Does anyone know exactly how families are selected during or before a RAS?

Question

My husband & I are adopting from DCC and have had our home studies submitted for several children. However, we haven't heard back about any of them. For one, it has been over a month. We haven't gotten any word on if the child has been placed or not. We don't want to keep asking our Matching Specialist a lot of questions since we figured if they had good news to share they would.

Serious answers, please

Answer 1

You dont have to ask a lot of questions just ask them if they have any news. Tell them that your concerned because its been a month...  

Answer 2

We have spent the last year and a half in your position.  No worries, it's ok.

#1, you don't hear anything back unless you are chosen.  Don't get attached to any particular child.

#2, Always feel free to call your worker and ask questions.  It's important that you know you can go to them, and it's always better if you can get to know them better.

#3, We waited from October 2006 until last month before we found out we were going to committee for the first time.  The wait time is different for everyone, and there are a lot of factors that go into it (what restrictions do you have on the type of child you're prepared to parent?  There are so many individual caseworkers making decisions that you can't possibly say what their reasons are for choosing one family over another.  Each child has their own needs that the caseworker knows about but no one else does; so, the caseworker will be choosing families based on factors you don't know about.  Sometimes first parents have restrictions on who they are willing to let their child be adopted by, and sometimes caseworkers will try to meet those requests.  The newest families on the waiting list will be looked at last...so, you won't get chosen until your homestudy is at the top of the stack.  It took us about 19 months to get our homestudy to the top of the stack.  There are a million other factors, too.)  We were chosen for a little girl that we didn't feel we had the resources to parent.  We were almost chosen for another girl that we didn't go to committee for because I don't have documentation of my Native American heritage.  We were almost chosen for a little boy who's caseworker had to choose between families, and we were "cut" for unknown reasons.  Finally, we are going to committee for an 11 month old girl.  If we are not chosen to parent her, we have been chosen for an older sibling group, and will be going to committee for them.

Hunker down for a long wait, but be prepared for a call tomorrow.  You just never know.  And most important, if it takes a long time, DO NOT get discouraged!  It has nothing to do with you.  You have no way of knowing why they're making the decisions they make, so it can be really tough to get through the wait time not knowing what's going on.  Just don't let it get to you.

Best of luck!!!