Does anyone want to critique this poem? Feel free, but not obliged.?

Question

YOUNG ALBERT (Part 1)

Poor Albert was a shy young lad, who didn't mix too well,

and when he started his new school, his classmates made life h**l.

He liked to draw, he liked to write, he liked to read and think -

the others liked football and sports, so he was 'out-of-sync'.

The other pupils thought him 'odd', they mocked his speech, his looks.

He had no friends amongst his peers; his only friends were books.

But there was one to whom he dearly wished he could relate -

a girl he hoped to find the nerve to ask out on a date.

A mere three desks away from him sat lovely Lucy Brown -

at last the lad dared ask her out - she flatly turned him down!

"I don't go out with geeks or freaks", she had so cruelly said,

in his humiliation Albert wished that he was dead.

Sorry, I'm going to have to continue this, there's not enough room here. Go to Part 2.

Answer 1

i think it's wonderful, it kinda explains people in todays society, just better words,and you rocked the scenery you drew for us with u're words, so do us a favor and ureself and dont stop writin

Answer 2

Quite an interesting story, I must admit, but I fear I know all too well where this is going. However, I will not assume that I know everything, but will dutifully read the next. Your rhyme and meter is good, as well as your story-telling ability.

Answer 3

Nah, I don't believe you wrote that. Nobody's that good unless they're dead. Did you copy it? It's too unbelievably perfect.