Do your childrens grandparents spend time with them?

Question

My mother-in-law never seems to want to spend time with my 3 year old. My other child is only 5 months so is still a little to young. She only works 20 hours a week and never takes my daughter anywhere or asks to spend time with her. I don't want to say anything to her about it because I don't want her to feel she HAS to spend time with her, I was just wondering if anyone else has the same problem.

Answer 1

Yes i am in the same situation whereas my inlaws dont seem to care about their grandkids. They used to work in London and literally only came down every other week to see them and when they did they would buy them off with presents. One year we had abit of a falling out and they never spoke to me for a good 4 years, missing out 4 years on my youngest daughters life and didnt even bother to tell us they had retired and gone to live somewhere else.

They would never come and spend christmas with us and when asked they would say they are working, they would rather work than see them.

I very lucky on my side of the family as my parents dot over their grandkids and they are very close to them but the side of my husbands his parents just dont care about them at all and the sad thing is that its their only two grandkids as they only have one son.

Its very hard and fustrating at times as you think to yourself its your grandkids you should at least want to spend time with them, for the life of me I cant understand why my inlaws would rather work than see their grandkids, unfortuately some people have a different piorities in life.

Answer 2

Well if she doesn't want to I don't see why you would expect her to. She's already raised her children and so is letting you raise yours.

Many grandparents do spend a lot of time with their grandkids, and thats fine too, but it's their choice.

Answer 3

Our 6 month old goes to my parents house on some weekends and my inlaws come and pick him up on other weekends..They've been involved since day one and we wouldn't have it any other way :)

My husband and I love breaks!

Answer 4

Yes a little too much, I have to tell my mom to give her back, but my husbands mom no not at all..

Answer 5

My mom is kind of like your MIL. The once or twice a year I ask her to babysit she responds something like "Oh, I don't know- I have to check my schedule." (When I know she's not doing anything.) I get the same feeling from my mom- that she's raised her kids and doesn't want to deal with them. It's sad for my son and infuriating to me to be honest. I'm so jealous of my friends who complain about how their kids grandparents want to take them every weekend. I feel like it's insulting to my son. =[

Answer 6

Yes, my wife's parents are great in that regard.

Answer 7

My daughters Grandma picks them up every other weekend to spend time at her house (winter) or camping (spring, summer and fall).  I would talk to your MIL, maybe she is worried she would be stepping on your toes...maybe, but then again I don't know that woman.

Answer 8

invite HER over to your house and plan some games for the family so that your daughter can spend time with her. YOU take the first step and maybe that will help.

Good luck and hope this helps!!!

Answer 9

Well im a granny and I spend loads of time with my grandchildren

Perhaps your mother-in-law feels she might be interfering and is waiting for you to invovle her more.

Ask her to come to the swing park with you and the children and then gradualy invovle her more.

Good Luck :)

Answer 10

My stepson spends time with both grandmothers but both grandfathers live out of the country so he only sees them when they visit every now and then.  My mother spends as much time as possible with ALL her grandkids.  They bring her joy in her retirement years.

Answer 11

nope.. infact im the one trying to make excuses to get away from my nan...

lol :3

Answer 12

when my daughter was that age. It seemed like my mother, her grandmother never had time for her. It bothered me but I never said anything. My daughter and I did alot of stuff together by ourselves. And my mom started to see what she was missing out on. I don't know your situation, but give her some time. She may come around.

Answer 13

What do you see as a problem?

Some people are just not 'grandparent' types, they work they have lives and they are younger than most from a bygone era. They don't sit in the house retired, puttering in the garden or making cookies waiting for visits.

Of course, it does depend on the distance, my grandparents never spent time with me.  I only spent one week at my Dad's mom house in the country (I was 16 years old) and my other cousins went every summer.  My mom's folks were elderly and had no room for me, they also didn't drive a car and always had a hard time getting around.

My granddaugher lives about 2000 miles away and we see her once or twice a year when her Mom brings her around.

I am not the type that travels and my guy still works for a living so vacations are not often around here.

I send cards/money and occasionally talk to her on the phone that seems to be enough for them.

Answer 14

Well my kids are grown up now but my mom used to drop by and take them shopping all the time and have them over to spend the night.

But their other grandparents didn't invite them over much, and expected us to bring them over I think.  

It's just how people are, sometimes you have to initiate it and if hints aren't working you have to be more obvious.  

Now my kids only have one grandparent left and when they come around I tell them they should go visit their grandma and they do, even for a little while.  They lost 2 of their grandparents within a year and a half of each other so they now know how precious they are.

Invite the grandparents over for dinner a couple times a month so they get to know the kids.

Answer 15

mom side:

grandma:yes

grandpa:no

dad side:

grandma:no

grandpa:no

y???

its a sad story.....

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 16

I'm very sorry to hear about that, and I can't imagine why it would be, as it sounds as if you have a great kid.

I've been fortunate. I get to spend a lot of time with my grandparents. I have more memories from when I was very young that take place at my Mem's house or my cousin's house than I do at my own home. My Mem lives about 45 minutes away.

I don't see my other grandparents as often, as they are around an hour and a half away, but I still get plenty of time with them. Last summer my sister and I spent a weekend at their house.

Answer 17

idk

Answer 18

Hard to say... maybe she's trying to be a "good" mother in law by only doing what you ask of her and not being stereotypical, intrusive or obnoxious and now it's the opposite, you feel she's not interested.

Perhaps you could have your husband ask her if she'd LIKE to spend some more quality time with the kids, or does she feel like she's getting enough?  That would gauge where she stands.

If you are offering to send the kids over, and she is saying, No, then she probably isn't interested in being Mom #2 all over again.  Maybe she didn't enjoy raising kids?

If you aren't offering, try it and watch her reaction!

Answer 19

Does your mother-in-law spend time with her daughter?  Not all grandparents will volunteer to take the babies, she might be afraid of rejection, or maybe she'd rather spend time with the whole family. Your wife should take the children there to play with grandma, so a bond can be started.  Don't force it.

Some Grandparents aren't the babysitting type.

Answer 20

Yes every day almost my Pix and Samantha get to spend time with them and recently their great gand parents and great great grandma

Answer 21

neither of the grandparents on either of my daughters side take her or ask to see her...my mom will on a very slim ocation, and my grandparents see her more and help me with watching her, but yea the grandparent thing isnt really working out to well for her

Answer 22

Well, i can answer that. Im 15 and my grandparents never spend time with me and my siblings.

I look at other kids who see them all the time, and they get them gifts and stuff, and i wonder why my grandparents never spend time with us.

oh well :)

not too fussed.

Answer 23

Yes, we dealt with that from both my husbands, as well as my parents. They are total trash, and no longer in our lives. They had 2 years of chances with our daughter before we said enough. Never met our son, and won't meet our new baby either.

Answer 24

my parents do spend some time with them but they really didn't until the were around 7 yrs of age and alittle less dependent on them. Now each kid spends a week alone with them during the summer. I have 4 kids. it sure helps me out only have 3 at a time off and on all summer. It could be she has a hard time relating to her at this age and would like to wait until she is older where they can do more things together.

Answer 25

i spend every day with my grandmother. i have since well birth. im not sure what the problem could be. try talking it out.