Do you women think maybe all you really want is a wedding...and getting married is a bonus?

Question

meaning... if you don't have a wedding and get married, then your friends will treat you like three is something wrong with you ..or pitty you..

your thoughts?

Answer 1

Generalization is the epitome of ignorance.

Good luck

Answer 2

Some women want the pomp and circumstance. Some want something quiet and just the two of you, and some just don't to get married at all. For me small and intimate was what I wanted. I am very happily married. Despite having a horrible wedding day and honeymoon.

good luck to you. :)  

Answer 3

No, I didn't even want a big wedding, I wanted me and him in Jamaica.  Everyone else wanted the wedding.

I was even content to do it in the courthouse, I just want to be married to him.

I turned down my ex on marriage, so I really don't think I just want the marriage or the wedding, I think I want the guy.

Answer 4

Well, the important thing is the marriage. The wedding is the bonus!

We got married at the Clerk of Courts (almost) a year ago. If we can save the money, we might have a vow renewal ceremony, but the wedding itself never was more important to me, than finally marrying the perfect man for me, before someone else snatched him away!

Answer 5

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of "The Big Wedding". I still want a big wedding because I want my family, his family, and our friends there to celebrate with us. It's such a happy day that I wouldn't want to celebrate it alone. The glitz and glamor is fun, but when I think of my perfect wedding, here is what I see: I can see myself third person walking down the aisel, looking at the man I love more than anything, and he is there at the end smiling back at me. The next picture is us looking into each other's eyes and saying "I do" to the preist and saying "I do forever" to each other.

Yeah, I want the big dress; yeah I want the beautiful bright sunny day, yeah I want flowers everywhere, yeah I want a cake bigger than me. But you know what? I want the big wedding so one day I can look back on it when I'm 90, and hold my lover's hand and say "Do you remember?" and he'll say "Yes, I remember."

When I think of marriage, I see myself third person with our baby in my arms, my husband at my side, happier than you can imagine, and the knowledge that I made the right choice. I have found my eternal partner.

Answer 6

Seriously I want the marriage and the wedding can go s***w it self. You have NO idea how stressful planning a wedding is. 30 people have 30 different ideas, people calling you all hours of the day giving you advice and bugging the h**l out of you. You have a pissed of bridesmaid or a god for saking annoying in laws and nosy neighbors...I will pass. Marriage please...

Answer 7

LOL...I know a few women who wanted a wedding so bad that it seems like they didn't put near as much thought into choosing the guy they married.

I opted out of the big "fantasy" wedding, and instead we flew to Vegas, got married and had a great time! Got a bit of flack from friends and family, since the "expectation" is to do a big expensive wedding and reception. To me, all of that is a waste of money.

Answer 8

I actually never wanted to get married or have a wedding. Strangely enough, the men in my life have never understood this and I've been "fake" engaged twice. (Said yes to get them to stop proposing with no actual plans of getting hitched)

The man I'm with now proposed and I'm actually going to get married (so far). I'm good with the "fake engagement but he's not"  

Answer 9

My mother always stressed that there's a big difference between GETTING married and BEING married.  It's a lesson I paid attention to.  I didn't get married until I was 49, so obviously I didn't care if people thought there was something wrong with me, or pitied me.  I've always had plenty of self-confidence (thanks, Mom).  Anyone who gets married because they feel left out or pitied has bigger problems than a wedding.

Answer 10

I told my best friend a few months before I got engaged that "I just want to be married to my boyfriend".

Now we are engaged and I still just want to get the whole wedding over with and start our married life.  We're having the big, traditional wedding at my fiance's request.  I would gladly just do it right now if we could, but it's more than a year away.

None of my close friends are married or engaged, and my fiance and I went through a fire storm of pressure over Christmas from everyone (family and friends) because we had been dating for 3.5 years and he still hadn't proposed. But we both told everyone to shut-up and stop pressuring us, we would do it when we were ready.

I think there are a lot of girls (that I know personally) that want a wedding, and not really a marriage after that.  They just want to get to spend a ridiculous amount of money on silly things and wear a big fancy dress and be a bossy centre of attention for a day.  They get engaged because they pressure their boyfriends into it, so they have the beautiful ring to show off, but they have no idea what a real relationship, and "for better or worse" really means.

I DON'T want to be the centre of attention at my wedding.  I hate being the centre of attention!  Especially just because I'm getting married.  I know my family is excited for me, but I am the only one that needs to be excited about it, I would hate to boss people around (mom wear this, bridesmaid do your hair like this) just because I'm getting married.  It's all too much for me.

Answer 11

Hi,well i can only speak for me,had no intentions of getting married my hubby changed my mind.Has for a wedding I turned down a white one.I did my own it cost less than £100 & we had a fantastic day.

