Does anyone ever feel this way?

Question

When you start a relationship, everything is perfect. For about 6 or 8 months, it is perfect. Your love for each other is build on passion, in and out of the bedroom. You can't keep your hands off each other. You can't keep saying good things about each other.

Then, maybe you move in together, see each other every day. And maybe get bored of each other? Where does the passion go? Why don't you love each other as much as you used to? You will always be together, you always speak of marriage and our future and where we will go and what we will do.

Does this ever happen to you? Does it make you sad that love sort of fades away... is this just "new love" that everyone speaks of? The love doesn't actually go away, just the passion... and where does it go?

Answer 1

Nobody can sustain that kind of passion. We aren't built to do that. It would be like staring at a bright light for too long.

What replaces the passion is a very comfortable companionship. That's what we're capable of sustaining over the long term.

The passion does come back intermittently; it's not gone forever. It's just that you can't be like that every day.

Two people can't get bored with each other if they're both engaged in life and are independent enough to have separate interests. You have to make it challenging for the other person to keep up with you.

I read that being in love is not about gazing into each other's eyes, but about looking forward, together.

Answer 2

At the beginning when love feels like you can't keep your hands off of each other, it's called infatuation though it's often mistaken for love. Once you start getting a little more bored of each other, it's a test to see whether that infatuation can lead to love. If you endure it and still realize how much you enjoy that other person's company, it's true love. If you can't, then the relationship fails and all you felt was infatuation. What you're going through is extremely common because people get accustomed to seeing each other and thus it's less of a thrill.

BTW, the passion can still be renewed easily. Just try different things or try spending a little less time together and more with friends. In a sense, you actually love each other more now because it goes beyond lust and infatuation. :) Unfortunately, most people who haven't studied this do not realize.

Answer 3

Yes, it has. Life happens.

Answer 4

Yes, this has happened to me, I mean I know that I still love my bf, but we now live together and have a 1 yr old and well sometimes most iof the time it isnt as romantic as i would like at all. But there are moments when you still get that feeling, and in a way it makes that feeling feel alot more intense. I love it when it just comes over me, it is ten times better, IDK it jsut comes with relationships. I mean when you first fall in love with someone you dont know everything about them and now you live with them youve seen possibly every aspect of them you maybe arent as pleased with somethigs and let that get to you too much.  

Answer 5

I know what you mean! I've been with my fiance Jason for 8 months now, but this time it's different, Our love grows every day and the passion, well I've never been so passionate. Maybe you just haven't found the right person. I can't explain how good everything feels with him, I was with my ex for 2 years and the passion was gone within 3 months...

Answer 6

no you have to keep it interesting, be kind and laugh and really enjoy being together   talking the love never goes away either does the passion  the problem comes when you are not happy or just in love with love

Answer 7

The "new car smell" of relationships has been a problem for couples as long as humans have been around.  There's a reason that people say relationships take effort.  After a while, people become complacent with the relationship they're in.  This doesn't mean that they don't care, it's just easy to become too comfortable.  I guarantee you, if you ask a happy elderly couple, they will tell you that things haven't always been easy.  It takes a commitment from both people involved to keep things fresh and new.  I've always found that happy surprises are a cure for boring periods of a relationship.  I never give my wife flowers when I'm "in the dog house".  This only reinforces that I did something wrong.  Instead, I'll randomly show up at her work with a bouquet of sunflowers and present them to her.  She'll ask why I did this.  My response is simple, "because you are the love of my life".  Sometimes it's the small things that a person does that means the most.