Does anyone know how to start adoption process for non-biologial father adopting wife's child?

Question

I recently married late last year. My husband & I have been together for 5 years.

My daughter is 7 & her biological father has literally had absolutely nothing to do with her for over 5 years (his choice not mine). No visits, no phone calls, no birthday/christmas cards, nothing.

My husband & I are having a baby in August & my daughter would like to be adopted by my husband as well as have her sir name changed to the same as ours.

Does anyone know the best ways to start the process? I have no idea where my ex is & have no contact numbers for him. His family are unwilling to help.

Any advice will be very much appreciated :o)

Answer 1

Talk to a lawyer and have it posted in your newspaper. It's fairly easy to do. Takes about 6 weeks. Good Luck

Answer 2

I think in most states you have to go through family court pay a fee and have the biological father either give up parental rights and/or when he doesn't show up to court I believe it is granted. I have a friend in the process in the same situation and she is going through family court

Answer 3

I am not sure what State you live in.. but I know when I was 5..(I am now 35)  my bio father had nothing to do with me for over a year and my mother and step father went to the court house to file adoption papers. The courts gave them the tools that they needed to get the adoption taken care of and they went from there. I had to have a Guardian for a couple of months and they had put an ad in the Local and National Papers to let everyone know that the adoption was taking place. After 60 days I do believe the adoption went through because nobody had responded to the ad.

I would say that you and your new hubby need to go to the family division of your court house and talk to them and see what they suggest. It is sad that your child's Bio father isn't in her life. What a jerk. BUT... what your new hubby is doing is a WONDERFUL thing. It takes a REAL MAN to raise someone else's child and call them their own.

Good Luck to you all!

Answer 4

Blah

Seriously are you trying to please your new husband here ?

I get that your ex has been a complete waste of space but he is biologically HER father.

If he wants to give up his rights as a father and have your new husband adopt her then FINE

But find your ex and ask him FIRST

If you want to have the same name as the current husband then get it done by deed poll.

Then work on getting hold of your ex and asking for him to put her up for adoption for your husband

But seriously she is 7 years old, she has no idea of the true implications of this

If your ex wants to put her up for adoption to your husband then Fine Great have a great life, but he is still biologically her father and should get a say in that

Answer 5

Have you read this question?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Why is having the same surname so important?  Let her BE herself.

Second marriages have a 65% failure rate.

I know it's convenient for you, but probably not so good for her.  It's not fun to have your identity stripped away.

Answer 6

I would suggest starting with an adoption attorney.  Your daughter's biological father would need to sign away parental rights unless they were revoked by court order.  An attorney would know all of the legal steps that would need to be taken.

Good luck and congrats on the new baby!

Answer 7

Do you realise that if your husband adopts your daughter it will change her birth certificate? Unbelievable but true - I know this first hand as it happened to me 25yrs ago. My birth certificate says that I was born to my stepfather (adoptive parent) & that my birth was not registered until 1982 when I was in actually born in 1974.

Apparently it is common practice. I changed my name back to my birth fathers name by deed poll in 1996 but still I am required to use the adoptive birth certificate along with an 'official change of name' certificate. NOT FAIR - my original birth certificate is stamped in big red letters with NOT FOR OFFICIAL USE.

Please be careful. Your daughter WILL want to find her biological father one day, no matter how wonderful a parent her stepfather is it is only natural that she will want to see where her "other half" comes from. I know, I've been there. She may also want to reclaim her biological identity by taking her fathers name - it would be nice for her if she didn't have to go through the same dramas I do when trying to prove my identity.

I'm sorry your daughter has a deadbeat dad but she has a great family life with your husband and her new sibling on the way. If you want to make her feel more like she fits in around the family unit then just casually change her surname for school (you can do it through deed poll or simply change it on the school roll).

I'm sure your daughter will thank you in another 10yrs for not making any kind of adoption official - after all that piece of paper does not mean much to a 7yr old but it may mean a world of heartache for a 17yr old.

My mum thought she was doing the right thing too.

Answer 8

You need to consult a family law attorney.  He will know how to handle the search for your child's biological father to meet the requirements of the law and how to prepare the adoption case for the court.  Many lawyers have a free first consultation, so you could  go to 2 or three before making a choice.

Answer 9

Okay, I do not agree that you need to "Find" yout ex because you Ex knows where you are he should of came foward by now.  Stop worrying about the Ex because he is a grown adult worry about the child only.

The process is simple.  Most states say that if a bio-parents goes 12 months without contact and non-payment rights can be terminated.  File the papers for adoption and if his Family will not help you find him the attorney will pull up his records on the massive database they have access too.  They will find everywhere he lived in the past 5 years and then you will have to post an ad in the paper stating the declaration to adopt.  If they find an address on him then they will mail him a certified letter.

From here it is his choice, he can either sign paperwork and sign her over, not do nothing and then courts severe his rights, or get an attorney and try to fight.  But let me tell you 5 years, he won't have much leg to stand on.

I am just tired of people saying, He's the natural/real father.  He may be the sperm donor and father, but he is not Her Daddy and it takes someone special to be a child's Daddy.  So go for it.

Answer 10

She is 7 years old!  She doesn't know what being adopted means.  She just wants to fit in with her family and not be "different".  She doesn't need a new last name. She needs to be reassured that even though things are changing she is still very important to you.  She needs to know that the new baby isn't a threat to her.  All kids go through that when a new baby comes into the family, different father or not.

Don't get mad at Sunny for being realistic and practical. No one goes into a marriage thinking that it will fail.  

Are you adopted? If not, why not listen to the people who have been adopted and think about what it really means and what impact it could have on your daughter in the future.  Your new husband can love her and father her and be a very important part of her like. All it takes it love and action, not a piece of paper.  Let her decide when she is truly old enough to understand what adoption means. She is only 7 years old, what is the most important decision  you had to make when you were 7? Do you think that you would have the ability to make a life changing decision at 7? I don't.  There is no harm in waiting.

Answer 11

A good friend of mine was adopted by her mother's second husband, and I think that worked out really well for all parties involved.  However, I think that this is the exception and not the norm.   Your daughter probably feels a little left out of your new family, so you need to work on making sure she understands that she is a part of it too.  Changing her name and having your new husband formally adopt her is pretty drastic, especially since later in her life she may want a relationship with her biological father.

I don't have any advice other than I know people where this did not work out so hunky dory, but I also do know of one family, where it did, but again, like I said I think that is the exception rather than the rule in cases like these.

Answer 12

The process is simple: you need an egg firm to buy the egg.