Does anyone have weird/scary thoughts after the death of a close family or friend?

Question

If so what do you experience? What kinds of thoughts do you have and how do you deal with it?

Answer 1

For several months a few years ago, I was having a recurring nightmare that involved my mother.  Mostly it involved her being in either a burning car or a car that was sinking into a lake.  I was trying to get to her, to help her, but my feet were stuck to the ground.  I would become hysterical in my dream, terrified, and woke up crying, sweating and shaking.

This dream occurred at least once a week for a period of about three months.  My mother and I have never had a very good relationship, although we don't fight now like we did when I was much younger.  (I am 58 now and she is 76.)

I told my best friend, Kathe, about the dream and we spent many hours talking it over, trying to figure out what was going on with me.  I finally realized that I had been repressing some anger at her for many, many years over something she did that hurt my father (who I dearly loved) and I needed to let go of that anger.  I did and it has not occurred in several years now.

I know that this is not exactly what you asked about, but I believe that it might give you a fresh perspective on things.  There are two points I'd like to make here.  I don't know what your relationship was with your deceased friend/family member, but if it involved anger or guilt, let it go.  Holding on to that now is an exercise in futility.  Talk to a close friend or go to the therapist who will help you talk through those feelings.  It worked for me.

The second thing is... I have had scary thoughts about my beloved father in the last six months.  Things in my dreams that I would NEVER think of him doing while he was alive.  Some of them were just things he would do that were totally out of character for him, but a few times, I dreamt of things of a slightly sexual nature.  It is very disturbing to me to think such things about a man I looked up to and admired as much as I did my father. (And no, I was NEVER abused by him or anyone else.)  But I intend to go back to my own words... I'm going to talk to someone about it.  Either my best friend (who helped me before; she's very wise) or a therapist if I need to.  I don't want these thoughts to destroy my peace of mind or the beautiful memories I have of my father.

I also have a very dear friend who passed away several years ago... right after my father died.  For several months last year, I kept dreaming that she was not dead at all, that she had been off "finding herself" and just wanted to be left alone.  That was disturbing, but thankfully those dreams have passed on.

What I'm trying to say is... talk it out; don't hold it in.  And don't be afraid or ashamed of talking to a professional if you need to.  That's what they are trained for and they do NOT judge you and they do NOT think you're crazy.  That is such an outdated concept.  Trust someone to help you help yourself.  

Answer 2

When I was thirteen, my Dad died. We were walking home at night, messing around. He walked ahead of me and across the road, but the car didn't stop. I remember every moment of it, seeing him lying in the middle of the road. He died at the scene and I never forgave myself, or the driver.

I started having nightmares where I saw my Dad lying in the road, but I couldn't help him because I couldn't seem to reach him. I had these dreams almost every night and replayed the accident in my head. We later found out that my Dad was hit by a drunk driver and I started having the nightmares worse. I didn't talk to anyone about it, not even my family. I was angry with myself for not seeing the car coming and angry at the driver for being so careless. I started thinking that it was my fault and that if it weren't for me, my Dad would still be alive. I blamed myself for what happened and starting hating myself for it.

It was only when I talked about it that it was made better. I couldn't see it myself, but talking to someone else showed me that it really wasn't my fault. Nothing I did would change what had happened and I needed to move on. Talking to someone really helped me - it was my wife and counselor who eventually helped a lot.

Answer 3

this is normal..

one tends to rethink about our lives and i guess if they were close one may suffer a little depression...(depression being a illness that relates to a loss of a person or even job etc)

everyones thoughts will be different to yours depending on their personality..

maybe speak to mutual friend of the person that passed away and explain how you are hurting

Answer 4

http://www.etfrc.com/ChemicalImbalances....

go to this link and read it and don't let anyone tell you grief is not normal. Feel free to IM or email me too.