XD

Answer 11

In my case definately divorced

Answer 12

For the last 15 years or so of my mother's life (before she passed away) all she ever used to do was b**tch and complain about my father, and all my father used to do is gripe about how crabby my mother was.  

Now that my mother is gone, all he can do is talk about how miserable he is without her.

Go figure.

I think your parents will come to some sort of decision somewhere along the way; in the mean time, as long as their unhappiness isn't spilling over into the family life I say just leave it be.  But if it should start to do so, then maybe it might be a good thing -- if you've the courage -- to mention to one or both of them that if they're so miserable together that they make everyone around them miserable, then perhaps it's time for them to be apart.

Answer 13

I would pick none of the above.  Since we have entered fantasy land where I get to pick what they do, I pick stay together, stop fighting, and get happy.  Bickering involves choices.  People don't have to do it if they choose not to.  They could communicate in a peaceful way if they decided that's what they wanted to do.  Your house could be filled with harmony and peace rather than discontent and arguing, if only your parents chose to quit behaving like spoiled children and instead started acting like adults who express ideas, listen, fight fairly, and treat each other with respect.  If you can choose whether or not to divorce, you can also choose whether or not to start communicating well.

I have been married for 22 years, and anyone who believes my wife and I don't ever disagree about anything is a fool.  However, when we talk about something, we look each other in the eyes, we hear each other out, and we work constructively at whatever it is until we either reach an agreement, a compromise, or until we realize we just have to agree to disagree.  This is not bragging.  This is me, an ordinary person, saying that there is nothing particularly special about my wife and me whatsoever.  We're human beings, just like your parents, but if we can do it, so can they.

Answer 14

dude. let them get divorced. i mean my parents hate each other and they're going through divorce right now, but your parents dont seem that bad. if i were you id rather them do it now instead of it getting worse later

Answer 15

happy parents = happy kids.

Answer 16

When I was younger my parents had fights like everyday...They def should of divorced...Everyone would have been much happier but no they decided to stay together and now they are very unhappily married for 35 years...Never stay together for the sake of the kids it makes the situation worse...

Answer 17

My parents divorced when I was 8 yrs old. My mother just left one day without explanation. I later found out my father had an affair. I stayed with my father and new step-mother.

I think it would be better if they divorce. This way they may save their friendship. If they are going to stay together they should be in couples therapy. This way they can find out why they want to stay together.  

Answer 18

I'd like for them to be happy and split.

Answer 19

divorced and happy.  my parents did that and it worked out pretty good for us.  parents are people too and they should be happy.  it makes everything smoother.

Answer 20

If I was in your shoes

I would let them know that is okay if they want to divorce that it does not bother me I mean it hurts. But you understand that they should move on with there life and if they think they could find someone else they could go and do it. That I am always going to love them with all my heart.

Let them be happy

Answer 21

I would stay out of your parents relationship.  They are adults and know what is best for you however my parents stayed married until my Dad died 3 years ago.  It was a terrible marriage. My Dad was an alcoholic and my Mom and enabler.  They made huge mistakes which messed my siblings and I up.  If they would of divorced I think our life would of been a happier one.