Does anyone no how to find a good open adoption couple?

Question

ok so im 16 and pregnant and i really wannt find my baby a good adoptive couple because he/she deserves the best. me and my boyfriend (the babys father) have desicided to do open adoption so we can still see our baby. and yes i no save me the lectures about me bein a teen and pregnant i no i no.. i used birth control condoms and the day after pill but i guess all that isnt enough to save u some times even if you do take it like your suppose to... well me and my boyfriend believe everything happens for a reason but we wanna make sure that the couple we choose will let us see our child at least once a month and send us pictures. maybe even around diamond bar california or hunnington beach or idk somewhere that isnt that far of a drive.. just asking for advice thank you for those who have any information for me =]

Answer 1

Well, I am not sure about in CA, but I live in TX and I used Catholic Family Services when I put my 1st son up for adoption.  I was in the same situation as you and it worked out wonderfully.  It doesn't matter what your religion is or even if you are religious or not really.  I did an open adoption and picked out the parents.  You tell them what you are looking for and they find couples that match that criteria.  We met before I had the baby and then everything just went from there.  Let me tell you that this will be the hardest thing you will ever do, so be prepared.  It is very hard to see the baby and then have to give him or her away, but it is so worth it.  They have given Jack the best life possible, better than I would have been able to do at the age of 17.  If that is what you want to do, then I commend you.  Not many young girls decide to do this so you must be pretty mature and strong.  I will warn you that some people will try to talk you out of adoption, saying you should keep the baby, but you need to do what is in your heart and what you feel is best for you, but most of all what is best for the baby.  Good luck and stay strong!!

BTW, you can email me if you have any other questions or concerns.

Answer 2

Hi sweetie, I just finished reading your question. If that's what you fill you need to do then do it at least you are thinking about the child and not just your self. I thank you for not having a abortion that's only messing your body up. I wish I was in your area so i could be there for you and with you to help you raise your child. I don't have much and I have 4 beautiful kids of my own and I love kids, I am 41 years old my kids ages are 20, 17, 15 and 11 and I would love to have a little one in my house hold, I am divorced and raised them alone by the grace of God. No grandchildren but I keep other peoples kids a lot.  So your are doing the rite thing if you want a good home for your child. I show wish I was in your area to help you out.   May you be blessed in your decision

Answer 3

although i would encourage you not to make a decision about adoption until after you deliver (the baby becomes real and you'll find that it's a lot different then you think...this isn't juno hun:-), if you are interested in adoption, please go through an agency.

many people on-line were not approved through agencies and you can't be sure that they will not hurt your child.

also, open adoption is NOT enforceable. that means that once you give them your child...they can change the adoption and you are forever cut out of the picture.

please get a bit more information before making this choice...and wait until after your baby is born and "real" to you. in addition, i'd encourage you to look into parenting options and assistance programs before making this choice.  from your questions, you and your boyfriend expect to keep contact...have you thought about what will happen if contact ends???  it's a real possiblity. if you are making an adoption plan based on the belief that you will see your child regularly, i STRONGLY ADVISE that you not move on this too quickly.

contact a local health department (they can also help you with prenatal care) and speak with a counselor about your choice.

hang in there...and

you are not the first to get pregnant as a teen nor the last.  you have NOTHING to feel bad about!

good luck

Answer 4

I agree with the others that you shouldn't make any final decisions until your baby is born. I also agree that, at least in most states, open adoption is not legally enforceable.

However, if you decide adoption is the right path for you, your best option might be to choose to place your child with a family that already has an adopted child in an "open adoption," and has shown commitment to upholding their end of it. If they have been honoring their promises for one child, chances are pretty good they'd honor them for the other child, too.

Answer 5

Open adoption is NOT legally enforceable.  No matter how much the couple says they plan to have an open adoption, you have no way of knowing for sure, and you have no way to guarantee your involvement in your child's life.

I understand that most of the people in our society today believe that it's better to be raised by two older, married, well-off parents, than it is to be raised by poor, young, unmarried biological parents.  Society's beliefs are WRONG.  The only thing in the entire world your baby knows is YOU, and I guarantee, your baby doesn't give a flying hoot if you're married or not, whether or not you have money, or how old you are.  The only thing in the world your baby wants is you.  And there are plenty of programs to help you if you change your mind and decide to keep your baby.

Answer 6

I agree you should research all resources available to help you raise your child before considering adoption. Many excellent parents were young and unmarried. Don't sell yourself short!

If, however you ultimately consider adoption, California does have enforceable post adoption contact agreements, provided they are properly written and filed.

There are several non-profit agencies that advertise they encourage and support open adoptions. One is the Independent Adoption Center, http://www.adoptionhelp.org/



Although I have no personal experience with them, I read they were the original sponsor of the California post adoption agreement enforceability statute, on the opposite side of most agencies.