Does anyone else feel quilty?

Question

I am going to try and explain this the best I can without it coming off the wrong way

My daughter who will be 2 in a few months goes to her Dad's every other weekend. In the days leading up to her visits with her Dad I make a list of things to do while she is gone. Things that would be easier to do without her 'help'. For example: scrubbing carpets and walls, rearranging furniture, going through clothes and putting away ones that are getting snug and bringing out new ones and updating scrapbooks. Stuff like that. I usually get it done but then I feel guilty because I feel its like I am looking forward to her being gone and taking advantage of it. Doing these things also helps keep me from going crazy from missing her so much (I dont sleep much when she is gone and have actually caught myself counting the hours till she comes home) but I cant but feel this way.

Does anyone else have a child that goes away for visitations with a parent and feel this way? Sometimes I feel like a bad mother because of it (I have been feeling this way when she goes away for a LONG time). She is gone this weekend and I am driving myself crazy with this.

Answer 1

Oh my gosh NOOOO!!! Do NOT feel guilty!! Every other weekend is not a lot of time, although it can seem like forever when they are gone! A 2 year old is a full time job! Use your time alone to get everything done so you can have more quality time with your daughter when she is home. And remember, you have to take care of YOU first, so you can give your daughter the best part of you as a parent. My 2nd hubby taught me that! :) Best of luck! I too have kids that go to their dad's on weekends. I know how hard it is.

Answer 2

You need to embrace this time to yourself, you know doubt work very hard all week, without the help of a spouse, you need this time just for you.  I know you miss her, but she is probably having fun and this time away can keep you fresh for her.  Quality not quantity....so relax and give yourself a break, literally, you will get use to this time for you.  Don't  feel guilty, time to yourself is wonderful.

Answer 3

I am a mostly stay at home mom who works 18 hours a week.  Although we are in a position for me to be able to stay home with my 8 month old baby, I need out sometimes.  My job pays very little, and my time would really be better spent helping my husband with his business from home, I want a break, and to be around other young women.  I also found a program at the local university for babies.  It's four days a week for three hours.  My husband is mad that I want this break when he is still so little (he'll be 9 months when he goes) I want to get him into that program because it is an excellent program, but also because I want to do housework without baby around to get into stuff.  I feel guilty but I think this is typical too.

Answer 4

I am not away as you are from my son, but on weekends I barely see him.  I work all day and all evening.  By the time I get home he is asleep.  I feel guilt during the week that I look froward to it, then miss him more then anything while I am at work.  It is a odd feeling, and yes I do love when I get a few by myself.  I think I like working so that I get my break just to sit and relax for that 30-60 min.  But how I miss my son.  It is so normal to feel this way. Try not to beat yourself up about it.  It will pass, or so I am told... lol Good luck, and try to enjoy your free time :)

Answer 5

Nothing wrong with taking advantage of the chance to get things done!  Sometimes it is way harder with their help, bless the little helpers!  But I think there is nothing wrong with it.  I cant wait until my bf comes ome so that he can play with my little one and I can get things done.  I would go crazy in a messy house!

Answer 6

You are a good mother.

Find ways to cope better with seperation, such as finding things you enjoy doing while she is away.

That is the simple, truthful answer.