Does anyone understand why birth/first mothers are in so much pain and angry?

Question

Does anyone understand why birth/first mothers are in so much pain and angry?

Answer 1

I know why I am.

I have to listen to people tell me how "brave, strong and selfless I am"  Sorry but that is a load of BS.

We are told repeatly that we will get over it.

We are told that we are the stereotype when infact the minority are the stereotype that is placed out there.

I am told that I don't know fact, when I do know what happens in my state.

I am told lies.

I am told that there is no coercion, which is another lie.

I am denied to know about them but, heck, they get to know all about me.

I have to listen to people tell me how I should feel when they have not walked in my shoes.

I have to deal with the fact that I was treated as a second class citizen by a health care professional.

Answer 2

Wee've given up a part of us. The day you hand that precious little baby over, part of you goes with it.

People stereotyoe us as people who didn't love our babies enough to keep them. They think we've abandoned our babies.

We're told how to act, feel and do. We're told "Oh, you'll get over it"

It's difficult to know that yu won't get to see your baby grow, what they'll be like, see their first steps, hear their first words, take them to their first day of school.

I was blessed with an open adoption, so I'll get to see a little of what happens, but I won't always get to be there. That little precious baby is my life and it hurts that I won't get to be there.

Answer 3

Its not easy to lose a child, or a parent for any reason. That alone I would say is enough of a reason to be in pain, or a number of emotions.

Answer 4

Cause guys get all the pleasure and we get all the pain??

Answer 5

It's a life changing event and angry might not be the right word.   Maybe if the dad is involved, he could help out more.

Answer 6

wll they never been pregnant before

so they wouldn't know how it feels

they moods change like people change their underwear

do u think they would be mad and in so much pain if it happend alot of times?

and giving birth hurts periodd.

Answer 7

Many were conned into thinking they were doing something brave and good by giving up their own flesh and blood.  They THOUGHT they were doing "the right thing".  They were told that their baby would be better off without them and that they themselves would get a second chance, another chance at building a successful life in this world.  Then they find out that their loss and their child's loss is greater than any other personal loss ever.

A mother losing her child is unequivocally the greatest personal loss in all other human stories.  Miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, childhood illness and accidental deaths are all recognized as tragedies.  They are final.  

But losing a child simply because society says, you're not a "good enough parent" doesn't end.  Your child is out there, living, growing, changing and missing you.  How can you get over something that keeps growing?  A loss that keeps getting bigger?

Answer 8

Not all birth mothers are

Some are

Some are not

I have a cousin that was raped, and have her son up

The parents that adopted him, send her photos on his bith day thourh the agency

She, could not ever have another child.  She regret the way she got pregnant.  But she understand that giving up the child was the best thing for her, and him.

She regret not being able to have a child of her own.  

She is not in pain or angry

If dependes on the person.  Some people do not have regrets about putting up thier child for abopion.  It the best thing for them.

Some poeple regret having abortion.  Some people do not

Most people who are in pain or angry, I would say was not able to keep the child for reasons other then what they felt best.  My cousin is one who knew and understand what she was doing

I know many people who adopted.  My brother did.  She looks like him.  Everyone comments on how much they look a like.  Him and his wife, tried for years.  They had many mis-carriages.  They adopted a baby girl, they could not have.

It was the secoud time, a birth mother pick them.  The first time, the mom change her mom after the baby was born.

It was upsetting for them.  They always knew their a chance, and was willing to do this twice.

Going through the a adoption, is not easy for the parents.  

Adoption is a answer for some people, not all people.

The mothers you are talking about, should never went though it.  

Some birth mothers are content with their decicion.  

Not all birth mother are in pain or angry.

Not all think are content with the decision either

People looking into adoption, giving up there child should need to know what they are doing.  Some does the right thing, and they know it.

Answer 9

Boy, I like to think that I have enough empathy for another human being who has suffered a loss to understand why they feel angry.

I may/may not agree with where their anger is directed (depends on situation), but I think I can empathize enough to understand why they're angry.

Answer 10

Why yes, actually, I do.

It's because we lost our children. And anger and pain are typical, run-of-the-mill, ordinary reactions to loss.

Ever read Elizabeth Kubler-Ross?

Answer 11

They were told that they were doing the right thing.  They were told that they as single women couldn't raise their own children right.  Only two married adoptive parents could do a perfect job.  Some of these adoptees were raised as property and accessories to their adoptive parents. I know many adoptees who were abused by their adoptive parents.  Adoption and abortion for that matter is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  If many of these women were given resources, they could have raised their children just as good if not better than adoptive parents.