Do your parents always compare you with their friends' kids?

Question

Salaam! And Happy Ramadan!

I don't know about other cultures, but I know for a FACT that this is always the case for Desis. Everytime my family goes out to another Aunty and Uncle's house or ppl come over, my mom starts to say how great and wonderful and smart their kids are and makes me feel small.

I just keep biting my lip so what I'm actually thinking doesn't come out of my mouth.

What do you do in these cases, fellow Desis and ppl of other cultures?

Answer 1

omg all the time

Answer 2

hah, my parents used to when iw as younger......but the thing is, they only mention their good attributes.  

They'll pick and choose all the good attributes from all the different people and make 1 super human being to compare me to.  

I let them know i really didn't care.  

I'm indian by blood, but not by culture......country my parents came from was a mixed african indian culture with hints of euro and asian.  

***

To add though, its sorta a good approach i think.....sorta.  

We always fall short, so set the standard high and we'll fall short of greatness.    Set it at where we are expected to perform....well we'll fall short of that ...end up living in an alley selling tricks for a growing crack addiction.

Answer 3

All the time.

I could care less now. I respect my parents, I do but I can't say that I love them like other kids do. Not when they make me feel worse every second of every day of my life.

I dunno =/ Desi parents are just different.

Answer 4

i tell my mom about things that i have in my personality and nature and my girl friends dont .....n then i ask her to Thank Allah ^_^

Answer 5

Yeah she used to when i was 15 or 16 and younger than that. I bite my lip and let her finish, it would always make me so sad but i promised myself i would never do that to my kids.

Answer 6

omg yes, ur desi's parents r soo annoying! its always like so and so did this why cant u do it? so and so's kid did that why cnt u be like them and become a doctor or a lawyer or mechanical engineer. im always telling them im my own person and I AM ur kid not THEM!! they really need to be a taught a lesson on comparing!

Answer 7

omg...are we desis that predictable!? YES. my parents do it 24/7. bla bla bla...!! it drives me insanse. they never really seem to share good things about my siblings and i to others when others (also desis) do. its really unfair. they compare me to friends children who are all 3 or 4 years older. its completely on unfair grounds. and yep, i do the same. i keep my thoughts inside!! i hope, that when i am a parent, insha'allah, i wont belittle my children in this way.

the users above me are right. desi parents ARE different in that sense. and they also compare me to my cousins!! same age. as hydrohillic said, instead of letting us become good friends with other children, they turn it into a huge competition, just for their own pride and to boast about their kids. i think that is so wrong!! >=[ im used to it now tho!

ramadan mubarak.

Answer 8

they ALWAYS do that!!

omg!

Answer 9

Well my parents USed to compare when i was Young now they dont ! And seriously I think that Is kinda Rude and Disrespectful to ur Own Children !

Answer 10

omg the same thing with me my mom she always does that she says things like so and so fast the whole month and she gets me angry like shes not happy with me and btw im also a muslim

Answer 11

Never, and i would not do that to my children, it will put down their confidence and believing in themselves, and lose the trust of his parents believing in his individuality

Answer 12

Yep, my parents compare "us" to all the other "kids" they know, including my cousins! Its like there is a giant competition about who is the best parent, going on in their heads.  

Answer 13

my parents always do that i just get up and leave i shouldnt always have to be put down like that

Answer 14

that barely happens and the one who does it is none other than my mom.......

Answer 15

well, I could never live up to my moms expectations, but my mom insisted my friend marissa could. My dad always bragged about me to other people and talked me up like I was something sensational though,  so I guess there was balance....

Answer 16

Yeah Lo...my mum does it all the tym....but i think its to encourage me to do better...Also when any1 of her friends come over i always here her saying good things about me!!!...So i know in real she does admire me and love me all the same...she knows that i have am independant and can look after myself...so my parents trust me alhamdulillah and i would never do anything to break their trust in me!!

Answer 17

no , they dont do that..

always love and peace..