Does depression go away and where do I begin? Its been several years.?

Question

My son is now 5, when he was born I was depressed. His father and I are no longer together (we never really were). I was living in Atlanta then, quit my job, left my car and apt. and moved home to my mother. I'm from a small town and seemed to have "made it" out until I returned. My family structure has never been too strong and I counted down the day I left my mothers house to never return (My 18th birthday). At 30, I returned with baby in hand. Now 5 years later, I am absolutley miserable. The thing is that I feel like I've dug such a hole by dropping everything that I cant get out. I jump from job to job due to stress and struggle financially. I owe my son a better life than living w/gramma and cant find a place to begin. I'm so stressed, frustrated and full of anxiety and depression. I want to be on my own again and not in this hick town. I also feel extremely guilty about the depression. But, i know if I move the stress will get worse with the added isolation. Any advice?

Answer 1

Depression can be both situational and long term. Situational depression has more to do with a temporary situation, and the long term is more related to a chemical imbalance in the brain. You might see if you qualify for medi-caid so you can try to get some free therapy just to talk it out and see which you may have. My guess is a lot of this has to do with your situation and you being your worst critic. Cut yourself some slack, you are a single mom just doing the best she can for now. That doesn't mean its forever. You need to take one step at a time. I left an abusive marriage after trying to work it out, I was very depressed and felt I really blew it. I thought nothing I could do would re-build my life. I ended up listening to that Christian song "One Day at a Time" just to make it each day. Now I am happily re-married, financially stable, and happy! :) This is temporary but you have to focus on today, get through each hour, keep your focus, set small goals that you can achieve. The only chance you have to fail is if you give up. Pray and ask for strength, be thankful that you had a Mom to go home to, for your son, for those jobs. Count your blessings so often that you lessen the time you have to think about what you don't have. Do this and I guarantee in time it will become easier to live with yourself, be happy and move forward.

Answer 2

I've suffered depression off and on since puberty.  I've come to accept that its just who I am and that I need to manage it.  I mostly go without antidepressants, but if I come under extreme stress I find no shame in doing so.  Don't feel guilty - depression is an illness.

It sounds to me that stress is your biggest problem right now.  You need to learn some better management techniques - like meditation.

I also recommend doing what you can to move out.  I lived with my in-laws for 2 years until recently.  Moving out sucks financially but having your own place and being in control is more than worth it.  Would you qualify for any public assistance until you can get back on your feet?

As for the isolation, are you getting good support from your family?  You mentioned past problems, but I remember well that I didn't appreciate my parents until my mid-20's. If you aren't getting support now or "toxic" support, then you'd be better off out of town.  Otherwise, I would be careful with any decision to drop your support network.

Another consideration is your job.  Would you have better opportunities in a larger town?

Good luck

Answer 3

Have you tried antidepressants? Also sounds like you might need some one on one or group counseling too. This will help you and your son. Things can and will get better for everyone involved if you help yourself get healthy first! And you have a lot of life to live yet so don't give up yet. My mom didn't even start her career until she was in her mid 30's and now she is a successful business owner!