Doctor thinks my daughter is developmentally challenged???

Question

This is frustrating! Anyway, my daughter is very smart, and either on target or ahead of average developmental goals for her age (2). Except for one tiny thing... she calls our cats "meow meows." Now, I never thought this was a problem, because I'm the one who TAUGHT her to call them meow meows rather than cats. It is just a cutesy nickname that I have used for them since before she was even born. We have two cats, and although both have names, we very rarely use their names, and we ALL call them meow meows. I can't remember the last time I have verbalized in front of her that they are CATS. Well my daughter's physician picked up on the fact that she calls our cats meow meows rather than cats, and now she thinks she is developmentally challenged. He spoke to me about it, and I tried to explain why she is calling them that, but he wouldn't listen, he said I was being defensive, and that I shouldn't take offense if my daughter has a developmental issue. He said she needs more testing (more money!!!) because it is a sign of a developmental disorder maybe autism and I probably need therapy to deal with my issues over this (!!!). I'm very frustrated because I think he's making a huge deal over one cutesy nickname, and that a lot of kids have cutesy nicknames for things (bottles, blankets, pillows, whatever, right?), and he wouldn't listen to me when I tried to explain that I was with her 24/7, and that I 100% did not think there was an issue. Do you think I should switch doctors? He wants all of these developmental tests done on her, just because she calls our cats "meow meows." Heck, I taught it to her, because I say it just as a cute nickname, and I'm an adult! Does he think I am developmentally challenged too? Would you switch doctors over this?

Answer 1

You DON'T HAVE to do any more testing. He can't make you.

I would switch, that is annoying.  

Answer 2

My daughter is almost 3 and she still calls cats "meow, meow" I don't even correct her because I love when she says it.I think that your daughter's doctor needs some testing not her. Switch the doctor.

Answer 3

Definitely switch doctors.

Answer 4

To be the best parent for your child, I think you need to know more about why the MD wants testing done.  Is the cat name issue the Only reason he is concerned?  Can he tell you some other concerns he has that indicate testing would be wise? If he has several concerns, get a second opinion, then decide about testing.  

The point is, if there is a developmental issue, early diagnosis is critical to help the child grow as well as possible.

No parent wants to think about developmental problems for their child and I'm sure your MD does have parents in his practice who are defensive when he tries to talk about problems with them.  You are probably right, going with what you've said, but if he wasn't focused only on the cat name, give some more thought to what he said.

Answer 5

OK. here is what you do. take your daughter to early intervention. they will do all the appropriate tests (for free) and tell you if there is something to be concerned about. If your daughter is fine they will let you know AND they can write something up to SHOW your doctor that she is fine. If by chance there is something wrong (probably not) they can hook you up with free therapy.

At that time I would get copies of her charts and go to a new doctor who is not so quick to cry "developmental delay".

I can see how he would try to tell you that you are in denial...my husband had trouble dealing with my son's speech delay. he was adamant that he did not want his son to be signing. I disagreed and taught him. within a few weeks hubby had to eat his words and admit that it helped. he did not have to be so mean to you about it though. I had the opposite problem...my doctor wanted me to just wait and my son would catch up. he was not catching up though. at 27 months old he only said 10 words. I personally took him to early intervention and got him screened. I KNEW that he had a delay and that it was a problem. they helped me get the proper treatment for him and it did not cost me anything

Answer 6

That is ridiculous! I would definitely switch doctors. He probably just wants more money. Is he older? Maybe he is losing it. Maybe HE needs some competency tests done.  

Answer 7

I have an Autistic son. And NO to call Meow Meows to a cat isn't a sign of Autism. Actually, your girl is 2 & she is talking, so she may not be autistic at all. Autism affect communication & social interaction... Now, children with Autism are very smart... Any way... If you want to prove him wrong, just call Early Intervention. This is a government agency that works with children under 3. They go into your house & get your daughter evaluated by a group of therapist & developmental specialist. The evaluation is completely FREE... Or just. switch your Dr....  

