Does anyone have any tools they used for transition older (age 4,5,6) children who they adopted?

Question

By this I mean the children were about ages 4,5,6 when you adopted them and how did you transition them to your house.

I am interested in hearing your stories.

Answer 1

Well I can't answer any tools I personally used to transition older children when they were adopted, but I was adopted as an older child and some things that really helped me transition from faster homes to the home I was to live until I grew up were -

My new family made it clear that this wasn't just another family I was going to live with for a few days and then going to leave. They explained that I was to stay there and this allowed me a chance to feel a sense of belonging.

Another thing my new family did was that they tried not to make it a HUGE thing that I was becoming apart of the family. As a child, it was really special to just become apart of a family without them bringing added attention to me. treating me like one of their children was all I wanted, not to be treated differently.

It was also really nice when they made a point of asking me how I was feeling from time to time and allowing me to be able to fully express myself without punishment.

Overall, transitions are really hard, but the most important thing is to let the child know they are wanted, welcome, but make sure you DON'T overwhelm them with too much too soon! go slowly ! - good luck!

Answer 2

I have adopted three toddlers who came home at 1 1/2 and 3. We are still in transition, however here are some of the bonding and attachment activities that we used successfully.

www.adoptive-parenting.com/bonding.htm...

One new habit I had to create in myself was telling my children what I was doing. If I picked a child up from bed, I told her - now we are going to change your diaper and then we will have breakfast. Keep in mind your child doesn't know your intention - t hey have no point of reference.