Does anyone have really funny jokes?

Question

Last night I was searching the internet for funny jokes and I laughed at none of them. Does anyone have really funny jokes that will make me laugh? Thank you to everyone helping.

Answer 1

Here's a joke:

Women's rights =O

Answer 2

A bus is driving some girls to an all girl catholic school.  The bus crashes and some of the girls get out, but three die.  Those three go to heaven.  Peter asks them if the had touched a p***s.  Amanda, the first girl, said, "Well, I did touch one."  Peter says, "Very well, put your hand in the holy water and go in."  The next girl goes up and Peter says, "Jennifer, have you-"  At this point Emma breaks him off and says, "Petah, i wanna drink my holy water before Jenny sticks her asss in it!"

A man finds a genie lamp along the beach.  The genie pops out and asks him what his three wishes are

1.  A million dollors

           POOF he gets a million dollars

2. A new Mercedes-Benz

            POOF he gets a new Mercedes-Benz

3. Loved by all women

            POOF  he turns into a box of chocolates

Answer 3

HAHAHAHAHA OMG WHAT AN a*****e LMFAO

Answer 4

A little boy was doing his maths homework.

He said to himself,

"Two plus five, the son of a bitc... is seven.

Three plus six, the son of a bitc... is nine..."

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"

The little boy answered, "I'm doing my maths homework, Mom."

"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.

"Yes," he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you

teaching my son in maths?"

The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."

The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, the son of a bitc... is four?"

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

Answer 5

My brother just sent this too me. I laughed till i cried.

The president was briefed this morning. Bush was told that 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq. To everyone’s amazement, all the colour ran from Bush’s face, then he collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken, almost whimpering. Finally, he composed himself and asked “ just exactly how many is a Brazilian?”