Does anyone else think this is out of order?

Question

I have worked for my company as a Credit Controller since March 2008 but have never felt liked by the other employees. No body talks to me all day, every day but I didnt let that bother me until this morning. I logged into Facebook to discover that one of my colleagues, who actually does say hi to me every now and again, has added pictures of her fancy dress party to celebrate her 25th. Practically everyone from the firm were in the pictures but I did not get an invite. Im not sure whether im being silly or not but this has really upset me. This was obviously kept quiet as I heard nothing about it. Im thinking of handing my notice in..

Answer 1

it is a bit mean i agree...however your colleague isn't obligated to invite anyone to her party...try being more sociable and approachable with your colleagues in and out of work and maybe things will look up.  if its a job you love stick at it but if the situation is unbearable it may be time to consider cutting your losses and looking elsewhere for employment

Answer 2

Is your personal hygiene up to standards?

I find that's the biggest reason people don`t speak to people at work.

Answer 3

They sound horrible! My advice is to find another job. They are obviously all friends and are not open to adding anyone else in their circle, its them not you. We spend over 60 per cent of our lives at work so you need to be somewhere where you feel comfortable,somewhere you can have a quick chat when you are making tea and someone you can go out with for lunch once an a while!Even someone you can chat to about this and that,makes a huge difference. I have stayed in most of my jobs more for the people rather than the job itself.It takes a lot of courage to leave a bad situation than to stay in one,so please do go.There are plenty of jobs out there in your field with lovelier people and you deserve better.

Best of luck.

x

Answer 4

Yes, that is not pleasant at all but not reason enough to leave, you could move onto something worse.  Think about the reasons why no one talks to you, honestly is there something you are or are not doing to rub people up the wrong way? .....Good luck!

Answer 5

i personally think that a person has 2 homes in life. home, and work.  if your not happy at work then you need to try somewhere new.  you need to find a place where your comfortable, and have a few friends to chat with.  work is your second family.  apply for new places and hand in your notice.

good luck

kala

Answer 6

ask yourself these questions : are you there for the money or for the friends?  What do you expect from a job?  Can you get a new job soon? And then decide.

Answer 7

Its hard to be lonely and singled out in work and school environments, but friendships go both ways, have you tried to make connections with your colleagues?

Obviously the person who had the party didn't see you as a close friend but rather an aquaintance. Why don't you try to turn it into a friendship by having conversations longer than a greeting.

You shouldn't quit your job just because of this issue, there are definitely ways to fix the problem.

I know its really hard if your shy since I'm quite shy as well but why don't you starrt bt making people laugh and telling them embarrassig things wthat mightve happened at work that they can relate to? Its really mostly about relating to people so start off by talking about work things then you can become more personal. Good luck

Answer 8

You say you are a liked person and get on with every one - it seems that the exceptions to the rule are EVERY other employee in your company - which is weird. You just must have very badly blotted your copy book somehow for there to be this situation.

Answer 9

We are not obliged to be friends with our work colleagues, only maintain civil relationships to allow us to our jobs, however, I think ignoring someone and concealing activities outside work must have taken some effort.  

I would move on but I would ensure that I have a job before I hand in my notice.  

Answer 10

you are not happy there so why stay with all this going on. Leave and get a nice fulfilling job with people you get on with, a fresh new start sounds good.

Answer 11

Gosh that is pretty hard to swallow.

I think in this situation I would have to speak to the colleague who had the fancy dress and gently ask her if you have done something to offend the people in the company.  Explain to her that although you do not automatically expect an invite to parties etc, it would be really nice to have some form of involvement in the general workplace, but you feel isolated and are unsure why.

I think that she is your best point of contact, simply because she says hi to you sometimes.  

I don't think you are being silly at all, although I think to hand your notice in would be a little hasty, however awful you feel at the moment.  Hopefully your colleague will tell you what the initial problem was (sometimes it can be hearsay that is totally untrue which could have caused rumours about you in the workplace before you had had a chance to settle in) and hopefully after hearing what she has to say you can explain to her how you feel.

Good luck, really hope it works out for you and tomorrow, first thing, go for it!  You have nothing to lose if you are so desperate you are thinking of leaving your job.  You may well find that clearing the air and confronting the problem really helps your situation and may gain you some respect.

:)