Does being a stay-at-home-mom/dad "suck the intelligence" out of a person?

Question

I was recently discussing single parenthood with a guy friend of mine recently divorced w/kids. We were talking about career women and those with advanced degrees. He made the "suck the intelligence" statement openly. I was surprised to hear him say such a thing. He elaborated about someone getting back in the workforce and how their skill set is gone/eroded.

Answer 1

Ouch, harshness.

When my mom stayed at home she was smart; when she went back to work she was still smart.

Maybe divorce sucks the social skills out of a person? The world may never know...

Answer 2

No, I don't think it "sucks the intelligence" out of a person.  I would agree that, depending on your field and how long you were gone, you may go back to the work force and discover that your skill sets are outdated.

Answer 3

No. That's total bullshit. Raising kids the right way is probably the most important job in the world. And it takes plenty of smarts and guts and ingenuity to do it. And doing a good job of it makes getting "advanced degrees" and following the formulaic dictates ot the workplace look easy by comparison.

Answer 4

In a way, it can increase your likelihood of being taken advantage of by others. Once people find out you're a stay-at-home mother, you will find yourself being asked to babysit their children. Then since they figure you have the time, you will be asked to handle all the fundraising, planning, food preparation, and advertising for various children's sports or other activities. It's amazing how these women do so much work for free and there are people who take advantage of that.

Answer 5

Only in the sense that you pass your knowledge on to your children. I think intelligence is gained from life experiences as well as from academic education, so raising children could be a valuable learning curve in itself. :)

Answer 6

Nah it depends on what you do at home.

I rarely just sit watching TV.

Actually I dont watch TV at all cuzI don't have or want one.

Most of my time is spent teaching our kids academic things so they can do what they want and have an advantage over there competition.

And it can be stimulating for me.

Answer 7

I believe your friend may have a valid point. I was off work and stayed home for about a year at one time and when I did go back to work I kind of had this feeling that my brain was somewhat mushy. We train our brains for certain types of learning and I believe it is true that if you don't use it, you lose it.

Answer 8

Only when and if they fail to seek it.  When you want to know ask and seek; never lie about waiting for it to come to you.

Answer 9

while i agree that it is hard to get back into your field of work after taking a leave of absence and they made need new training to catch up, i do NOT think that sacrificing your Career to stay home with your baby is unintelligent.

i would love to be able to stay home with my son, but i can't afford to.

also, i would think that many SAHM/SAMDs could really use the wee bit of extra time to read, write, bone up on hobbies/interests they didn't have time for when they had a 40 hour a week job. as a writer, i would love to just be able to write from home with my son on my lap.

Answer 10

Not if they actively pursue hobbies/interests that keep their skills sharp.  For example a friend who was a SAHM and me organized (by request) our sons' hockey league.     We did the incorporation, bylaws, policies and procedures, fundraising, events, set up books and accounting procedures, and the IRS form 1023 for the org to become a non-profit.     She was able to use those skills again for an employer when she went back to work.

Answer 11

Only if they let it happen. Most of the stay-at-home parents I've encountered here put their education to use through independent study.

Answer 12

He's full of c**p, I'm sorry to say! I use my brain an awful lot as an at-home mom. I have to.

Answer 13

It certainly doesn't negatively affect the IQ, but it does limit the exposure to other adults and challenging conversation.  Many women I know hate that most about their status of SAHM, if they were in the workforce previously.  Their conversations generally devolve to encompass children's issues...and they crave a good conversation with adults.

Answer 14

i don't think so. i know many stay at home parents who are very intelligent.

Answer 15

I don't believe that one will loose their intelligenge.  Certain skills will certainly become obsolete with time, that goes for anyone that doesn't continue education in their specialized field throughout life.  I do believe that anyone with an advanced degree has been taught how to effectively think, giving them an advantage in learning.  Picking up new skills and concepts (that are an extension of their inset knowledge), to me, would be like trying to ride a bike after years of not riding - a little wobbly at first and steady within a couple of miles.  That being said, I absolutely believe that if determined, that person will be able to do what they had set out to do several years before.