Does he want to get married or is he playing me as a fool???

Question

My boyfriend and I have been engaged for about a year. When we first got engaged he was thrilled.... Now it's a year later and I have made many attempts to start the marriage process (get married) But now it's like he doesn't even want it anymore. What do I do??? I've set down tons of times and asked him if he wants to get married. He says yes he does but as soon as I make an attempt to get this process going. He just doesn't budge. I need advice plz. Be honest. Does he want to get married or is he playing me a fool??

Answer 1

He obviously wants to get married but getting married is a big responsibility and it involves a lot of time and money.

just ask him what is wrong and if he is having any trouble with the process, and if he still doesn't budge then I'm not really sure sorry.

Answer 2

Don't ask him if he wants to get married.  That is just an invitation to a one-word answer.  Ask him what his concerns are about getting married, or what he things the two of you should achieve before you get married.  That is an open ended question that can lead to a discussion.

Maybe he is afraid of getting married.

Maybe he is worried that you don't have everything in place yet, ie, house, money in the bank, etc.

Maybe he is worried about the expense of a wedding.

Maybe he has a fixed picture about what a wedding needs to be, and that picture is so expensive that he is putting it off as long as he can.

The only way you figure out what is going on in his head is to have a discussion.  Asking an open question (What do you think...) will be more effective than a yes-or-know question!

Answer 3

I think he is playing chicken with you. It looks like he has gotten cold feet, catch his bluff, if you call off the engagement, see what he does, if he gets upset then he just had cold feet, if not and he agrees, he was just stringing you along in the first place

Answer 4

I don't think he's playing you FOR a fool. It just may be that he's OK with a long engagement. And most guys just aren't too interested in planning the wedding. We don't know what looks good. We don't care. Our job is to show up in a tux. That's all we want to do and that's about all we can handle.

Answer 5

ia sorry to tell u that,but he is just playing with u...u love him?

Answer 6

Sounds like he does want to eventually but not sure when.  He could be playing games too.  You need to have a long serious talk and tell him your no longer interested in getting married.  See what he says and explain why your not (because he's really not).  This would be how you would really know.  He will either tell you he really wants to or he never wanted to.  Good luck either way.    

Answer 7

its hard to tell, some guys just might not be interested in that kind of planning

Answer 8

cold feet.  better now then after the wedding. move on

Answer 9

YOU KNOW HE'S PLAYING YOU - SO WHY ASK???????

Come on!!!  a guy wants to get married or he doesn!!  A guy that WANTS to get married is excited about setting a date, wants to 'tie the knot' and make you his.  A guy that doesn't want to get married has a million and one excuses why he can't make plans 'right now'.

Come on, sister, you know what;s going on, you just don't want to believe it!!

Answer 10

I think he's getting cold feet.  I would stop the planning if I were you and stop wasting your time with him.

Answer 11

He might simply be reluctant or afraid of marriage. Does not mean that he does not care about you. What I would do is stop the marriage planning and wait about a month or two. Then I would break off the engagement if he does not mention any marriage dates. Sometimes people are engaged for many years before they finally commit to it, really getting to understand one another. After a year together its difficult to see whether you are compatible, if he's balking at serious commitment then it seems an indication of what will happen within your marriage. I would look at the entire thing very closely then decide if I wanted to marry this person then and there.

Answer 12

i am in the same situation.

me and my fiancee became in engaged in Feb and we were both so excited.

we both decided to get married right out of highschool but now he is hesitant.

i know he still loves me and eventually wants to get married but i am confused about why he wants to wait.

stay with him, and love him. show him affection and act like a wife.

the more you act like it, the more he will hopefully want it. just leave the nagging for after the ceremony :]

good luck!

Answer 13

Sorry, don't think he's ready.

Answer 14

Doesn't sound as if he wants to get married. Sorry.

Answer 15

He might be scared or nervouse. you say its been about a year that you got engaged and you been asking many times about getting married. Maybe your scaring him cause he might have thought to be engaged for a year or so then do the marriage thing. Some guys see it was dating engagment and then marriage. Sit down and have a talk with him DONT BE PUSHY as him when he was thinking to get married?? ask him for his advise, and what is going through his mind. You need to be able to have an opne conversation before you get marriaged. My hubby and I almost got married in vegas after only knowing each other for 3 months becuase he was going to iraq we did not. i kept asking when we doing it and he started to seem as if he is he did not want to marry me anymore I decided to sit and talk to him and make plans we dicided it was best to wait till i came down with a heart problem then we jumped on the marrige and child thing. GL  

Answer 16

He's lazy. Get out your calendar, pick a date and tell him that's the day you're getting married. Then backtrack from there and say, "We need to pick out the flowers by this date, the guest list by this date," etc. etc. If he doesn't want to be involved, ask a friend or relative to help you. Don't let his lack of planning abilities determine your decision to marry him. Don't you know by now the guy's not good at organizing?

Answer 17

He is bored with you now. Time to move on with the sisterhood of the traveling pantsuits.

Answer 18

It sounds like he is not quite ready. He obviously loves you since he you are both engaged but he feels like its not the time yet. Let him come around on his own no need to rush.

Answer 19

Tell him if you're not getting married you don't want to be engaged.  I hate those people that are engaged for like 12 years then break up.  I don't know why they bothered in the first place.  

Answer 20

Tell him that if he doesnt start making a move to prep the wedding - your leaving him for someone else! If he doesnt budge, you'll know he was playing you for a fool.  

Answer 21

maybe he knows that he wants to marry you but isnt ready yet