Does anyone else see the hypocrisy of people talking about the atrocities committed against a women who is?

Question

Here is a quote from a random GWS poster:

"Look around the world. Look at the statistics: We live in a world in which women do not have basic control over what happens to their bodies. Millions of women and girls are forced to marry and have s*x with men they do not desire."

Actualy what inspired the question.

My point is, in most of these marriages, its a boy being forced to marry the girl, so why is it considered a women's issue, and why is it being treated as victimizing to women when boys are being forced into marriages too?

Answer 1

Those were my words.

How many men are shot or burned by their family when they refuse to marry the woman of their parents' choice? How many "honor killings" are committed against a man who falls in love? How many young men die in childbirth because they didn't have a choice and were made pregnant at the tender age of 12 and couldn't do anything about it? And if you are gonna say it's all religion then I was talking about sexism within religion and culture. Sexism is subtle in the US. I gave you examples of what is happening in the rest of the world. If you want evidence, contact me throgugh e-mail and I'll have it for you. Don't call me a hypocrite.

Answer 2

It's atrocious for anyone to be forced to marry anyone they don't want to.

Answer 3

You are right. I also want to add, that the marriage isn't about some Cinderella fantasy the bride might have, but about land, family pride, and money.

Answer 4

Face the reality of our culture.  Men and women are not equal in culture regardless of what law states.  If you are a man and you walk down the street and look in a window at Ms. Smith naked...you are a peeping tom.  If you are naked in your home and Ms. Smith passes by and looks in the window and sees you.....you are a flasher.  s*x roles are part of our culture......girls are sugar and spice and everything nice....still more than a nursery rhyme

Answer 5

No, I don't.

In cultures that have forced marriages the wife is pretty much the unpaid house slave. She is the one that has to move into her husband's house, with all his relatives. She is then expected to be at his beck and call and that of his relatives. He can rape her whenever he wants, or he can have an affair with another woman if he wants. If she doesn't fulfill her wifely duties (or even if she does) he can beat her. She cannot visit her relatives unless she has permission. If she goes back to her parents' house she faces public shame and ridicule. Her husband will not face the same.

As another poster said, newly-married husbands do not generally end up being set on fire and dead, unless there is a feminist conspiracy to cover all these deaths up.

Obviously not all arranged marriages end up like this but I hope that you can appreciate that the positions of husband and wife are not equal in such cultures and the husband has a lot less to lose both in marriage and in separation.

Answer 6

I guess because the male, if not satisfied with whom he's been forced to marry, can get a mistress or someone to cater to his desires.

I don't think anyone should be forced into marriage.

Answer 7

The hypocrisy is in leaving out the part about how everywhere in the world where there are arranged marriages there is also a raging epidemic of husband-initiated abuse /domestic violence / murder of wives.  Although the traditional custom of arranged marriages violates both the right of self-determination of males and females in matters of mate selection, the marriage itself benefits males in their cultural entitlement paradigms of expecting women to assume an inferior and subservient role with her husband as ruler and with the woman being forced into that Master / Slave role relationship.  To force anyone into that sick relationship is a far worst violation of human rights than taking away a man's right to choose his own mate.  For that reason, there is a focus on the safety and rights of women being forced into those sick relationships.

Answer 8

I do agree, forced marriage (as opposed to arranged marriage, which is not forced) is equally devastating on two people who do not wish to be married to each other.

I would say though, that where a forced marriage leads to one spouse living in violently unpleasant arrangements, possibly with their spouse's extended family, that a woman would be more vulnerable in this situation, simply due to her smaller stature, as well as the physical necessities of pregnancy.

I also do believe that there are more cases of a younger woman being forced into marriage with an older man because of cultural preferences regarding fertility and virginity of women.  

None of this is to downplay the effect on males - or the fear of those who choose to leave their families to avoid a forced marriage, or live with the partner of their choice.  I can only say, those in democratic countries hopefully know they have rights and options, and god help those who don't.  I sometimes hear of women setting themselves on fire to escape forced marriages, but I have not heard of men doing the same, but who knows, maybe that's just the media  :-)

Answer 9

I think you would have to show a specific case where someone DID "complain" about the "atrocities" against girls, when both individuals were children. I think that generally, that is seen as a bad deal, all the way around, when it's two children. When I hear about the "atrocities," it is generally about the SPECIFIC cases where the girl is, say, eight years old, and her "husband" is in his thirties. I actually just read about JUST SUCH AN ARRANGEMENT, and most sickening of all...the "marriage" was consummated. I wanted to throw up when I read it. And this is not that unusual in some parts of the world.

Again, I don't see the people singling out the female as a "victim" when it's two children, just when it's a child and an adult.

EDIT-Oh, so you want us to speak on the "hypocrisy" of this one poster. Well, the poster has a valid point, in that in cultures that practice arranged marriage, the woman, or girl, often gets the crappier deal. Those cultures are generally very socially restricting when it comes to women. When the woman is married, she basically becomes slave labor...cooking, cleaning, and serving her husband's family. And she must have s*x with her new husband on HIS terms. SHE is not allowed to make advances, she is at his disposal. HE has MUCH more leeway. HE can still possibly find "the love of his life" and have affairs (men in these cultures generally are not punished for having affairs, or even looked down upon) a woman will most likely be stoned to death for doing the same (in some cultures) or divorced (in others). And yes, he is trapped in a loveless marriage, as well, but he still has access to the wider world. when a woman marries, the domestic sphere IS her world, in those cultures.

So, no, it is generally not comparable, if you are talking about adults.

In the case of children, they are usually not set up as husband and wife until they both come of age...generally 14 or 15, or older, depending on the culture. Does it suck for both? I would assume so, but I would think that it would truly be worse for the girl, considering the very narrow constraints that she is subjected to, that the boy is not.

Answer 10

It would suck for the man to be forced to marry a woman, also, but I think the difference is that in most places where this is happening, the men have control over the money.  Also, they are stronger, and can (not saying they all do), force the woman to have s*x with them.

Answer 11

It's considered a woman's issue because in places where arranged marriages occur, women are often treated as second class citizens for religious or cultural reasons.  Yes, both are being "forced" into marriage, but women have less freedom.

Answer 12

Arranged marriages are quite common in other cultures and generally speaking, most women involved are not considered victims.

However, in "forced"marriages, the woman (or child) is often seen as an object being given away by the family or kidnapped by the husbands family. The Husband is not considered a victim as he usually is much older and sees himself as benefitting by the deal.

Edit: You seem to be intentionally over looking the fact them men and women vew s*x very differently. For a young girl, the prospect of being a baby machine for some stranger is quite terrifying. The guy on the other hand, is just getting a new toy.