Does anyone feel the same?

Question

okay so i am completely confused, i dont know myself anymore. since i was 15 ive been lets say quete depressed, although i asked for help i was dismissed as just a normal teenager seeking attention. since then i havent asked for help again, cause i know i'm not going to get any. well this has gone on for two years. i'm a cutter and i have abused a lot of drugs but my parents caught me wen i was 16 and i havent really used a lot since, just sometimes. i do still smoke marijuana very often, i think i'm addicted. anyhoo these last few months have been very very confusing. i'm 17 now. my confidence in myself have totally gone downhill, it started when i accidently pushed the wrong button on my bf phone and it switched to p**n, he told me he hates it, so i started constantly worrying about how i look and if i'm fat. i know all girls do but it feels like mine is out of control. i did start throwing up after meals when i was 15 but stopped for a while, then a month ago i started again and now just dont really eat much at all. it gives me a sense of control cause i feel like i dont have control over anything in my life. most of the time i'm sad, angry, frustrated and feel anxious. i struggle comunicating with people and find it hard to talk about anything. i'm constantly not trusting my boyfriend and constantly worrying that he doesnt love me, it drives me crazy because i get so anxious that my whole body hurts and then i start feeling sick and just want to cry, the cutting doesnt help either. i think of suicide everyday, whole day but just cant seem to do it, i have told my bf but i think its driving him away. anyhoo the strange thing is sometimes i suddenly change from so extremely sad to suddenly happy and talkative and very energetic but this usually doesnt last long, its only happened twice and it seems it happens when i get my period. i'm driving myself crazy with irrational thoughts, my emotions are so strong it actually really hurts. there is a family history of bipolar disorder in my family, my mother and brother. but i dont know if i could have it. my mind seems fogged and thinking irritates me cause i only think of bad things. i get angry at nothing and act irrational. i smoke marijuana because it takes my anxiety away, the anxiety is very very bad, it feels like thers a monster inside me thats ripping itself out but is still stuck so it keeps on trying. i dont know whats going on anymore, i dont know who i am and my emotions are throwing me around. please dont be mean i'm just asking if someone has had the same feelings etc etc, i just need to know if everybody feels like this everyday of their lives or if there is actually something wrong with me?

Answer 1

You need to talk to a professional ASAP! Tell your parents you need help. If you can't talk to your parents, talk to your counselor at school. They will help you in the right direction. Everything you are describing is not good for you and your health is at risk as well as your life (since you're having suicidal thoughts). You need to talk to someone and get the help you need. If you need someone to talk to feel free to email me at [e-mail] I use to be a cutter, suicidal, and I'm currently still struggling with my eating disorder (both anorexia and bulimia). Please get the help you need and tell someone these things. Take care of yourself!

Answer 2

umm....I gave up after the 5th sentence, but reading the last one I'd say there is...get help

Answer 3

you should talk to someone, a trusted adult. you should get help. im sorry to hear that you feel this way :/

Answer 4

Yes, I do. But I am getting help and so should you.

Answer 5

yes i feel the same as you to a certain extent, i also have anxiety and right now i am very emotionaly and confused but im hoping it will work itself out.. im going to college soon so im gonna try and get a fresh start and try to just relax and calm my thoughts down.. i might  start seeing a therapist and maybe go on a pill but im not sure i just want to tell you to hang in there and get some help it can only get better if you try to help yourself you cant just sit back and smoke pot everyday that deffinitly wont help at all, well i hope things work out for you and for me as well......

Answer 6

Speak to your parents + get professional help.

(Don't be ashamed or embarrassed about it.)

Answer 7

You are a teenager. I hated being a teenager. I was always in the moods that you are in now. i mean I never threw up my food anyway. Listen..if this is honestly bugging you then I suggest you tell your parents that you need to see your doctor. give them some bs that you have to have a physical and then when you go tell him/her exactly what you wrote on here. I would also try renting The Secret at the video store. This helped me find a good path to get on. Well, it made me cry but it was a good cry!! idk. its hard being a teenager. but you should set all aside and just enjoy life while you can. life is too short to be like this.

Answer 8

Its not normal. You need to find a good counselor.  

Answer 9

The teenagers years are always the hardest trust me i know i am 15 and have depression and anxiety most teens do.  But i am sorry to say that drugs do make them worse.  Marijuana makes people paranoid you may think it helps your anxiety but it actually makes it worse.  People usually use it to escape reality.  You need to really get yourself off of that to help yourself.  I looked up ways to relieve anxiety and one of them was don't use illegal drugs.  So thats the first thing you have to do.  You are also very depressed it could be because of the mari j, and the anxiety and your boyfriend.  If you caught him looking at p**n it is normal for guys to look at p**n because their hormones are raging.  I wouldn't nesecarily be mad about that unless he is cheating on you which he is not.  I honestly think that the mari j takes a HUGE role on your lack of communication, depression, and your mind being foggy.  You also should consider going to therapy because that could help you in a great amount. Everything goes back to the drugs people think they make them feel better when it just makes the whole situation worse.  FEEL BETTER/ ;]

Answer 10

since bi-polar runs in your family, I think you need to on your own go and get elp. If your parents don't want to listen. But, i'm sure if you tell your parents that youve had suicidal thoughts then they will get you help.

I suffer from depression and all i want is to be happy, and carefree.  You need to get help now before it gets worse and starts consuming your life.

Good Luck!

Answer 11

Sounds kinda like bipolar disorder type II.

Definitely go and see a professional, I have type I which is worse and it has made my life h**l. I could imagine type II which is the more depressive one can ruin life just as bad.

Answer 12

There's definitely something wrong. You need to regain some control and stop worrying... calm down and get on any path to help yourself. Once you change your frame of mind it can only go uphill.

Answer 13

i just want to say..... stop smoking it is very bad for you. it will make you feel worse later on. and marijuana is ILLEGAL.

Answer 14

Yes, I have felt like this and occasionally have the feelings to this day.

It sounds like there is some sort of Chemical imbalance happening.

You need to see a therapist a.s.a.p. If your parents won't support you in that decision there are other options.

check out these links and see if it gives you some guidance.

http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/depress...

http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapis...

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depressi...

I would tell my parents again how you are feeling. Show them what you wrote here if it feels easier than talking to them.

Otherwise I'd go to a guidance counselor at school and see if they can suggest where to go from here.

You do need to get some help. You have way to much going on not to deal with it.

I wish you all the best !