Answer 8

I would definitely switch doctors thats ridiculous!!!

Answer 9

That's bull s***!! Yes switch doctors

Answer 10

I think that is ridiculous!!

I'm not sure If I would switch doctors, but definitely do not get the tests done! That is a waste if money especially since you know your daughter is not challenged!!

Everybody has a cute nickname for something, so your doctor must have had a messed up childhood!!

Answer 11

yes, time for a new doctor.  you need one that listens to you.  my youngest is 13 and still calls cardinals (the red birds) red jays.  he made this up on his own at age two because he knew the blue ones were blue jays.  

Answer 12

Um...okay? My 20 month old calls cow's "Moo's" and she is talking better than some 2 year olds. She definitely isn't developmentally challenged.

I would SO change doctors. That's ridiculous. And then the fact that he told you that you needed therapy because you were explaining that YOU were the one who taught her to call a cat that....I'm speechless. And outraged for you...LOL.

If you need validation, then tell him you're getting a second opinion. And when the next doctor tells you that your former doctor was a moron, say "Can I get that in writing....."  :)

Answer 13

My son is 3 and we have funny names for alot of things!  That's so not a sign of developmental disabilities...

Each child with autism can be completely different, but several more common signs of autism are; stimming (it can be flapping hands or obsessivness, rocking, twirling, biting fingers...) at a particular item of the movement of an item (lights flashing, a toy moving).  They can also be abnormally sensitive to certain sounds or lights or touch.  They rarely make eye contact, may not respond to their name, refer to themselves by name instead of "I" or "me".  They usually don't relate or have interest in children their own age, but will speak to adults as though they are on the same level.

So, if you're not familiar with autism, there are some key points to look for.  I don't know if it warrents a change in doctor - you are the mother and can say no to whatever you want.  I would ask whatever signs point your doctor towards a concern in autism, and if he doesnt' have one, say you will keep an eye on it, but at this point it is not a concern.  Otherwise, tell your doctor that you would like to seek a second opinion.  It's always nice to have a doctor that  you trust, but it's also nice to have one that has been with you for a while and knows your family history, so if you don't have to switch, that would be nice for you.

Answer 14

I had similar issues with my son...he was about five at the time and would reverse some of his sounds when he spoke...such as push was puss and he would reverse f with p so you can imagine what some of the words came out as....think of f in the word fish being changed to a p and sh being changed with s and you come out with.....(p**s).? and the teachers, the school counselling office, etc. thought he should have speech therapy.  I used my second intuition and refused to have it done.  I felt the psychological effects would be more harmful than the supposed speech impediment, especially if his friends found out that he was in therapy.   I stuck to my guns and do you know what?.....he was the smartest kid in class and just passed grade 12 this year with a 96% average...second highest in his graduating class and there is no trace of his so called speech impediment and hasn't been for probably eight years.  It was developmental only as I believe your child's is.  But, you have to look at the overall picture and only you can do that, not your doctor, his daycare giver, or anyone else.  I suggest you stick to your gut feelings because they are probably right.  Meow, Meow is not a serious issue!!  However, I also preach do not teach your child the secondary names until they have learned the correct name first.  This way, they learn the right names first and don't have to relearn the language.  I didn't switch schools over this, so my advice is, if you are happy with your doctor in all other aspects, then don't trade him in, just stay wary and focus on what you think is correct for your child and make sure that you make the final decision on your child's future.

Answer 15

SWITCH DOCTORS NOW.  How is that a sign of developmental delays?  My daughter also calls cats "meow meows."  I accidentally taught her that too.  I think it's a load of bullsh*t.  Not only should you switch doctors, but you should file a complaint on that doctor.

Answer 16

I don't think your daughter has any issues. For the longest time, my son called all dogs Boo (the name of our dog) I probably wouldn't switch doctors over that, I mean, you don't have to have her do the tests, he can't make you. But my suggestion that if there are other problems or you feel uncomfortable with your current doctor, then switch doctors.

