Does he only want me for my green card or am I paranoid?

Question

Hi everyone, I've been talking to an Armenian guy for about a month & a half now. He is really handsome & nice to me but he has made reference to sexual innuendoes, drinks, & smokes like a chimney. I want to take things slow & I told him this, but then he told me that they are going to send him back to Armenia & I asked him if he'd applied for citizenship. I'm a junior in college & focused on graduating, I also don't live in the same city as he does (he lives in my hometown) & because of this, it's been difficult to see one another. Basically, it's a long-distance thing.

Then he said that he has but it's not that simple & he wants to marry an American girl? I also told him that I want until I am married to have s*x (actually he guessed it) & then he said that was fine w/ him.

At 1st I was wary of his actions because I'm pretty socially conservative (don't drink/smoke, etc.) but he told me he liked me a lot & I said I don't want to rush things & let's just be friends 1st. We're going out next weekend because I'm still at school.

Do you think I should continue because I'm really not sure if he's using me, I like him as a friend--I just don't know if I like him as MORE than a friend?

Sorry this was so long...

Answer 1

just tell him u only want friendship for now, he will disappear if he is out to use u for a green card.don't rush into anything because he has an agenda here, its to marry an american,so he can remain here.

Answer 2

Don't make any quick decisions on it.  It sounds odd to me, too pushy is not a good sign.  If you have a bad feeling about it you may be right.  

Answer 3

If he's a good guy and has good reasons why not help him settle in the US? A friend of mine (German) helped a Canadian settle in Europe like this. But since you are young, you should be careful. Also, the procedure isn't that simple--you have to be earning enough to support the both of you--if what I heard is right. Check out the INS website for more information.

As I said earlier, if he is a good guy, why not help him? Be kind, but be cautious.

Answer 4

If you were from Armenia and was in the United States, wouldn't you do anything in your power to stay here?    

Sweetie, he's telling you everything you want to hear so he can eventually sweet talk and charm you into making the biggest mistake of your life.  Do NOT marry this man, matter of fact, I would cool things way down and then just take a look at his reaction to that.  He'll either turn on the charm even more or start looking for another naive victim.

People can be very charming and persuasive when they want something so look deeper into his intentions.  If something doesn't feel right to you, tune into that because intuition is our strongest sense that tells us that something is right or wrong.  

Answer 5

You have every right to be paranoid as well cautious it's a known fact that many foreign men/women use Americans to stay in this country my advice to you is this follow what your mind tells you & if your first instincts tells you to go slow and just be friends you do that. Don't let him pressure you into doing anything your not comfortable doing whether it be marriage/s*x. And be very careful of going out with him alone after all you don't know what he really may be thinking and dating him for only a month is way too soon to be talking s*x and marriage.  

Answer 6

Stick to your plan.  Graduation is what you need most for a secure life.  He will want s*x as is so very natural for guys and in addition the conditions to be a citizen, both influencing how he feels, and distorts his thinking about you.  It is really a small world.  He can come back to see you. Perhaps  years from now.  Keep in touch.  Keep to your beliefs.  Cheers.

Answer 7

He's just using you. Get out now.