Does anyone have a child like this?

Question

My 5 year old is hyper..can't concentrate in school, so he is behind academically..he is in special ed because I knew I had no choice..he understands right from wrong..but does wrong anyway, such as hitting his brother not listening to me..i hired a behavior therapist, so now I learned to become strict at home..and its working..but what about school? He is so far behind, he is not focused..I have taken him to Dr.s and they say behavior problem..should I put him on meds to take him down a notch so he can focus in school..at hiome I can handle him..but noone else could..Though I must add in he is sweet , loves to kiss and can be a darling at times..

Answer 1

You do have a few options to explore.  First, 5 years old is considered an optional kindergarten age.  You could pull your son out of school and enroll him in kindergarten next year, spending this year letting him run off energy and instituting home discipline.  You would work with him on letters and such at home in the meantime.  It appears that he should repeat kindergarten, and it is probably school policy that he not have the same teacher.  Whether your son is in school this year or next year, he must have a functional behavioral assessment.  Request this in writing and insist that a trained behaviorist do the FBA and that it be thorough.  Do not accept such things as teachers merely submitting check-lists, or a principal sitting in one or two partial days.  When you meet to discuss the FBA, have your home behavior therapist attend the meeting.

It is well-established that you are dealing with a behavior problem, but we must determine the cause before we can determine the best solution.  ADHD is a possibility, but so are other things.  My friend above is right about ear infections; they are common in this age and can go undiagnosed.  Also, abuse - physical, emotional, or sexual - can result in acting-out behavior and poor learning.  It may also be accompanied by bed-wetting.  Emulation is another possibility.  Does his father or another person to whom your son is close behave poorly?  

I believe you that he is sweet.  Speaking objectively, is he truly sweet or is there any manipulativeness to it?  Meaning, is he sweet for gain?  This can take some attention to detect.

I have to say this, but be alert for cruelty to animals and fire-starting.  If you see these behaviors, take him to the psychiatrist immediately.  That would be the extreme of problem behavior, though.

Medication is a very personal choice.  There are advocates for it and staunch opponents.  I would personally have a hard time putting my child on psychotropic medication, and might even resort to home-schooling before I did that.  But, as I said, it is a totally personal opinion.  That said,  I have taught a few kids for whom medication was essential to their learning, and with it they were academically successful.

Answer 2

I have heard of a very similar situation. I know of a gifted child that is also hyper and must take a prescription to help him focus on his school work. Many people have a pre-conceived notion that giving your child this medication is not healthy, this is something that you and your doctor must decide. But it is possible that this solution will allow your son to focus more in school, and potentially correct his behavior. My advice is to talk to your doctor more, and school administrators.

Answer 3

How far behind is your 5 year old son?  What grade is he in?  I would guess he is in kindergarten and learning the basics (i.e., numbers, letters, letter sounds, counting 1 - 100, shapes, and colors).  What is the disability which he qualifies for Special Education?  Is the doctor willing to give any type of diagnosis other than behavior problems?  Before putting your son on medication you should expect the doctor to give you a diagnosis other than him/her saying he has behavior problems.  

Has your son passed a hearing screening through the doctor's office?  If your son has had a lot of ear infections, they might have damaged his hearing and he may need ear tubes.  I would suggest that you get your son's hearing tested immediately if he has had a lot of ear infections.  

My youngest daughter had tons of severe ear infections and I felt she was not listening to me, would hit her ears constantly, bang her head on the floor,  and would fight with her sister.  However, I found out that because of her ear infections she needed to have ear tubes put in place.  After I had the ear tubes put in place she can hear a lot better and has done better in school.