Does a partner have the right to say what happens to his life partner when she dies?

Question

My partner is dying and we have lived together for over 12 years... Presently she is in the hospital not expected to live.. and her mother who adopted her out many years ago is taking charge of all arrrangements when my loved one passes...

Do I have any rights at all...

Seeing that I don't have any money in these hard economic times.. I can'[t afford an attorney...

And now her biological mother has called the funeral home and wants my loved one disposed of quickly without any visitation...

Is there any recourse that I can take.?.

I would greatly appreciate whatever anyone can tell me.. It breaks my heart that I apparently have no power to do anything to say my last goodbyes

Thank you so much...

Answer 1

You have my heart felt sympathy right now.

IF your partner is conscious, can't you ask to to sign a inhospital will and make you the executor?  

If she's not conscious, I really don't think there's much you can do, but say your goodbyes, why she's still here.

Answer 2

I'm so sorry you're going through this.  Unfortunately, I don't think there is anything you can do right now, unless you can find an attorney who is willing to work pro-bono.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Life partner means very little in the legal realm. You are not considered as "next of kin", so you have no legal claim in what to decide is right in any of her matters. Only marriage could have solved that issue and trumped the parent's wishes. Especially if the partner left no will stating what her desires were in the matter.

Answer 4

if you are not married and there is no will; the family makes the arrangements.....my heart goes out to you....get a will drawn up quickly and have her sign it.....my prayers are with you  

Answer 5

Legally, it varies by state. If her biological mother put her up for adoption, she may no longer have any legal connection to her to make any type of decision whatsoever. In these types of matters, it's often the person who acts fastest who gets what they want, not the person who has legality on thier side. My brother in law died suddenly and his ex wife, who certainly had no legal right to do so, quickly had him cremated. His brothers and the rest of the family was very upset.

You can download documents online for much less than hiring a lawyer to draw up a quick will with her wishes. Then you just need to have her sign it in front of witnesses, who also sign it, possibly a notary, and take it to be filed at your local town hall. I'd ask the nurses at the hospital if the hospital has some kind of family service that can help you with a notary...many hospitals have people who are notaries on the side on staff.

Answer 6

You do but dont know how

Answer 7

Unless she has a will you are left out of everything.  You may find yourself with no furniture pretty soon.

I have a male friend who actually had his life partner pass away.  One morning the sheriff showed up with an eviction notice and the family seized all the furniture right down to the pots and pans.  Everything had been in the dead partner's name.

Answer 8

I agree with the first answer

Answer 9

she can sign a new will, but she has to do it in the presence of a notary who will attest to the fact that she is in her right mind.  If she is in the hospital, then I doubt anything she signs will have an validity.  You need to talk to her family, you need to ask them to allow you a say, if they don't, then you simply have no recourse.  In the eyes of the law, you have no rights where she is concerned if you never married.

Answer 10

Because she is paying for the expenses doesn't mean that you don't have the rights to see her. Were you married? If you were then you have rights, otherwise i think it would be a problem. Can't you find a city attorney or something. Maybe you can make an appointment with one and you can pay little by little. Call for an appointment, explain your situation with details and then he will tell you what you can do, etc...

Answer 11

I'm guessing since you are calling her your "life partner" that you were never married, which means her last known guardian (that being her adopted mother) would have full rights over this decision unless she has requested otherwise.

Answer 12

Have her sign a new will detailing exactly what she wants done and have her make you the executor.

k

Answer 13

Sorry, just re-read the question, but the answer is the same....If your life partner has a Will, then her wishes will be carried out, but if she doesn't, she will need to have one drawn up. If she isn't able to do that at this point, then I"m sorry to say you have no rights concerning her funeral, or any property without your name on it. I don't even think an attorney could help you at this point. In most states, if you aren't married (for whatever reason) you have no rights.

Answer 14

If she is still able- have her change her will to state what her wishes are with regard to burial and services. You may also have some pull if you record her saying what she wants on tape. Make sure she is not on mind altering medication when doing this or it may be useless. You may want to record her testimony several times - at different times. Then you at least have something to bring to court. The will is the best way to go though.

Sorry to hear. best wishes

Answer 15

That's the chance you take if a will is not in place or a couple are not married.

Nothing is stopping you from holding a memorial service among your mutually supportive family & friends, tho. Have it in your home with a cold buffet and lots of pixs of her about...sit, remember good times, relate happy/funny stories, and share a group prayer.....good luck.

Answer 16

she needs to make a will before she goes.

she can state in it what you 2 want done with her body and that you are the one to take care of it.