Does anyone's husband do this??

Question

I am currently 29 weeks pregnant with twins. I can't get any sleep and I have a lot of aches and pains. It is hard for me to even take a bath myself. Anytime I tell my husband what I am feeling or that I didn't sleep, he has to say he didn't sleep, or that something on him is hurting. I know darn good and well he slept good, I was watching him snore. Why do men do this? Anyone else experience this? He is really making me start to hate him more and more. Why can't I get a little compassion? I ask him to rub my back or something and it's like I am bothering him. The back rub lasts about a few minutes only and he does it so hard that it hurts. Also I ask him for help to do things around the house and he says that he needs to do something. For example last night I needed help getting out of the tub. Asked him for help, said to let him do a few things. I got myself out of the tub after waiting so long, only to find him on the computer. What is his problem?

Answer 1

he probably thinks that he is better than you and do his stuff on his own. like he could someone more better than you. you need to talk to him.

Answer 2

i'd threaten to leave him! He can show u a little sympathy and u are carrying his children!!! do u get along with his mother? if so maybe u should talk to her about it. And if hes anything like my hubby he'll listen to mommy. but if not, its about time to let those pregnancy hormones rise and turn into anger!!! bc that pisses me off just hearin u say that. my hubby wasnt like that at all! he was opposite and i was the Complain Queen! If my legs started crampin in the mid of night, id wake him up and he'd rub them until i fell asleep or told him they were better. if hes not goin to help u out now, he def. aint goin to when ur twins get here.  Maybe hes scared, but he needs to get over it and be supportive of u. you're the one about to give birth not him and u are already goin to be the primary caregiver im sure. If he doesnt straighten up, it might be time to let him kno u aren't  nothing and u can leave him if he doesnt plan to help. even if u dont really mean u'll leave him, it might do some good to let him think that u could. some men just need that fear to change.

good luck

Answer 3

I'm sorry, but what an ***.  It's hard enough being pregnant, but especially with twins.  My ex-husband was like that, but worse.  He'd stay out all hours of the night while I'd take care of our kids.  When I'd get the chance to go out, he hurry and leave without me while I was getting ready.  The only time I ever got a backrub was when our friend's girlfriend told him to give me one, and while I was in labor he took off with her!  I would have to constantly wait on him, take care of the kids myself, and work (he slept all day because of being out all night, and he wouldn't do dishes or household chores because it was 'b**** work').  Needless to say, I fixed the problem. . .  I moved on.  I met someone who is proud to help out with housework and the kids.  And throughout this pregnancy he's been amazing.  He OFFERS back and foot rubs, cooks and cleans, chases the kids around, etc.

I know he's your hubby and you love him, so maybe you should sit him down and tell him how you feel.  Be completely honest and upfront.  If he gets nasty about it, make a change.  You deserve much better.  Hopefully he's just being unaware of how insensitive he's being (cuz he's a guy, lol) and he'll apologize and start doing more for you.

Answer 4

It's fairly universal I think.  I'd lay down the law right now if I were you.  ie., "The next time I call you for help out of the bathtub and you're not there within the minute, it had better be because you're dead or gone forever.  Because if you aren't, you will be shortly."  Men are scum :).    Congrats and best wishes!

Answer 5

they just dont get it and never will. They're cavemen lol

Answer 6

geez my hubby does that too.  If I ask him to give me a lil backrub, he tells me that he's not gonna "clock in"..lol..and when I tell him I didn't sleep good, he says that he didn't sleep good because I kept him up..when i know good and well his lazy butt was snoring all night.  And if I say something is wrong w/me, he'll top it with something that is wrong w/him..it drives me crazy!!!!

Answer 7

My husband is the same way. He thinks because he works all week he can't help me do little things around the house. I'll ask him to unload the dishwasher. He says he'll do it in a minute. He never does it. I end up doing it. And if I say anything about how I feel he'll say I work 5 days a week, how can you feel bad when you sit around the house all day. He thinks im just being lazy and using my pregnancy(34 weeks) as an excuse. My grass is so high in my back yard that I can't stand to go out there. He won't mow the grass. I've asked him to do it the last two weeks and it keeps getting worse. Don't know if theres a way to fix it but I know how your feeling.

Answer 8

I am feeling right now like we have the same husband lol.

Your question actually just made me feel better knowing there is not something terribly wrong with my husband.  Perhaps when their conception occurred they came equipped with the asshat gene.

Answer 9

Not all husbands have wives, you know.

Answer 10

Why not ask him.  It sounds as though he is having some trouble in accepting the responsibilities of fatherhood.  Is he scared about having twins.There are many possibilities for his behaviour so try to talk to him about his feelings without getting too emotional or criticising.  Sometimes if people cannot talk about their feelings they can write it down

Answer 11

My fiance is the same way...haha.  Well, not with the lack of help- I'd kick him if he was on the computer while I needed help out of the tub.

But if I have a rough night's sleep because the babies kept me up- he feels the need to trump my story and tell me he was up every hour because of yada yada yada....... I don't think it dawns on him that I'm totally aware that he's lying because I sat there and watched him sleep all night while nursing a fussy baby.

Answer 12

well my husband does something along those lines but you know what i did to get him to start helping me with the house. i ahve a 2 year old i let him mess the house up like he does and then i send him to his pawpaws for a few days ( i usally wait untill my dad is begaing for him to come stay at his house because then he stays for about 4 days) and i dont do a d**n thing! DONT cook dont clean nothing then for myself and when he says somthing tell him he can carry the babies and he can clean the house and takecare of the one we already have. i had to do it about 6 times then he knew when our son went to his papaws house it was time for dad to clean house and he does now. and as far as back rubs cant help you there i dont even get those. but the bath tub i have had somthing simaler to that with us. when you ask him next time and he doesnt come running get out andlay on the floor like you feel or in the bath tub if you take your heel and hit the side of the tub hard enuff it will make a loud noise and start screaming. and ay you feel yes it is mean and lieing but he is also not considering how you feel. just try it. and if he wants to talk to to the hospital let him get everything ready and then tell him well if you would have came when i called you i wouldnt have fell then tell him ou dint realy fall.