Does a person like me bring shame upon the independent women. Should I be ashamed?

Question

I am 18 and still live with my parents at the moment. I am not overly ambitious workwise although have a list of things I want to try and acomplish before I'm 30. I have been lucky in my life and have loving parents that are very sucessful. I don't see myself as mega academically intelligent (like my father who is a surgeon) but I'm not a blonde bimbo or anything. I don't drink or swear and try to be nice to everyone. I am quite sensitive and know I need to toughen up a bit. As far as guys go I like being looked after and treated like a lady and I always try to look nice.

I like the idea of growing up, meeting someone and falling in love, getting married and having children. Looking after my children and my husband (whilst still having a life of my own with my family etc.).

Should I have been born in the dark ages? Do I bring shame to the 'independent women'? I don't think women or men are above each other but I don't think we are equal. Why would women want to be the same as a man?

What do you think? Please don't say anything nasty. Thanks.

Answer 1

You're quite fortunate. Not all of us had parents that wanted to continue

supporting us after the age of 18...How nice for you.

Answer 2

Any "Independent Woman" who is offended by your choice needs to reexamine her claims to being an independent.  There is no shame in making this choice for yourself if that is what will make you happy and fulfill you personally.

After all, the true Feminist movement is about letting women make those choices for themselves, not having those choices made for them by society.  If traditional society isn't allowed to tell a woman to be a stay-at-home wife and mother, then pseudo-feminist society should also not be able to tell her that she must go out and get a career.

The Feminist Movement is about giving each individual woman the right to make her own choices.  Pseudo-Feminism is about swinging to the completely opposite extreme and forcing all women into a different role or ostracizing those who won't go into that role.

Answer 3

your too nice... wait a few years then get married and have kid's.. have a little of something to call your own, do what you like go travelling,don't rush into getting married and having kids to soon It would be a decision that you might regret in a few years. Enjoy life sweety  

Answer 4

Personally i think its time for you to grow up (not ment in a nasty way)

the worlds a cold place full of surprises, if your not ready now for the world then you will struggle to adapt in situations that you haven't experienced before.

I say go out live a little, get a job, meet new people, spend nights out ( don't have to drink to enjoy yourself), you will get your heart broken, you will fall out with people, but thats life toughen up.

As for being a stay at home wife, if thats what you want to do then theres nothing to be ashamed of, its your life no-one elses.

Answer 5

You are very lucky to have the home life you describe.  A lot of people both male and female would like to have two loving parents rather than the alternative.  You say you are 18, I presume you plan to go to college and do a degree or doctrate?  If you are, then choose a college that isn't near your family and this living away from home and looking after yourself will toughen you up and possibly open your eyes to the wider world.  It will be a good training session for what life in the big bad world will be like.  There's nothing wrong with what you want but get a life for yourself first and then think about those other things afterwards.

Answer 6

hello again!!!

No way are you independance is about choice, you live once do what  you want to do, iam working at the mo but when i get married i want to stay at home and look after my babys i also love been treated like a ladie

Answer 7

There is nothing wrong with those things - wanting a family. In fact the life you describe is lived, probably very happily by millions around the world.

I think the issue here is that you are free to choose.

If family is your thing then by all means great, but if business, politics, law or any other career orientated life is your goal you should also be able to choose that and not be at any disadvantage because of your gender.

Answer 8

The beauty of being in a free society means if you want to do that you can.

You may "bring shame" to the independent women, but it's nothing to be ashamed of. If you want be dependent you are therefore not an independent woman, as such (not meant in an insulting way).

If you want to be dependent and look after your children and husband then that is your choice. Live your life as you feel you should.

EDIT: I really liked the way you said "I don't think women or men are above each other but I don't think we are equal." It's a rather strange statement in that it's contradictory but it is very true.

Answer 9

No you should not be ashamed, all the love you give to your husband and children you will recieve back ten times over or more.  However, marriage and children is not the easy road, would you be mature enough to handle if you had a special needs child or marriage or financial trouble?

Answer 10

its up to you the way you live, don't worry about how people judge you for living your life, your 18 sweet heart your on the path to becoming a women it doesn't happen over night, some just grow up faster and some take their time figuring out exactly what they want for their life. baby girl i think your gonna be fine don't let people make you feel that you should be ashamed, you sound like any other 18 year old girl!!

your life is just beginning, now is the time that all the other girls are out having fun. there is probably a million other people out there who have something to be ashamed of , not that I'm passing judgment but I'm sure people are living way worse than u lol

just take life one day at a time and appreciate everything that you have cuz some people don't have anything.

Answer 11

ask that question again in another couple of years.

Answer 12

Live you own life honey