Answer 17

yes change doctors that is ridiculous..i would not take my child back to him..my 2 year old niece calls dogs "wow wows" and i call cats "kit cats" and "kitter cats" to my 11 month old daughter there is nothing wrong with using nick names for things..i would be just as frustrated as you especially when he would not listen to you even for a second..if he did think you were in denial he still should have listened to you not just try to tell you what he thought it should have been a discussion

Answer 18

I personally would take my child for a second opinion had any doctor refused to listen to me - especially over an issue such as this.  Seek that second opinion and change doctors if you feel you must - but fight for what you know to be best for your child.  At 2 years of age, still calling something by a cutesy nick name isn't a problem ... technically, calling it by that name isn't a problem at any age provided your child knows what it really is.  I personally think your doctor is out of line - jmo.

Blessings

Answer 19

there are early intervention programs that do testing for free.

call your local dept of social services.

no need to be defensive ..have her tested and get some answers.

Answer 20

I would definitely switch doctors.  It is ridiculous to assume someone has a developmental issue simply due to one word.  If your current doctor has an issue with you moving your child, simply tell him that you feel that he did not respect you as a mother and that you are going to get a second opinion from a doctor who respects you move.  If your child only uses meow meows for cats and calls all other animals (and things) by the correct name then you do not need to be worried.  Your doctor seemingly doesn't understand that children learn language from their parents and that if the cats are called meow meows at home that is what the child will call them.  My friend called spaghetti sketetti for years (like until 5-6 grade) because that's what she first called it and her mother thought it was cute and continued using it.  My friend is now a secondary school teacher - no developmental issues there.  Good luck finding a better doctor!!

Answer 21

I say tell him that your daughter is not showing any symptoms of being developmentally challenged and that if some develop, you'll have her tested. Make it clear you won't have her tested. If he can't leave it alone, it might be worth switching doctors.

Answer 22

Get a second opinion.

Answer 23

Never, but NEVER let someone make you second guess your self as a (good/great) mom! YOU are absolutely right, YOU know YOUR child. Is it worth it to NOW go and have a second opinion? Maybe. Just to quash any doubts you have now because of him.

I have been where you are. The ER doc told me i was just going to put my 3 YO through an "unneeded traumatic"event. He made me second guess myself and my WONDERFUL Pediatric doc. Her doc and i had communicated over the course of three days when my little one had Strep this past Christmas. She got dehydrated. (If her patients dont urinate for 8-10 hours she takes that very seriously.) She instructed me to take Sarah to the ER, where the doc on duty dissagreed and said I was going to traumatize her. It was a needle stick (for IV Fluids), kids hate that, i know this. BUT, i also KNOW MY CHILD. She didnt even move when the stuck her, she was to weak to even fight. She is always the one that is picking everything she sees up and asking, what's this? How does it work? Can i try it? and on and on...I'm fond of saying she's going to outsmart me by second grade!!! I digress...

Point is, thank God i had my docs personal cell #. I called her and handed my phone to the ER doc...he had nothing to say ... she did all the talking...he handed the phone back to me and left the room without a word. THe nursing staff was in within 2 miutes to hook her up. She got the fluid she needed and i learned a vaulable lesson too. THat was of course, dont second guess yourself.

By the by... my 4 yo has an imagination that wont quit! SHe call's all animals by their name and/or sounds too! AND she speaks two languages...three if you count ASL (American Sign Language)...Hope my ramblings help! Good luck to ya'll!

Answer 24

Sounds like you need to switch doctors!! There is nothing wrong with her at all! If anything she is above her age in speaking!

Answer 25

Definitely get a second opinion! That is the most ridiculous story I've ever heard! My daughter called our cat KeeKee. Now at the age of three, she realizes that its a cat. The name stuck for our cat though, and now we all call her KeeKee.