Does anyone ever wish they were adopted?

Question

and had better paretns than the ones that they got by chance?

Answer 1

i always did when I was a kid, not so much anymore.  I would be a different person today if I had different parents, and I am a pretty decent person.

Answer 2

Nope.

Hey Beavis, smell my finger

Huh huh huh huh huh huh huh huh

Answer 3

Nope.  Adoption doesn't guarantee good parents.  And besides, I love the parents I had...who gave birth to me, which was meant to be.

You are pretty skewed in your views.

Answer 4

No, that's just stupid.

Answer 5

I was adopted so I don't have to wish for it. It would have been nice if I had been placed with better parents though - my adoptive parents sucked. The woman I was born to by chance would have been a much better parent.

Answer 6

But we don't get biological parents "by chance." They are our genetic mirrors. We are who we are in large part because of the physical and psychological traits our family passed down to us.

Chance is when we're dropped into someone else's family with whom we have no prior connection. Might work out, might not.

Now THAT is "chance."

Answer 7

A lot of children have fantasies that they were adopted.  I did.  My home life was pretty abusive.  As an adult, however, I'm well aware that I wouldn't have been guaranteed a better life if I had been raised by another family.  My parents, while sick and psycho, really did do their best.  They didn't know any better (still don't).

Answer 8

I expect everyone wishes they had better parents at some point or other.  I have heard from many of my non-adopted friends that they wish they had been adopted.  Then they think better of it.  I think it's pretty normal to ask "what if" questions.  

However, adoption, and the related issues, have nothing to do with the people who raise the adoptee.  (There are certainly issues that can come up.  But the issues inherent in adoption have little to do with one's parents.)  Adoption requires loss.  Adoption often (though not always) involves being raised in a family where the adoptee doesn't fit.  Adoption creates abandonment issues, relationship issues, identity issues, and the like.

It's not about being raised by different people.

N.B.: I can't tell if you are accusing me of impersonating you.  But I can assure you, I have better things to do than pretending to be you.

ETA:  Sorry, Leigh, but it's the "happy, happy, joy, joy" club that causes problems for me.  Had I stumbled on this site as a teen, I would have felt like I had finally found a few people who understood me, that I wasn't completely crazy to think there was something wrong with adoption.  This had NOTHING to do with my parents, and everything to do with the PROBLEMS INHERENT IN ADOPTION ITSELF.  If you don't want people to tell you how to feel, why are you telling others not to be so negative.  I call hypocrisy on you.  If you are shaking so badly, I wonder how okay you can really be with all of this.

Answer 9

noope,

because then i would feel sad the 1st parent gave me up.

Answer 10

I was not adopted.  As a child i always fantasized that my parents would die and i could be adopted.  My parents were severly abusive, they didn't even try to parent us.  But as much as i hate, hate hate to say it i guess i had to live thru that to have my amazing husband and 5 wonderful children.  That i wouldn't change for the world.

I don't hear adoptees saying they weren't happy with their adoptive parents. (a few maybe) Most adoptees here love their adoptive parents.  I think you might be missing the point.

Answer 11

Nope. I honestly could not have asked for better parents. Now I can only hope to be HALF of the parent they were.

Answer 12

"so why do adoptees always want other parents than the ones the y were given?"

We want to know our bio parents. Why have you got a problem with that? I was adopted by strangers, and I lost my family, my heritage, my medical history, my family history and a h**l of a lot of other stuff, and now I get this c**p? My adoptive parents are awesome and I love them, but I still deserve to know who gave birth to me, and hear from herself why she gave me up, learn my medical history and know what I or my future children are prone to.

When I was younger, I told a friend of mine I was adopted and she said, "Oh you're so lucky. I wish I was adopted." I nearly slapped her. Yeah, you wish your bio parents gave you up and dumped you on some handy strangers, do you? Moron!

Answer 13

Would you ask someone if they wish they were handicapped? Or ask a wife if she wishes she was a widow?

