Do young kittens remember emotional trauma until they're older?

Question

So my 4-5 weeks old male kitten got under my skin and I reacted angrily when he bit my toe out of play. I've had him for about 4 days now and he hasn't covered his poo in the litter box for the 2nd time. I took this as "kitten considers himself superior in the household" after doing some research and to be honest, I was answering his every beck and call because he's just a kitten! So I thought it was time to set the hierarchy straight.

So when he bit my foot, I growled loudly: "NO!" and pulled my foot away abruptly. He's real small and when he saw I meant business he ran to an instinctual hiding spot. I stormed towards him, grabbed him by the thick skin behind his neck like a mother would, and proceeded to toss him outside the door for a minute.

I realized that I had just completely terrified my kitten all because I thought I needed to establish that I was in charge. He came back in but was scared (of course) and it took a little while to gain his trust again. He wouldn't purr for a few minutes, hid under dressers, but eventually came out and let me pick him up. He's napping on my lap as I write this and I am trying to show him extra love.

Will an incident like this stay with him? I learned my lesson and I have to be softer and more patient with this one. I just hope he doesn't see me as a threatening ogre from now on...

Answer 1

I think he'll get over that.  That was upsetting but probably not traumatic.  

I think my girl cat is a bit mentally unbalanced from being ditched outside by some former owner and having probably several litters of kittens outside and as best we can tell, only one kitten survived until we found her and brought her in.  She was obviously a pet once but has really been through a lot since then.  Even after all that she is a very sweet pet and trusts us completely.  

I think they can remember, or at least continue to be affected by, traumatic events but I don't think what happened with you is that severe.  Just remember to handle him more carefully and calmly the next time(s) he steps out of line and everything should be fine.

edit - I must have missed the detail on his age - why did you get him so young?  unless you have his mother too or he was abandoned then you shouldn't get a kitten who is that young.  They have a lot to learn from mom and ideally should be with her until around 12 weeks of age.  Some of them do develop problems when they're taken from mom too soon.  Given his age, he will probably need even more patience than a kitten who was adopted older.

Answer 2

My sisters cat still hates me from when I chased her through the house.  But my sisters cat hates everybody.  Be nicer to your cat please.  

Answer 3

I have owned a few cats in my lifetime. In my experience, something that happens once or twice will not matter in the grand scheme of the cat's life. And honestly, it doesn't sound like you were very mean anyway. Mother cats can do worse. It's systematic actual abuse that stays with a cat. I rescued mine from the pound at a young age and now she's a senior cat and still has some issues.

I think the fact that you're worried about this indicates that you'll be a great cat owner.

Oh, and good luck establishing you're the one in charge with a cat :)Mine thinks it is her house and just allows my husband and I to live there.

Answer 4

Within a couple days of getting my cat, she jumped on my bed while I was in bed.  Because I wasn't totally used to having her around, it really startled me -- so I jumped -- with arms and legs flailing, and I ended up accidentally hitting her, knocking her off the bed rather violently.  (Poor thing!)  She immediately ran under the bed, scared out of her mind.  It took a while for me to get her out from under there and I made sure to give her lots of extra love for a while.  I was afraid I'd psychologically traumatized her, but it didn't take too long before she was wanting to cuddle up with me and show me that she loved me.  So I think that even though what you did might have been something that was traumatic for your cat at the time, as long as you don't do it again, the memory will fade and will be replaced by many happy experiences and memories.  The important thing here is that you seem to have enough sense to realize that what you did was wrong and you care enough to want to do the right thing.  Just remember -- you have a kitten and kittens love to play and explore and get into things, so you will have to have lots of patience.  If he goes after your toes (or any other body parts) again, just say "no" in a firm but not scary voice and pull away.  Believe me, to a kitten who wants to play with you, your withdrawal from him is punishment and he'll soon learn that his aggressiveness leads to that punishment.  Also, sometimes when I'm just petting my cat, she'll suddenly become playful and want to grab me with her front paws and bite (just to play), so I ALWAYS have a toy within reach to divert her attention away from me and onto the toy.  Now, as for the litter box issue -- your kitten isn't refusing to bury his waste to show dominance.  He's just a kitten and he doesn't know any better.  Litter box etiquette is actually one of the things he would have learned from his mother if he had stayed with her longer (as someone else stated, there's a reason that kittens shouldn't be taken from their mothers until they're 10 to 12 weeks old). But since you have him now, you'll have to do what would normally be done by his mother and teach him yourself.  Whenever he uses the litter box, move his paws for him until the litter is buried.  It won't take long for him to get the idea.   Also, if he chooses to use someplace other than the litter box to do his deed, pick it up or wipe it up with a paper towel and then place it in the litter box.  Take him to the litter box, let him sniff it and then move his paws for him to help him bury it.  

Hopefully, with some patience and lots of love, he'll turn out to be the perfect pet.

Answer 5

with time and love he will get over it and be the best cat ever!:) have fun with the little guy.Cats forgive way faster than humans.and most always over time let it go.

Answer 6

The cat will not hold a grudge.  Only humans have the neurological ability to do that.  

He was not needing to be put in his place - he was being a kitten that is exploring the world and pouncing and playing.  Patience is going to be the key now.  He may not be the same kitten any longer, be prepared for that, and remember the lesson it taught you.

When the kitten didn't cover up the litter, he wasn't doing that to punish you, he may have just forgot, or got distracted.  You should GENTLY take his paw and use it to cover up the waste, then praise him quietly.  When he bit you, you were correct by saying NO!  But not grabbing him "like a mother".  Mother cats use certain amount of pressure to discipline their kittens - we as humans can not duplicate it, and can end up hurting it.  When he pounced and bit your toe, he was doing what comes naturally to him and hunting and pouncing - he was not biting you because he was aggressive.

You learned a lesson on patience with a kitten.  Hopefully the kitten will forget about it and move on, but do not be surprised if he runs and hides or cowers if you get mad again.  Good luck with your new addition and remember the lessons you've learned on this experience.

Answer 7

Cats forgive... but I suggest you learn more about cats in the future. A cat biting your toe isn't a reason to freak out.. it's a kitten, kittens have an unholy interest in toes. I have had cats all my life and almost all of them have bitten my toes once or twice.. you don't need to blow a gasket over it, just move your foot away and get out a cat toy instead.

If the kitten isn't burying his p**p, it's probably because he doesn't know better.. show him how to dig in the litter box.  

Answer 8

I don't know what to say. normally I'd say that with love he'll get over it. But I have a cat whom I treated like this a couple of times when she was small, because I didn't want her to turn like my other cat who bites people. The result is that she is afraid of everyoneand doesn't cuddle with us any more. So my advice is that you shouldn't do that to her again. Once is not such a problem, I guess.  

Answer 9

You are BAD!

What a horrible way to treat a kitten..

Is this the way you are going to treat your kids.

He will probably not trust you now and avoid you... but they are really loving animals and will eventually allow you in.

IF YOU DON'T REPEAT this conduct!

Yelling NO and pulling your foot away...OK.... but THROWING him outside wasn't good.

You are really going to have to kiss up for a while.

Discipline your cat but don't have rages after it... not good for human or animal...

good luck

Answer 10

cats dont have long term memory and if you just love them and show them the ropes then everything will be fine

and the covering of the poo is just a kitten thing

he will learn as he gets older

Answer 11

i found a squirt gun the best way to 'control' cats/kittens...its not violetna nd i heat that they dont know you are doing it- just that it happens!