Does anyone have 6 year old starting to show major defiance at home?

Question

I have 6 year old twin boys who are starting first grade in a couple of weeks. They suffered from lots of separation (from me) anxiety when ages 2-4, but not as much now. I am also starting back to work when they start school. While they are still wonderful and funny kids, I have started to see a TON of disrespect towards me lately -- and I get a "No" to everything I ask them to do. Is this one of those stages where they clash with you to make it easier to separate?

Answer 1

oh yes! my 6 year old is just the same!

i put it down to a hormone rush - a bit like teenagers really!

they are starting to change from cute little kid to young child, they are growing and learning at a tremendous rate and do have a testosterone rush at this stage - hence the rough games, anti-girlishness etc!

they will kick out at authority and want to be independent, but still need you when it all gets too much!  weather it out - stay firm and consistent but loving and open for them when they need you.  you'll get through it!

Answer 2

I have twins as well and they did the same thing at that age (or they tried to anyway)...I would give them a 5 minute time out sitting in the kitchen chair each time they said it and then at the end of the time out I would get eye level and remind them why they were in time out and that they may not talk to me like that. Literally after a week it stopped. You just have to be extremely consistent and do it every single time even if it happens right away again. Kids need to be able to predict the outcome of their actions before they can learn to control their actions.

My twins are now 13 and guess what, they are well behaved, respectful boys both honor roll students and have never needed a "shrink". Spanking is NOT necessesary.

I also have two younger children 11 and 8 who never really went through this issue but then they have had my oldest who are respecful as an example as well.

Answer 3

My own six year old daughter shows some of those behaviors too.  She's also picked up a bit of selective hearing this summer.  lol  I honestly think it's the age.  We need to stand firm in our positions as Mommy and make sure they show us respect!

Answer 4

No. This is the stage where they are looking for boundaries and its up to you as a parent ot provide them. You have a choice -  timeouts and later on a shrink for them or just spank the nonesense out of their systems which is cheaper and more effective.

Answer 5

tell them how sad it makes you when they talk to you like this and you must issue some form of punishment...naughty chair or take something of theirs away from them. do not ignore this behaviour or they will walk all over you.  

Answer 6

its just a stage i know lots of people with 6 yr olds like that

Answer 7

Uhhhhmmmm, yeah!  I have a 6 year old boy and it has (by far) been the toughest age so far!  He is defiant and hyper, impossible to please, mouthy, and hyper...did I say hyper....yeah, hyper!  Other than trying to always keep your cool and attemp to reason with them, there isn't much you can do.  We are on a point system.  He has an activity every Saturday that he LOVES.  He gains points (he has to have 30 a week to go) by doing chores and having good behavior.  He loses points for unruley behavior.

Answer 8

Time to take them across your knee,

bare the backside and spank..

That seems to bring back the respect.

You can't let them get away with this when they are 6

Nip in t he budd!

Answer 9

Yes, I have a 6 year old daughter who is testing me in exactly this way.  If I tell her the sky is blue, she'll tell me it's purple just to disagree with me.  LOL  I think they are just testing the boundaries to see how much they can get away with and it's our job to set them properly.  I've adopted the "don't sweat the small stuff" attitude with my daughter to at least make the number of arguments in a day less.  Sometimes I think that we, as parents, forget to let our kids be kids.  Some things that they do, we can let go.  "Don't mess up the living room" doesn't matter that much if no one is coming over, so long as they clean the mess when they're done.  Stuff like that.  Rest assured, the attitude of a 6 year old does improve.  My 8 year old isn't as defiant as he was when he was 6....now he's just mouthy when he agrees to do something I ask.  LOL  (ain't parenting grand?)