Does anyone know a gross joke?

Question

i want something that is gross

Answer 1

Once upon a time, there was a guy sunbathing in the nude. He saw a little girl coming towards him, so he covered himself with the newspaper he was reading. The girl came up to him and asked "What do you have under the newspaper, mister?"

"A bird," the guy replied. The little girl walked away and the guy fell asleep.

When he woke up, he was in a hospital in tremendous pain. When the Police asked him what happened, the guy replied, "I don't know. I was lying on the beach, this girl asked me about my privates, and the next thing I know is I'm here."

Police went back to the beach, found the girl, and asked her "What did you do to that naked fellow?"

After a little pause, the girl replied, "To him? Nothing. I was playing with the bird and it spit on me, so I broke its neck, cracked its eggs, and set its nest on fire."

Answer 2

Visiting a lawyer for advice, the wife said, "I want you to help me get a divorce.

The Lawyer says OK, what are your grounds.

My husband is getting a little q***r to sleep with."

"What do you mean?" asked the attorney. "Does he force you to indulge in unusual s*x practices?"

"No," replied the woman, "and neither does the little q***r."  

Answer 3

the gross jokes are the dead baby jokes

1. wats the difference between a corvette and a bag of dead babies?

   the corvette isnt in my garage

2. y did the dead baby cross the road?

   because it was stapled to the chicken

3. wats the fastest way to paint a wall red?

   throw dead babies at it.