Juno MacGuff: Yeah, I'm a legend. You know, they call me the cautionary whale.
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Juno MacGuff: Oh, and she inexplicably mails me a cactus every Valentine's Day. And I'm like, "Thanks a heap coyote ugly. This cactus-gram stings even worse than your abandonment."
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Juno MacGuff: Wow your shorts are like especially gold today.
Paulie Bleeker: My mom uses color safe bleach.
Juno MacGuff: Go Carol.
--
Su-Chin: I'm having a little trouble concentrating.
Juno MacGuff: Oh well I could sell you some of my Adderall if you want.
Su-Chin: No thanks I'm off pills.
Juno MacGuff: That's a wise choice because I knew this girl who like had this crazy freak out because she took too many behavioral meds at once and she like ripped off her clothes, and dove into the fountain at Ridgedale Mall and was like, "Blah I am a Kracken from the sea!"
Su-Chin: I heard that was you.
Juno MacGuff: Well, it was good seeing ya Su-Chin.
--
Leah: All right, how about this one? 'Healthy, educated couple seeking infant to join our family of five. You will be compensated. Help us complete the circle of love.'
Juno MacGuff: Yeesh, they sound like a cult, is what the sound like! And besides they already have three kids. They're just like greedy little b*****s!
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Juno MacGuff: And Bleeker is actually great... in chair.
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Vanessa Loring: What's wrong? Why are you crying?
Juno MacGuff: I'm not crying, I'm just allergic to fine home furnishing.
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Juno MacGuff: Ick! I don't want to give my baby to a couple who describes themselves as "wholesome." I was looking for, maybe, a thirty-something graphic designer with a cool Asian girlfriend who kicks *** on the bass guitar, but I don't know, I don't wanna get too particular.
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Juno MacGuff: Your little girlfriend gave me the stinkeye in art class yesterday.
Paulie Bleeker: Katrina's not my girlfriend alright? And I doubt she gave you the stinkeye that's just how her face looks, you know? That's just her face.
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Leah: "Wholesome, spiritually wealthy couple have found true love with each other." Aw... all that's missing is your b*****d!
Juno MacGuff: I want a parakeet.
--
Juno MacGuff: Uhhh, I hate it when adults use the term "sexually active." What does it even mean? Am I gonna like deactivate some day or is it a permanent state of being?
ahhhh I just can't get enough of this movie!
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