This month on the 18th we will have been married 36 years.

PS/ Think my sister loves weddings up to now she as had 4

last 1 lasted 4 weeks & it had all the trimmings.We are waiting for the 5th.She must be barmy.lol

Answer 12

for me...

i think the wedding would be the bonus,jst to think tht some1 wants to spend their life wih me,is bttr thn a wedding

Answer 13

Personally, the marriage means more to me than the wedding itself.  I'd go right to the courthouse tomorrow and skip all the wedding stuff if it still meant I could marry my man and live happily ever after with him.

I do think, however, that our culture places so much value and importance on the wedding itself that people get obsessed with wanting a wedding, without always fully committing themselves to the true meaning of marriage.  

Answer 14

There may be some women who are looking for a wedding, sure..

Personally, I went to the courthouse...a wedding was not important...marrying my husband WAS.

Answer 15

I would like to have a wedding, but that isn't the most important thing to me. Weddings are expensive and I would much rather go down to the JPs' office or to Vegas and get married than go into debt over a single day, where everything can go wrong.

Besides in going the cheap quick route I can have a better honeymoon and just have a reception later for my family.

Being with the man I love is the most important thing married or not.

Answer 16

Not so much. A few of my friends are married. A few are not. I don't have any qualms with either. I never had a "wedding dream" as a little girl and always said I would never get married. Then I met Mike and that changed. But do I feel like I NEED to get married to be accepted? No way! I really respect women who don't get married "just to get married" and I have very little respect for women who "trap" men with marriage (or babies for that matter...).

There's nothing wrong with being single. In fact, I pity more married people than single people lol...

Answer 17

Frankly, I think that a wedding is a really big price to pay to get married. And there's a lot of soul searching I've had to do, because of how society looks down on marriage and the roles I would be taking on, so I'd say that there's no real advantage if you're just worried about what people will think.

Answer 18

There will be some

I am the opposite. I want the marriage, the wedding is just that a wedding, the start of the marriage.

If for one reason or another I would have to forgo the whole wedding party etc but still get married, it would be find by me.

I admit a little disappointing as I just bought the fabric for my dress but that is less important than spending my life with my loved one

What other people think is of no concern to me.

Answer 19

I think it's the other way around: the commitment of marriage is the important thing, and the wedding is a bonus.  I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to have a blowout celebration for all your friends and family, to dress up and feel like king and queen for a day.  That doesn't negate the marriage itself, just starts it off with a bang.

To me, marriage is a beautiful affirmation of eternal love between the couple, and the promise of forever.  I've always wanted to marry my now-fiance (and now I am!) because I can't imagine spending my life without him.  All the wedding hooplah is just a fun day in our lives, and a way to share this joy with our loved ones.

Answer 20

For me a wedding is just a means to get married...the marriage and life after marriage has my main focus, not the 'hoop-de-do' around the ceremony.......some people place too much importance on the 'perfect wedding day'....I rather have a near perfect marriage.....and the heck what other people think about the simple, intimate celebration I chose second time around.....good luck.

Answer 21

Nah. This is too simplistic.  While I think it's true for a few women who obsess over the wedding with all the trimmings, its not true for the vast majority of women who are much more interested in the relationship.  For most of my friends, their MOM was the person who wanted the crazy wedding.

Answer 22

Personally, I am a fly to Las Vegas and just do it kinda gal,

I don't want a wedding..

So I'd have to say no..

My friends know me so they wouldn't think it strange at all...

Answer 23

i am a bride to be my wedding is in 29 days!!! personally i wish i could scrap the whole wedding thing cos all i want is to get married !!!

Answer 24

A lot of women only think about how spectacular their stupid wedding is going to be, and don't think about the marriage.  I'm not like that though, I don't want a wedding or a marriage.

Answer 25

Not really. If you have a wedding to please everyone else, then you aren't having it for the right reason. The wedding is just the beginning of a new marriage. When some has a baby people come around to see it and spend time with it. A wedding is much the same. Except it has to be paid for and carefully planned. If I eloped I would be just as happy as if I had the wedding. It's the marriage that is important. But I would like to have family and friends around to celebrate with us. That's the point of a wedding.

Answer 26

I think the opposite. I'd rather go to the courthouse than go through all the trouble of having a huge wedding.  

Answer 27

No. I want the man. I want my man. Everything else is a bonus.

Answer 28

Don't be silly.  All of us shallow women want more than just a wedding.  We want the tax break, half of our husband's income, cheap health insurance, and s*x on command.  We are stupid, shallow, and we worry constantly about what our friends think of us.  Why else would one get married?