Does having a child make me a w***e?

Question

I understand that it against the grain to have a child out of wedlock but why does that make me a w***e? Why do most people assume that I chose to have a child and not get married. Yes i get that i had s*x and that is a consequence of it but i was on birth control and was actually told by me doctor the chances of me conceiving were close to none! I chose to have my son instead of an abortion because i made my bed and i had to lay in it. I took on the responsibility of a child at the age of 19! My sons father and i are still together and not married (not by my choice). So i guess my question is do most people assume that i am easy or whatever just because i have a child and am not married or is it just a select few?

Answer 1

you are not a w***e. But....why settle with a man who doesn't want to marry you when you can find someone who will eventually?  You're in for the commitment but he isn't, so why settle?  You're 23 and have a full life ahead of you. You're closing your aura to attracting the right man for you.  He might be just around the corner waiting for you to be free from your present relationship.  Let go...don't wait for your bf, he might have other plans...or he might realize you are the one for him.

Answer 2

i believe it all really boils down to personal opinion. but i think you're doing great by making a responsible choice out of where you dared to admit you'd wronged and i'm sure you'll make a great mother for your child. thumbs up and all the best!

Answer 3

well i was with my bf(now hubby) 5yrs before we got married...wait as long as u can i mean some say why buy the cow when u can have the milk for free? that just assuming yall probably do things as a couple, yall already have a son, yall probably live together so he's probably thinking why get married when he's getting it all now as bf and gf? let him no hey weve been together for awhile now and u have -----amount of time to make it official or your gone simple as that ma! good luck

Answer 4

It doesnt make you a w***e at least not in my book  

Answer 5

No, you're not a w***e.  It could be construed as not having the best judgement, or just a bit of bad luck, or whatever. But since you're not out there pounding the streets, charging money for use of your body, you can't be considered that.

Answer 6

If you are good enough to s***w every day you should be good enough to marry. If he doesn't think so go find someone who does. I don't think your a w***e but looks like your son's daddy does are he would have married you before his son was born. Find a man who will love and cherish you, because you deserve better than him.

Answer 7

I don't think it matters what other people think. What is most important is what you think about yourself, and the choices you make and how they make you feel.

Mistakes you might have made in the past are past so they are irrelevant. Everyone on earth makes mistakes. The important thing is what you've learned, and how you choose to live your life from today.

Don't worry what others say, just try to be a good role model for your child. Try to live in a way you'd want your child to live their life. One thing you might ask yourself, would you want your child to wait for 5 years for someone to marry them? Or would you rather have them be so loved and cherished that someone would want to make an emotional and legal commitment to be with them?

Personally I wouldn't choose to live with guy unless we had dated long enough, and had both decided we loved each other enough to get married. Living with someone who was uncertain about a life with me would make me feel used and unimportant. Like I wasn't loved enough to make the strongest commitment posssible to (marriage), or that they didn't believe in the relationship strongly enough to commit to it. Also, I just wouldn't want to live with a series of different guys over time, "trying out" relationships. I just think I'm worth more than that and the idea of just "trying out" some guy. Well, I want a husband who is worth more then that! Not some guy who has just lived with a series of women. Yuck!

I think up to two years of dating someone and getting to know them should give them enough time to figure out if they want to be married to you or not. After that it's time to move on with your life, focus on your child, and eventually find someone who loves you enough to want to commit to you and be with you for life (and do not move in with any more BFs!!!).

After 5 years of living together I suspect your current BF has no motivation to marry you. He probably doesn't see any reason for it because he can't imagine you leaving, and by not committing to you it's MUCH easier for him to leave if he decides he wants to get out of the relationship, or develops feelings for someone else.

Answer 8

dont pay so much attention about other people!

angelina and brad pitt are not married also!

but did you ask your man why he doesn't marry you?

maybe is same thing to be concerne about !

good lucky and enjoy your baby!

Answer 9

that don,t make you a w***e! a w***e is a woman that goes around s******g every man they see.

Answer 10

yea i used to be closed minded but not anymore!

Having a child out of wedlock does not make you a w***e...