Does anybody believe this societal expectation of women should exist?

Question

There is an expectation of men as one user put it

"but there's a social/cultural expectation for the man to be the one pandering to the woman in a relationship. (i.e he's expected to pay for dinners, buy her things, never forget her birthday, and just do everything he can to make HER happy)."

But the vice versa doesn't apply to women. Do you think it should? Will it one day ever apply to women?

Answer 1

I don't think it should exist for anyone. Both men and women should be expected to give a little, take a little, and do the rest themselves.

Answer 2

Who wrote that cite? And why do you think any sane person believes it? While growing up (I'm 55), I was taught that women deserve the respect to open doors, cater to their needs, lend an arm, and walk just behind and outside of them for protection.

Pandering? Not in my opinion. Reverence to the mothers of our race is more like. The bio function of Man is to feed and protect the tribe. And die trying. Some get to impregnate the women, but ALL will show respect!

Just so y'all know, my partner of 31 years has done her share in this venture every year!We are  team. And I still open doors. It's polite!

Answer 3

It already does apply to many couples that aren't stuck in rigid gender roles. I would never expect my partner to give me presents or pay for dinners or buy me things without my ricipocating-for one I love giving presents myself and I love making my partner happy. Isn't that what a partner should do regardless of gender? Most of the people I know think that way already. You're meeting the wrong people.

Answer 4

Some men seek the "poodle girls", the "traditional" weak and helpless daddy's girls with wants and expectations of being pampered and treated "like a lady" or a pet, who LIKES to have doors opened for her and can't open the widdle mayonnaise jar without a big strong man's help.  lol  That's what most men have expected from women until recently.  I mean, what do men expect when they think delicate hands and perfect nails on a girl makes them "attractive" when what it basically means is they've never gotten their hands dirty from hard work and instead of spending quality time with their men they're either doing their nails or protecting their nails?  It takes HOURS of preening and grooming for girls to look like attractive Barbi Doll s*x meat.  So, why then do the kind of guys who find flawlessly groomed perfectly anorexic Barbi Dolls attractive when all that time preening and dieting means they've never read a book, have no means whatsoever of getting into college or making more than minimum wage forever and intend to be financially dependent on a Prince Charming meal-ticket until death do they part or alimony and who fully intend to take two hours a day hogging the bathroom and whining for MORE stuff to preen with and MORE bathrooms and MORE clothes and BIGGER house for MORE bathrooms and divorces in order to marry RICHER men who can buy them MORE botox injections? lol

Some men, on the otherhand, seek women who are feminist, who see men as equals and who can carry their share of the load.  If men are only meeting the poodle girls, they are probably unconsciously or otherwise actively finding that type "attractive" and approach them or date them more often.  The sturdier a man's self-esteem and Self, the less likely he is to seek out poodle girls to stroke his ego or whatever to make him feel bigger, smarter, stronger in comparison. etc. Feminist strive to end the male entitlement paradigm in which females more typically are punished and oppressed into sacrificing and giving unconditionally for nothing in return.  Thanks to feminism, men and women have more choices these days about which "roles" they wish to assume.  Keep in mind, the exploited male or female actually creates the exploitation by playing, and possibly desiring to play, the role of the exploited doormat.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martyr_comp...

Answer 5

You don't think society expects anything of a woman in a relationship? You really haven't been paying attention have you?

1. Society expects a woman to remain virginal and innocent until she meets a guy that wants to have a serious relationship with. The guy of course is more than free to sew his wild oats with the town w***e, that's just him being a guy.

2. A woman is expected to stay thin, pretty and virtually hair-free--albeit without any external signs of efforts. In other words, we're supposed to get up at 5, work out for an hour, spend another hour doing hair and make-up, then pretend we just rolled out of bed looking that way. Men can be slightly overweight and hairy and it's quite normal, i.e: the Fred and Wilman Flintsone couple.

3. A woman should never be a golddigger. She should appreciate whatever her man gives her, wants to pay for or buy for her, but if she has any thoughts of having her own career she just might as well not bother. As soon as a baby enters the family, her job is to stay at home. But now if the husband controlls all the money because she has no job or credit to her name.

If the woman does work, she's still supposed to do the cooking, cleaning, shopping and childcare, even taking time of work to do these things because her career isn't as important as her huband's.

When it comes to aging, the guy can go grey, bald and sport a beer belly, but the woman has to dye her hair, use expensive beauty creams or even go as far as have plastic surgery otherwise she's seen as inadequate.

I could go on, but this is just a short example of the pressures woman face in relationships and in society. I find it quite sad that you're so blind to these things and think men are the only ones that have expectations.

Answer 6

It already does.  She boosts his fragile ego, bolstering it and remembering his birthday, cooking meals for him, meeting him at the door wrapped in saran wrap, dresses up in s**y lingerie (it's not for us) gives birth to his children....

The list goes on for both people, but somehow if you are in love, it's not so hard to buy things for that person, remember birthdays, and "pander" to the one you love to make them happy.  It seems like the thing you just want to naturally do.

Did I mention give birth to his children, say good-bye to your body and watch it expand like "Shamu."  I think that trumps buying dinner any day.

Answer 7

I don't know what society you're living in, but these expectations died out around twenty years ago or so in mine. And yes, dating life is quite enjoyable without such expectations.

Answer 8

When women and men make the same amount of money for the same job work etc...then yes we should buy men dinners too. Until then NOOOO!

As for making a man happy. Is the world not overpopulated and is that not a sure sign that women are making men happy? Hello men love s*x and it takes s*x to make a baby. As long as men get s*x they're ok at least last I checked that was the case.

Answer 9

good luck, the only expectation is that they shouldn't have one.

     The only way to bypass that selfish ideology is to follow the middle road of common courtesy.

     If a person doesn't follow that then it is easy to call them self serving drain on society without getting into a gender slug match.

          If anyone says you have to be respectful because of this and that tell them to shove it. Respect is earned.

    And why should we be respectful to people who would deny us our human rights?

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On a side note guy's who want an equal partner steer clear of them(feminists) and there idea of equality...