Does anyone know of a haitian translation ?

Question

I need to know of a haitian translator program or something..Or can someone please translate these two sentences for me

ja ne huis daka nua lipao JC!!

Jaja nuq relams yicoa astronautei! En faques u lif!

Answer 1

this is not haitian kreyol, or any form of kryol french that i know of  

Answer 2

That is Vietnamese.  Its translation to Chinese is "Muckahoy Ding ding, astronautski."

Now all you need is to translate that to English.

Hope that helps.

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