Does anyone else have a teen who finds it tough to have friends...?

Question

I have a 13 yr old whom has been homeschooling for the past 4 years. A recent move, a serious accident and the loss of one of the family cars left her pretty isolated for most of the past six months. She is finally able to get out and about, but we are having a tough time with friendships. While she goes to two or three weekly classes/clubs/etc with other homechoolers, it is nearly impossible to co-ordinate get togehters like hanging out at the mall, sleep overs, etc. Most homeschoolers have packed schedules and weekends are geared toward family time. There are fewer kids still homeschooling once you reach jr. high and high school and our neighborhood has very few kids as well. I am stumped...we have tried organizing clubs, social outings, sponsering field trips..you name it. Does anyone else feel this way at times and how did you deal with it? I just need ideas and to know I am not the only one out there with this issue.

Answer 1

I don't have a teen but I was once a teen who had similar problems. I changed schools a lot when I was little, my father passed away in the middle of high school and I sturuggled with Asperger's Syndrome which made social things very hard. I never knew who to trust. Because of this, all my friends were adults who had busy lives of their own. Just be there for your daughter. Sooner or later she WILL find at least one good friend and from that friend will come more. For me, it happened when I was about to give up. It may happen sooner for her. I wish the best of luck to the best of you.

Answer 2

Why does it have to be just other homeschoolers? Are there not other things available where you live?

Answer 3

The majority of my daughters close friends are from our church. They are not necessarily home schooled students but I know that our family's interests are similar.

Is this a concern for your daughter or for you? Does she get along with older as well as younger kids? Friends don't necessarily have to be exactly the same age. You don't need a ton of them as well. Just encourage her to be involved in things that interest her. Get her into volunteering and community events. She will end up having friends that share the same interests.

Hope this helps a little!

Answer 4

Well, all of my kids friends live in the next town over. It means a lot of driving, but contacting a homeschooling support group and getting in touch with them willhelp. There should be more than one group...even if it means driving. As a mom, it's a lot more work, and a lot more time, but it's worth it.

She also needs to be the one contacting people...which might be hard if she's not in the habit. It sounds like it hasn't been very long since she's gotten back into the swing of things, so just be supportive, and keep setting things up. If you set it up to have a party at your house, just go ahead and make up flyers for her to pass out at the classes. If it seems set in stone, rather than saying "Do you want to come over and hang out?", saying "I'm having a movie party at my house, it's at 7pm..come over whenever you can!" We have regular events, and what has happened is that over time more people show up, as their schedules change etc.

Too bad you don't live closer ;-) We have a lot of teens homeschooling. My kids aren't quite teens yet, but we still host stuff for all ages.

Answer 5

My daughter had a little trouble with this for a while.  We found that she didn't really need crowds of friends to be happy, just one or two really good friends.  She hit it off with a girl from church who goes to public school.  We have had rearrange our schedule a little to give her time off when the Public School kids are out (before now we never paid attention to the public school schedule).

Here are some things you might try:  Youth Groups at a Church or other religious institution, Boys and girls clubs, 4-H clubs.

I have found that homeschooled teens i have met fall into one of two groups; those who are naturally so social that they don't have time for field trips, clubs, groups, etc, and those who NEED those groups to meet others.  Keep trying, but don't stick just with homeschoolers, try to get her involved with a group of kids with similar interests.

Also, in many places homeschoolers can take part in after-school activities at the local school, you might look into that.

Answer 6

I THINK you may not be the only one but you might be the only one who is so concerned about it