Does any one else have a problem trying to convince your partner....family friends that you want to be frugal?

Question

i really want to tighten back on everything....be a frugalista

but my parnter believes being a little easier with money is ok

i want to tighten down and live more free spirted and enjoy simpler things but my partner is holding me back being fully comited...

any tips or advice or maybe a website with people with similer problems

thanks x x x

Answer 1

LOL sometimes I think my hubby thinks money grows on trees.  He is always saying, Let's do this, let's buy this, we need this...I have been a saver since birth and nothing excites me more than seeing a statement of how much I've been able to put away.  Now, I sit down and make a budget for every month based upon what we spent last year, but add about 10-20% to each bill.  I write out the check to the utility, the cable, the credit card, etc. and pencil the amount in the checkbook. Once the bill acutally comes in, I correct the amount in the checkbook in ink.  When he looks at the checkbooks, he sees a balance that he "thinks" is in there and "thinks" is what we have left after paying all of our bills.  After all of the bills have been really paid, I take the "extra" money and put it in savings.  He stopped saying let's buy this, we need that, let's do this, after I saved enough to buy him a Mercedes, CASH, with my savings.  Sometimes actions speak louder than words because now he says, when we save enough to, when we have some extra money, and his creative brain works to do things with stuff we already have rather than buying something to get accomplished what he wants to do.

Answer 2

Try easing your partner into it.  A good example is buying some white vinegar and a empty spray bottle.  Use one part vinegar to 3 parts water in the bottle, and use that for cleaner.  When you run out of the store bought chemical junk, just don't get any more.  You won't need to with the vin water.  

Do little things, and try to get your partner involved with it too. It is not easy when they are not willing, though.  Caused quite a few big arguements with my boyfriend... and me being vegan on top of it didn't help... and we just broke up (really for other reasons, I promise) and are trying to just be friends.  

Start off compromising things, too.  Then maybe show your partner the benefits to your money saving ideas, like the help of the planet and other more fun or important things the money could be spent on (Wii's are fun, but quite pricey, but not so bad when you are saving money by using cloth napkins, old shirts for rags, and vinegar and baking soda for cleaning).  OR maybe the benefit could be using all that saved up money for an early retirement.  How great is that?  

It may take a bit of time, but I think that eventually things will work out.

Answer 3

maybe sit your partner down and say "can we try this?  i need your help.  we'll try things my way then your way."  relationships are all about give and take.  no idea if that helped at all.  LOL  but i tried.

Answer 4

Some people can't enjoy themselves without spending money or dreaming that they can spend money...

He Wishes For The Cloths Of Heaven by William Butler Yeats

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,

Enwrought with golden and silver light,

The blue and the dim and the dark cloths

Of night and light and the half-light,

I would spread the cloths under your feet:

But I, being poor, have only my dreams;

I have spread my dreams under your feet;

Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

Unfortunately in my experience the same people tend to be quite fragile so be nice about it "tread softly" and don't get argumentative whatever you do.

Answer 5

I came from an industry where I was making $350,000 a yr.  I was over-stressed, but could buy or do anything I wanted to.  My yoga teacher told me to start paring down, he said consistantly down-sizing is the key to his happiness>  Even though I could have whatever I wanted I started to downsize.  I sold a my home, 1 block from the beach in southern california at the heigth of the market.  I now rent a smaller home (at the beach).  I try to buy anything I can used.  I don't go shopping anymore - which really helped with my wellbeing.  Because not only am I outside and engaging in healthier activities now.  I don't have to find a place for all the "stuff" I would buy.  We have been paying down our credit cards and eat in all the time.  I took up cooking as a hobby, how fun!  I am sssoooo much happier with my simplier life - I quit my job of 20 yrs!! And my husband got out of his unhappy job and started a business making alternative fuel for cars!  AND, out of the blue I got pregnant for the 1st time - I am 45 yrs.  old.  Down-sizing, is the key to happiness.  Life just flows now.