Does anyone NOT like their children? PART II?

Question

We have to tell her to brush her teeth and wear deoderant. When she cleans her room, she will actually put food, cups, plates, wrappers under her pillow instead of just putting them in the sink or in the trash. She does not wipe herself very well after using the bathroom so her underwear are quite stained. Whenever our friends daughters come over or when we attend family gatherings, I am so ashamed and embarrassed because my daughter can't stay clean for 5 minutes and she is always doing stuff for attention, even AFTER we have the talk with her about behaving and acting like a young lady. We attended a family function at my in-laws home and in the middle of the adults having a conversation in the living room about politics, life and other stuff, she comes out and announces to everyone that she has made up a dance routine that she would like for them to see. They all stop and watch (surely just being polite) and when she was done, I was mortified.

Answer 1

Want me to be honest? She isn't the one with the problem. She is a child, and while I understand she is driving you crazy you are the one who needs to find a way to fix it.

Ask for help if you need to do, but you are the only who can make things right.

Don't give up on your kid, she's counting on you....

Good luck.

Answer 2

sounds like you haven't been a very good parent. You haven't done a good job at teaching your child anything...what did you think she would be born with life skills? You sound like you never bonded with her and now you are just loooking for negitives.

Answer 3

oh-my-gosh...seriously women YOU'RE the one who needs classes to learn how to be a good mother. poor poor child. this is what every child does!

shame on you..again!

Answer 4

I'm guessing she has depression issues..especially since you feel the way you do about her.  And believe me she has picked up on that "Vibe".  I don't know how a parent can "dislike" their own child but you're not helping her any...especially now that she has entered puberty.  I suggest counceling for both you and her.

Answer 5

You tell a child how to act you SHOW them. Over and over and over until they get it. Don't treat her like she is a problem or she will be a problem.

How fun she likes to dance for people. You should be happy and proud of her. Not mortified. That is not very nice. Now if she dropped her pants and took a dook on them then I'd say mortified.

Answer 6

she's acting out because she knows you hate her.

Answer 7

Sometimes parents are annoyed or embarrassed by their children. I'm sure that you don't flat-out DISLIKE her. You should talk to her and tell that her behavior is not only embarrassing to you, but that is embarrassing to herself. She might say that she doesn't care what people think about her, but deep down, she really does.

Answer 8

Look, you were 10 also and you did the same things too.  I'm 23 and when I was ten I was quite annoying also but my parents still loved me no matter what.  I went through a stage of touching people's hair and it drove my parents crazy.  Also at that age my favorite singer passed away and they made t-shirts of her and I had some and I partically lived in them and wouldn't take a shower to wear them again even and when I didn't have one on, I would take a shower in a drop of a hat to wear it.  I also would always interupt adult conversations with 10 year old stuff or just say silly things and my dad would stearnly say my name.  The point that I'm making is that this is normal for a p*****n to act like this and you should respect that.  The child constantly interrupts the adults because your doing a lousy job of giving her attention.  You should try to talk to her and tell her that you love her no matter what.   One day you are going to need her and she won't help you because your treating her like s**t.   If she starts to get hints that you dislike her she could run away or worse, commite suicide and you will never get her back.

Answer 9

You have said twice that she does it for attention  - do you ever give her any?  You were mortified that your 10 year old acted like a 10 year old?!?!  Do you know how to be a parent?  It is normal for children her age to forget to brush teeth and use deodorant and have messy bedrooms.  It is the responsibility of the PARENT (yeah that means you) to help her remember to do it in a nice and loving manner.  That is your job.  You seem to like your adult time and the designer clothes - maybe she sees that you value those designer things more than you do her so she devalues them by getting them dirty and messy.  Family counseling would be a good thing for all of you (maybe step parent issues, maybe a mom who doesn't care about her can all come out in therapy).  I also think parenting classes for you might really help it is obvious you don't have a clue.

Answer 10

Nope, I completely adore my kids!! They bring me so much happiness!!

Your daughter didn't get like this over-night which I'm sure you're well aware of. I have an 11 yr old niece that is so much like this I could have sworn her mom was typing it~~until you said you're married.

Anyway, she's a total mess and they've done counseling and it doesn't help her out a bit. She gets away with what she wants when she wants. A few years back they were staying with me for the summer (just my sis and her daughter) and I made sure that she didn't have the things that she threw tantrums for because that whole summer came out of MY pocket. She didn't get to do all the things my kids did, she didn't get the same things....she had very few privileges. They had to leave the day that she threw a rock at my 3 year olds head (on purpose) and just barely missed her. I haven't wanted them back since and they were here maybe twice since then and just for Christmas.

With her it's a matter of lack of discipline. I started teaching my kids right from wrong somewhere around 18 months, maybe a little sooner. They are well behaved kids now at 5 & 7. But she was NEVER taught that and especially not with any level of consistency. She would scream in time outs so they would end abruptly to avoid embarassment. Her mom gives in all the time and now that she has this little "brat" to deal with, she wants to know what to do! You tell her discipline and take things away, put her in sports, etc. "oh no, that could never work". Well, the meds don't work and the professionals don't work so about all else I can see is boot camp.

You are the parent here, not your daughter. Do NOT allow junk food to enter your home. Do NOT allow her to take food at all into her room~~none! If she won't wipe herself, hand her an old tooth brush the next time she has such nasty panties and make her clean them out herself.

All I can say other than what I have is that you lead by example. She is still influenced by what you do. So if you lead a healthy life-style she'll be more likely to follow suit.

Good luck.

Answer 11

I hate to break it to you, but this is no one's fault but your own. If she is ten years old and acting this way, something tells me it didn't happen overnight. I suggest seeing a family therapist. You cannot correct ten years of poor parenting in a few days, and surely not from yahoo answers. This sounds like a problem that a professional needs to handle.

Answer 12

She is only ten. Let her be. Asfor her being fat, it is still just bay fat!

Answer 13

Ok ... in part one I told you some other things you could try now I say just beat her a**,  beat her a**, beat her a** !! PLEASE for your own sanity, beat her a**. Make her wash her own nasty panties, don't let her take any dishes in her room. If she wants to eat or drink she has to do it in the kitchen.

As far as her being fat ... cut out all junk from her diet and put her into a dance class since she likes it so much.

Answer 14

2 words. family therapy. trust me. it W-I-L-L help

Answer 15

sounds like she needs more attention from her own parents....

kids do this to get more of you attention , only if they seem like there are not getting enough from there parents.

look up some classes about this or read something about how to help your child cope with you.

she can use a little therapy as well ...and therapy is not for crazy people just something that might help the child.

Answer 16

its a show she wants you to feel the way you feel she is angery about something try puting her in counceling my 7 yr old i s doing that to me now she doe exactly what your saying and she tells me she hates me and wants to go live with her aunt.

Answer 17

SHes the kid, you're the adult.

GROW UP.

Answer 18

i have two younger sisters aged 8 and 10 and my daughter is 7, everytime the family gets to gether they make up dances EVERTIME, if your daughter is overweight, limit her food intake, you are her mother so if she is overweight it's because YOU let her become that way. As for the bath and cleaning............ yes that's kids, have you had anything to do with a ten year old before, i think you will find they are all very similar, i have to tell my daughter to get  back in the bath all the time. Maybe if you gave her more one on one attention then she wouldn't crave it so much and if you buy a ten year old designer clothes then you must except that they are going to lose/wreck them, children don't understand and don't deserve to sit in the corner all day because of what they are wearing.