Does he want to take advantage of me?

Question

My boyfriend of 5years says that he won't marry me until I have finish college ( I have 2 years to go not including grad school) because he wants to ensure that we have a good future. However the catch is that he dropped out of college about 2years ago ( he would be graduating 2009). One of my friends says that this means he wants me to pay the bills and have most of the financial responsibilities. Do you think he is trying to take advantage of me? Should I continue this relationship?

Answer 1

Tell him that you will not marry him unless he goes back to school and gets his degree.....You also want to ensure your financial future..

Answer 2

No one can truly answer that question but you.  First off I don't believe one places school in front of a relationship.  After all what is he doing to ensure that you will have a good future?  If he dropped out of school was it for a good reason and is he currently pursuing a true career with future opportunities available.  You have to look at the whole picture and the key is in the little details.  If he is sitting around playing games and going out with his friends then you could assume he is wanting you to take care of him in the future.

Answer 3

yes it does seem as though he using you and to be honest he just stalling things

Maybe you should look at the relationship and ask yourself are you getting out as much as you are putting in

all the best

Answer 4

justwant has it down.  Listen to that advice.

Answer 5

Well obviously he is expecting more from you then he does himself and that is bull****. However if that is the way you want to live it is up to you but if i were you I would want someone as motivated as I am at least close to it anyways...

Answer 6

So, he's basically saying he'll be marrying you for the money you are going to make in the future.  So, that makes him a user, doesn't it?

Answer 7

I would think that he just wants your future ensured, and not make a mistake like he did. But obviously if you're questioning him and you think he's capable of taking advantage of you, you shouldn't be continuing this relationship.

Answer 8

With your degree you will be making more money then him.. Whats wrong with him going back to school and finish. Why should the pressure be on you to finish college. He needs to take some responsibility in the relationship to.

Answer 9

I was in a relationship of 5 years... We started dating when I was 17 and he was 19.... I graduated from college, and now I am starting graduate school in september... him?? he is still the same, no future, no good job, nothing... I grew up, I got my stuff in order and I want a good future and make a name for myself, and him? still the same. Which is what I realized right before my college graduation and left him and actually want to find a guy who is at the same level as me, because that really matters.

We grew apart and became people of two different worlds, yes 5 yrs is a long time, and I love him and still do, and I know you really love your boyfriend too, but you need to think about this realistically... think about your future, how are you guys gonna get by? and support each other? are you the only one thats going to pay the bills? what about him? say you become a doctor, and he's just a regular worker, are you going to be able to bring him into your new set of friends? think about stuff like this.... and then decide what you want to do. I dont want to say that he is taking advantage of you.. but I know that he knows this much (just like my ex) ... he knows what he has, he knows the type of girl he has and he knows the type of girl you are going to become and he knows where he stands with you and knows that he is not going to get someone at your level because he knows he can never be at your level... so he is just dragging you along until you are done with school so he can marry you and have you forever w/o doing a d**n thing. and that's selfish!

Answer 10

You cannot see that?

If you had a daughter asking you this question, what would your advice to her be?

That's your answer.

If he hasn't married you after 5 yrs. why will he after you finish college?I mean he is DOING you like he is married to you isn't he?

He is living with you like he is married to you isn't he?

The ONLY thing that keeps you from being married is a marriage license and cerimony.

Like they say"why buy the cow when you are getting free milk?"

Answer 11

I'm with the first person who replied.  

And honestly, it does sound a bit fishy.  Be careful.

Answer 12

should you continue?dont let others opinion get into your head. has he ever gave you a reason to think about him that way? is he at least working and paying his own bills now?and even so just b.c youll have a good job doesnt mean youll have to help him out financially. there also mught be a reason why he dont want to marry you,have you thought about that. if he was really using you he'd be married to you by now cuz he knows youll finish soon.

Answer 13

The things is he he stringing you along. When you finish, I doubt he will marry you. Why is he wanting you to do something he is not willing to do? It sounds like you will always have to be the responsible one, and I am here to tell you, that is no fun. While you are still young and in college, drop him and go out and have fun. Date other while you have the opportunity because if you don't, you will regret it once you graduate and he is long gone. You can not get back that time- live it.

Answer 14

Make him go back to school if that doesn't work... leave him and tell him why. I mean come on it's the man's job to provide for the family.  if he can't provide or wont provide that just makes him useless... Unless he is willing to do something else. , while you're working