Does anyone know any good Chuck Norris jokes?

Question

Just wondering!

Answer 1

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

02 Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

03 Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

04 If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

05 Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

06 When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

07 Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

08 Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

09 They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take **** from anybody.

10 A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

Answer 2

chuck norris doesn't sleep. he waits.

Answer 3

Visit www.chucknorrisfacts.com!!  

Answer 4

chuck norris doesn't ask what time it is. he decides what time it is.

chuck norris can beat a brick wall in tennis.

Answer 5

Chuck Norris's calender goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd because nobody fools around with Chuck Norris

When Chuck Norris jumped into the ocean he didn't get wet the water got Chuck Norris

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer because Chuck Norris is always in control

Chuck Norris can eat only one Lays Potato Chip

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because only uses the element of surprise

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

Chuck Norris CAN believe its not butter.

Chuck Norris Can divide by zero

It only takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes

Chuck Norris ordered a Whooper at Wendys and got one

Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Germany

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer

Some people wear superman pajamas, Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door

Some kids play kick the can, Chuck Norris plays kick the keg