Does God not want me to get married to him?? what do the signs mean???

Question

so just recently we went to precana, and when they asked about stories where individuals felt god in their life, there were two stories that stood out to me:

#1- a guy just bought an engagement ring, lost his job, and two weeks later he had already found another job and was happy because he was freaking out how he would pay for the engagement ring and be able to get married

#2- this couple was from different states, and they were stressing where to live after the wedding. texas or illinois.

each didnt want to leave their family, so two weeks before the wedding, the groom2b found out his dad just got promoted and going to be relocated to ill, in the suburb right where she grew up. so now their problem was solved. she would be able to be close to her family and his family would be there too.

now read our story::

Answer 1

God works differently in everyone's lives, and as the stories illustrate, there are times when things work out just perfectly!  On the other hand, we are not God, nor can we predict how God is going to work.  Which means that we have to rely on common sense, which incidentally is a gift from God as our creator.  [For example, think of the billions of people on this earth who are suffering, some b/c of their own actions, and some b/c of the actions of others.  Obviously God is not taking every single situation and making miracles.  But the brain that he gave each of us to figure things out is a miracle in itself.]

So in your situation, you must think with common sense.  To be married, you must start out with two adults who can each support themselves (score: 0 out of 2).  You must have a certain level of maturity to make a marriage work - for example, the same type of maturity that would allow someone to be quite creative in getting a job, moving to a new location if that is required, being able to find a room for rent, going back to school to get better jobs.  It doesn't sound like either of you has any of those skills yet.  That's okay, it just means that you're not ready to get married yet.  You must also have a certain level of relationship maturity and social skills - in general, if you have tons of interviews and no one is accepting you (like your BF) there might be some growing up that needs to happen, that these interviewers are noticing, before marriage begins.  And on your behalf, you must learn to make decisions logically and not only emotionally, such that you will not hear a sermon and suddenly decide that perhaps the sermon is telling you to get married, when that was certainly not the point of the sermon at all.

It's not to say that you're not both really wonderful people, as I have no doubt that you both have wonderful futures ahead of you.  But marriage is incredibly complicated and difficult at times, and should not be attempted without a certain level of maturity and responsibility.  Neither one of you sounds emotionally or financially ready.  If you get married too soon, your lives will be incredibly stressful and your chances of staying married very low.  You may also have children (as presumably you will start having s*x), and I pray to God that you will not do this to an innocent child.  Children deserve to have two mature, financially stable parents who stay together.  It is cruel to have children before you are ready to be mature parents, just for your own satisfaction (sorry for the side tirade - it's just really important to me).

Please focus on your own personal growth and relationship with God, and put marriage waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay off!

Answer 2

There are always going to be obstacles in life!  Things don't always get resolved quickly or easily.  There will always be another challenge, and ongoing challenges.  Money is a big issue when you're trying to be independent or get married.  Make sure you both are more secure with job and money before you get married.  But if you're wondering if he's the one for you, ask yourself if he's respectful and kind?  How do you both resolve problems together?  Does he 'fight' nice?  Do you have things in common?  Does he support you when you're down?  What is the character of the man?  Money is an issue you can work through stepwise.  Character is something that reveals itself in time.  Don't rush into anything.  It's ok to take time to think it through for yourself.

Answer 3

good things happen to those who wait

Answer 4

Every couple has obstacles, and God doesn't necessarily drop a perfect solution into your lap. Remember the old chestnut - God helps those who help themselves.

If you love this man, you think he would be a good partner to you and a good father to your children (if you want them), if you share the same values and are committed to each other, and if you've prayed about the relationship and feel good about where you're headed, then all signs point to yes.

Personally, I think God speaks to us more in our hearts, in the way we feel about people or situations, than in external signs.

Answer 5

Maybe this is not the right time to get married. I'm not sure what you mean that you can't get a job due to "the far move in September." If you mean that you are going to move in September and this has prevented you from getting a job, then you need to look for seasonal work. Your local Park district, ice cream parlor, and movie theatre hire extra staff to work for the summer which is a busy time. As long as you are up front with your employer, you should be able to find something for the next month. If you work at a franchise, you might be able to find a job at the same company in your new town (e.g McDonalds, Walmart).

I take it that your fiancee is not a US citizen? If this is the case, it is going to be difficult for him to find work. He will need a company that is willing to sponsor him.

Did either of you attend college? If so, you can go to your alma mater's Career services office for assistance in getting employment. They can help you find a job that is a good fit and they can help you polish your resume and practice your interviewing skills.

If you didn't go to college is this a good time to start? Maybe you need to build your skills to be marketable.

Good luck!

Answer 6

God only gives us hardships that we ARE able to overcome.  He would never test you with a test you could not pass.

Getting through this will make your relationship stronger.

You two are not unlucky, you are stronger than the people in the first two stories you told.

Answer 7

You are in a bad position, but that doesn't mean you should be searching for signs. You are overly stressed, so it is coming out in this way. Take a deep breath. Do you love him? Does he love you? Are you two working to get out of the mess life has placed you? If all three were "yes," you have nothing to worry about. If you live with your parents, they can put you down as a dependent. That wouldn't be right, if you already help them out financially. The economic stimulus cheques were half of what were promised anyway. They do plan to issue another, but both cheques put the country in debt to China for billions of dollars. I digress. Is he moving to the this country, or are you two moving away? If you two are moving away, postpone it until you have better savings for a place. Even if that means one or two or three small jobs. How recent was your accident and how long is recovery? That could also factor into how long things are postponed.

Answer 8

Wait till you both are stable in all areas of your life.

All in God's timing no rush.

Answer 9

Married or not, if you guys are meant for each other you will stay together through thick and thin. God will not judge you if you don't get married when you're supposed to. Times are hard and we don't always get things our way. If both of you are deeply committed to each other and are willing to wait, then wait. It is best that you be practical in these trying times.