Does anyone have any good jokes?

Question

Does anyone have some good clean jokes.

Thanks in advance

Answer 1

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place."

So, the engineer reports to the gates of h**l and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in h**l, and starts designing and building improvements. After awhile, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in h**l?"

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

Answer 2

Multitasking  





Question raised in a gender linked philosophy class

"If women are so good at multitasking, how come they cannot have a

headache and s*x at the same time?"

Answer 3

Dave was feeling depressed, and his best friend Keith decided to take Dave to the Pub, to try and cheer him up. He asked Dave what was it that was troubling him, but Dave didn't want to talk about it. So they sat there getting slowly pissed.

Keith matched Dave drink for drink, trying to get him to talk about what was troubling him. Gentle prodding was ignored until finally, after downing the sixth, Dave blurted out, "OK, it's your wife."

"My wife?" his Keith demanded. "What about my wife?"

"I think she's cheating on us."