Does a child feel abandoned when a parent dies unexpectedly

Question

I was 13 when my father died from a sudden heart-attack in his sleep. I was the one that found him in the morning. The funeral came and went and I remember my mom and I not really talking about it. I have a really hard time with relationships and keeping a guy interested. I sometimes push away when things get too close for comfort. What's wrong with me?

Am I likely to be emotionally unavailable for my children someday because what happened to me at a young age?

Answer 1

grief takes different forms..relax and be kind to yourself..it takes time to move through grief..

Answer 2

Everyone who loses someone close will likely feel abandoned at some point. The problem comes when you don't acknowledge your feelings and work through them. Yes, this could be causing you to be afraid to commit. It could also cause you to look for a father figure rather than a peer.

Get some counseling. You'll be surprised how quickly you can work through this. Then you'll truly be able to move on.

Answer 3

I am sorry this happened to you, how devastating that must have been.

It could be that your afraid that if you love someone they will go away or you could be rejected. Your Dad passed away and didn't have a choice. He didn't abandon you on purpose, he was ill. Remember the people you want to get close to can and will dies someday, we all have to agree to that so your Dad passing wasn't anything that others haven't had to experience too. You can't stop living because your Dad did. Try to allow yourself to feel loved again. Life goes on and you have to too.