Question:

Does Accepting A No Actually Help?

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I am a thirteen year old girl and whenever I am at a friends house and everyone else can stay later my mother always says no. At least for five times within the last month whenever I am with a group of four or more I have to leave early because my parents would rather have me home. the reason is I want you home. My room is almost always clean and in 7th grade I particapated in accelerated classes, which means you learn two years of classes for every subject in a single year. I am continuing this program in 8th grade and this year will be taking mostly college level classes. I volunteer with my friend at the local church four day or of seven as a camp counselor and this is my second year doing so. I exceed in passing all classes, earning over a 90 in every single one. I have one sister a year younger than me and she gets to do everything a year earlier than I do. I have another that is going into fourth grade and gets everything she wants. For example I got my cell phone when I was in fifth grade because I was biking up and down my long dead end street to keep in touch with my mother and talk to her during my extra curricluar activites, such as dram club, with I have done for the past two years, getting a supportive role. Anyways, my sister got hers when she was in fouth grade, and the youngest two years later in third grade. Another example is when I was much younger I slept in my mothers bed but was kicked out when I was in kindergarten. My other sister was never really kicked out, she frequently still sleeps in there, even though my kother bought her the exact same mattress. The youngest is still sleeping there every night, even when my mother is working nights forcing my dad to go in there. She is almost ten. Double what I was when I was kicked out. My town is really more like a village because it is really small. I have only walked there with multiple people five times, pretty much all of them with my younger sister. In sixth grade I was never allowed to walk into town, but she has been. Anyways, I usually have to call my parents when I would like to stay later and beg since I am the only one that has to leave or if we are at my house which is like once every three months because my parents still consider me like a child and that they have to watch my friends, they all have to be gone with in three hours of when they stay. Today all the camp counselors were supposed to go to a local amusement park which is like twenty minutes away and is rarely crowded, with camp staff for free as a reward for our work. It was cancelled because of strange weather conditions but it turned sunny and nic eout like an hour after they annouced the news. Instead we went bowling for half the time we were supposed to go to the amusement park for. it was ridulous and even though it wasnt as bad as I thought it would be, it wasnt very amusing. More like childish and pathetic since in two hours we could only play two games in groups of four. I had to pay for the last game and when we didnt finish, my dad arrived early to pick me and my friend up. And he was screaming about how we had to go and couldnt finish the stupid game up. My friends an I decided we should just go to the amusement park with ourselves the next day but my mom said no. So I called my dad to see his persceptive and he was like oh yeah sure, but when he heard my moms perspective he changed his mind. Whenever I ask for something I usually end up getting a no. AN complain for five minutes and call back in a hour, but this time I realllllly realllly wanted to go! Four other girls my age are going to be there plus my friend's cousin who is 17 and his three friend who are also vollunteer s at the camp and I have met within the past three weeks. I am very responsible for my age and I dont do stupid things, like kissing random guys or going out with a new guy every month. I have had only three boyfriends in th epast three years and it was nothing serious at all. So if I just accept the no next time will it increase my chances of eventually getting a yes? I havent had a sleepover with my friend(s). Since October at someone else house. I babysit three different families frequently. One with three kids, One with four, And one with five. And I have over fiftey dollars saved up. So please respond. After writing all this I think I should get a therapist or something. My dad has anger issuses and sees one. I asked him about the amusement pak and he refuses to let me go, still after asking once and then on the way home explaining about my friends cousin and then writing a letter. Is my dad out of control or what ?

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6 ANSWERS


  1. Whoa..You can't always get everything you want...You have to realize that there are so many people who would love to be in your place.


  2. You need to get over yourself. I have 9 siblings so we share a lot of stuff. For example, One of my older sisters and I share a cell phone. And three of us share this computer. I share my room with three sisters. Why would you want to sleep in your mother's bed anyway? You say you don't do stupid things for your age but you sound way younger than I was when I was thirteen. Life isn't fair and It probably never will be. And no your dad is not out of control. If anyone is it would be you.

  3. all i can say is it sucks to be the oldest child of three. bide ur time. when u turn 17 u won't be there u'll be at college. so just keep it up! as far as ur friends go if they r good friends they won't say keep asking. trust me that doesn't work, it just makes ur folks madder. ur peeps will only do that once or twice b4 ur parents threaten to call their parents and get them grounded. ur parents r, believe it or not, looking out for you more than ur younger sisters. there r things u get to do that ur sisters don't, don't see now but will when ur in ur 20's. hang in there kiddo!

  4. Tell them. Calmly tell them that you don't think it is fair. If they yell at you for telling them the truth. Simply say, "Okay, but may you please think about it?" Even if they say no, there will be discussions between them. Be patient and agree. This will make you seem mature. Once my mom said no for my friend spending the night, but after calmly accepting it, she let her because I didn't act out.

  5. You're only 13. You shouldn't be doing things by yourself anyway. You're complaining because you got a cell phone in 5th grade? You sound spoiled. Your parents are being parents and are doing what's best for you. You're not out kissing random boys because you're home at a reasonable hour. Nobody sounds out of control. You're lucky you get to do things. Some parents don't allow their children to do anything at all.

    By the way, when one parent says no, it doesn't give you the right to go behind their back and ask the other parent. Your dad had every right to change his mind after finding out your mother already said no.

  6. Well sometimes I think my parents are out of control, but they really try to do what's best for me and they always end up right.  You seem like a very smart and dedicated person, so just keep up with that and good things will happen in your life.  You'll be successful unlike the other people who get pregnant at 16, because they left the house and drank all night and made out with who knows how many guys.  Your better than that, and your parents know that so just accept the no's and once you get older and your parents know your responsible enough, they will let you have more freedom.  I know it's hard having old fashion and sometimes mean parents, but you just have to listen to them, and do what they ask and it will all pay off, trust me!  Good luck=)

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