Of course not.  Because those questions are cruel, and unkind.  So is yours.

Answer 14

No, I never wish that I was adopted.  My parents were far from "perfect" and we had very little money but my family has a rich cultural heritage that goes back to the beginnings of the US and Canada.  Had I been adopted, I would have lost all of that history and pride in my family's contribution the history of Western world.  No house with a pool and a pony is worth that.

I cannot answer the added part of your question.  Why was it added after the original question?

Answer 15

Actually, I got my adoptive parents by chance and they're the best parents I could have asked for.   Doesn't mean my real parents don't exist though.

I pity any kid who gets you for a parents though, they'll be on the phone to Joslin as soon as they learn to dial, begging to be adopted by ANYONE else

Answer 16

I am  adopted, and have no complaints. I doubt anyone who enjoyed their childhood would ever truly want different parents.



I would, however, like to address LILLIE

You do NOT speak for me. I cannot believe some of the negative comments I have read on here. Just because you are not a fan of adoption does not give you the right to assign beliefs and feelings for the rest of us. What if a young adopted teen wonders on here and sees all of these people griping about adoption and they think something must be wrong with them? I thought society had overcome the stigma of adoption--now I see it is people on here who are so negative that perpetuate these feelings. I am almost shaking, I am so upset. I know not every adopted person has a great life, but a LOT of us do--I have other family and friends who are adopted-they feel the same way I do. Yes, I know tons of you will give me thumbs down, and that is fine. I've been giving many of your comments thumbs down as well. Please realize not everyone feels the way you do and do not be so negative.

-----------------------------

Oh Lillie, I just love how it is OK for YOU to get on here and have your say but God forbid someone with on opposing view do it.....

And that was my point--there ARE opposing views, but in your post you assumed that we all feel the way you do. All I did was give another side and you get all upset. Hmmmm....

Answer 17

Another Legendary Question from Graphite I see

*Sticks fingers down throat*

What a Stupid Question

So stupid it doesn't warrant any sort of a real answer

Answer 18

Yes.  We hear from kids on our adoption hotline that want to be adopted.  Especially around the holidays and in the summer.  Why?  They say their parents are abusive, neglectful, molesters, yellers, never there, drug addicts mostly.  We have to make CPS referrals for some of them or call the police on a few.  It is very sad to hear children begging for nicer, better parents, different parents, or begging to go into foster care or be adopted.  You may not like this answer, but it is reality.

Answer 19

i was adopted and god it was the best thing that ever happened to me.I had to have been the worst kid in the world but no matter what happened they stuck by but then my sibling on the other hand.was adopted to another family and she did one thing wrong and back into CAS she went it all matters on how much your parents truly care.

Answer 20

Well gee Zig, isn't it obvious?

Nobody here wanted to be adopted, and neither do adoptees.  We don't want the parents we were "given" because we'd rather have the parents we were BORN TO.

Just like everyone else.

ETA: Don't preach to me Leigh, you're not my mother.

Answer 21

Now you're just being truly ridiculous.  If you've truly read in this forum, you'd know there aren't many adoptees who wish they'd had different parents, just as there aren't many non-adoptees who wish they'd had different parents.

Once again, you are completely incapable of separating the issues and truly understanding what's going on.  You've proven yourself to be completely without any real insight or ability to think in any logical manner.

eta:

Why is it important to you who liked their parents and who didn't, anyway?  Get past it, loser.

eta:

Oh, I noticed you phrased it as "better parents than the ones they got by chance"

Hmm, well, I got 4 parents "by chance" as you call it.  Guess I'll keep them all.

eta:

You insinuate that Phil of all people would bother to impersonate YOU?  Oh, please, don't flatter yourself.  

BTW, ziggy, the day  you start speaking any truth with regard to adoption will be a miraculous one indeed.  So far you've had nothing accurate to say regarding adoption.

Answer 22

adoptees are abused at a higher rate than their non-adopted counter parts, you might want to think this wish through, but I for one, hope your wish comes true for you.